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-   -   I'm afraid of myself when I'm angry at my bipolar niece (https://www.neurotalk.org/parents-with-bipolar-children/161948-im-afraid-im-angry-bipolar-niece.html)

mrsD 12-15-2011 09:19 AM

I agree with Mari about the Concerta (methylphenidate)

This can cause huge meltdown, withdrawal behaviors when the drug wears off, in the evening! Violence in some cases!

I would see if a medication change/adjustment could help in this situation. That seems very serious to me. My son was on Ritalin (methylphenidate) for 5 years and I know first hand how he "lost" it occasionally. We eventually controlled the ADHD with natural interventions.

gesturepen 12-16-2011 01:51 AM

Quote:

Why is she getting Concerta when her moods are not controlled? ?? ?? Usually psyhciatrists first try to stabilize the moods. Only secondly they try to work on the ADHD - type behavior.
I think she was put on Concerta to help with her ADHD, and it has helped with her concentration in school, from what I know.

Quote:

Question: After these tantrums does she usually sleep for long periods?

Question: Does she tell you she doesn't remember doing the behaviour
(hitting,kicking,throwing.) Things like this in or around the behaviour?

And really looks very surprised when you call her on it. Even to the point
you think she is a good actress? I have a reason for these questions.

For the first question, most of her worst tantrums take place at night; so I don't know if she falls asleep because of the tantrum or because she's already tired. When she does throw a tantrum during the day, she usually leaves the house or hides in her room afterwards, which is followed by a call/trip to her friends for venting, but she doesn't fall asleep.

For the second question, when she's caught in a lie, she normally blames a friend or tries to convince us we don't remember the event correctly. For example, she stole a grey shirt of mine, lost it, and when asked where it went, she denied taking it. She went into the bedroom and grabbed another grey shirt, saying that was the one she took to school. Even when she had her tantrum later that day (after my mother punished her for stealing), she continued to deny what happened and spent the whole evening yelling at us for accusing her of something she says she didn't do. When my mother found my shirt in the back seat of the car the next day, her explanation was that my mother must have brought the shirt to the car with her. That's how things generally go when she gets caught doing something wrong. She's never claimed not to remember something, just made up stories about what happened.

My mother's concerned about adjusting my niece's medications too much due to her weight. The psychiatrist wanted to increase one of her medications (I've forgotten which one) and my mother was hesitant about it.

Mari 12-16-2011 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gesturepen (Post 832789)
My mother's concerned about adjusting my niece's medications too much due to her weight. The psychiatrist wanted to increase one of her medications (I've forgotten which one) and my mother was hesitant about it.

HI,
Start keeping daily notes of
1 meds
2 behaviors
3 sleep

Ask the psychiatrist to take her off the Concerta for two weeks. She might not need it. More importantly, it might be causing the melt downs.

It's not useful to try to push her about a lie, make her tell her the truth, . . . these are the kinds of things you can learn in therapy and in nami.org

I don't understand why your mother would say "no" to medication because of weight. The psychiatrist can perhaps try a different medication.
Drastically lower the carbs and junk in the house - - - pasta, pizza, bread, chips, potatoes, . . . . fried foods, . . .sweets
These foods are generally bad for people. They can be particularly bad for children with mood swings.


M

Dmom3005 12-28-2011 09:13 AM

How are things going now.

Let us know.

Donna:grouphug::hug:

gesturepen 03-17-2012 01:32 AM

Ah, I'm sorry guys! You've all given such wonderful advice that I haven't had a chance to reply to. In January, I started job-hunting more aggressively. So, I was distracted with resume workshops and job interviews. That added onto the usual drama with my niece meant less time for things online.

Anyway, a lot has happened since 2012 started. The big thing, though: my niece moved to Texas to live with her mother and sister a few weeks ago. Things were going okay for a while, but the other day, I discovered she took my iPod and camera with her when she left. The other things she stole were small- a shirt, some of my food- I'm used to that. But now she's taken something I can't afford to replace, at least not until I get a job. We called her mother and described both things to her, she found the camera right away, but the iPod's still missing. I'm assuming she gave my niece a speaking to because about 20 minutes later my niece called us back to yell at my mother (we've never been particularly close, she'll lash out at my mother when she's made at me.) My mother told me she said something along the lines of "I can't believe you told on me" before my mother got in an argument with her. Nothing about how she stole something; in fact, she insisted she got the camera from a friend, although the friend's name changed each time she told the story.

What frustrates me more than the stealing (which makes me feel angry and betrayed all on its own) is the lying about it. I think that's the main reason why I felt so angry when she lived with us. It was that she'd do these things, lie, and then act like we're the enemy for being mad at her and punishing her. She spun things so that she was always the victim like that. I guess it's a good thing my niece isn't here when I'm this angry, but I don't feel much better. When I get furious like this, I feel physically drained.

From what I know, she's still on the Concerta and Abilify regimen. She's also taken to stealing from her older sister. I know it must frustrate her as much as it frustrated me. I do wonder if my niece has something else on top of BP, since I haven't read anything that suggest stealing is a symptom of BP. We never got a chance to discuss it in therapy, and I don't think they've found a new therapist in Texas yet. She was diagnosed with ODD at one point, but I don't know if she is still being treated for that.

Mari 03-17-2012 05:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gesturepen (Post 861718)
What frustrates me more than the stealing (which makes me feel angry and betrayed all on its own) is the lying about it. I think that's the main reason why I felt so angry when she lived with us. It was that she'd do these things, lie, and then act like we're the enemy for being mad at her and punishing her. She spun things so that she was always the victim like that. I guess it's a good thing my niece isn't here when I'm this angry, but I don't feel much better. When I get furious like this, I feel physically drained.

From what I know, she's still on the Concerta and Abilify regimen. She's also taken to stealing from her older sister. I know it must frustrate her as much as it frustrated me. I do wonder if my niece has something else on top of BP, since I haven't read anything that suggest stealing is a symptom of BP. We never got a chance to discuss it in therapy, and I don't think they've found a new therapist in Texas yet. She was diagnosed with ODD at one point, but I don't know if she is still being treated for that.


Hi,

Have you found a therapist?

You can learn techniques that help you deal with this.

My bet is that the niece has something else instead of or in addition to Bipolar.

M

gesturepen 03-19-2012 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mari (Post 861729)
Hi,

Have you found a therapist?

You can learn techniques that help you deal with this.

My bet is that the niece has something else instead of or in addition to Bipolar.

M

I haven't. Unfortunately, I'm still unemployed and don't have the money for health insurance. It's been quite a while since I've seen a therapist. In the back of my mind, I've known that I should see someone and talk about this, but until I get a job, I don't think that will happen.

Hopefully my niece will see a different therapist in Texas who may be able to see if there are any disorders in addition to BP or if she was wrongly diagnosed to begin with.

ginnie 03-19-2012 07:55 PM

Hi gesturepen
 
Welcome to Neuro Talk. If you want therapy, don't be afraid to go to your county health department. They can often give referrals to therapists who treat according to your means. There are also mental health clinics that offer this same service. Get on line in your community, and I do believe even though you don't have insurance that you can still get some council. I wish you all the best. ginnie


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