Hi all!

I've been there, done that with high-emotional-needs kids, and both are in their late teens now. The only thing that held me together was the thought that every child has three parents (Mom, Dad, and God) -- and at least one of us knows what he is doing! So, for what it is worth, here is a little wisdom I learned along the way:

People (even teens) have the right to be wrong sometimes.

Love is not the most important thing -- being understood is far more important.

Fights and tears are fine -- they are the debits of a relationship. As long as you keep up the deposits of fun, love, companionship, respect, etc., the net balance will always come out positive.

Usually a teen doesn't want Mom or Dad to solve things for them, only to sympathize. Give advice like spice -- a little at a time and only when the stew is strong enough not to be overpowered by it.

There is a reason I have my problems and they have theirs --obviously we are supposed to work on them together.

My child is not responsible for my reactions to him/her: my physical wellness, frustration, anger, embarrassment, or whatever is my own problem. I can express my feeelings, and take action to help myself (a great opportunity to model coping skills) without encouraging or allowing the child to feel guilty or responsible.

(That last was the hardest -- and it has to be the parents that bring it up and keep teaching it.)

Hope this helps! --Shari