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Don’t Know What to Do

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Old 04-17-2019, 04:13 PM   #1
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Default Don’t Know What to Do

Hi, this is my first post here. I’ve been searching the Internet, looking for help/support. I’m reaching the end of my tether.

My daughter is 9 years old. From an early age it was clear she was ‘different’, but quite intelligent. My family is rife with mental health issues, and as I have two children already with ASD, my daughter was tested. The results came back inconclusive as the professionals couldn’t agree. Eventually she was diagnosed with ADHD. Every time we saw the paediatrician, my daughter (I’ll refer to her as DD from now on) was in a good mood, quite high spirits almost to the point of being “off”. What I found hard to explain to the paed, was the dramatic low points she enevitably hits. I have a brother with bipolar, and as DD gets older, I recognise the symptoms more and more. I expressed my concerns to the paed, and he told me she’s too young to be diagnosed (she’s 9), and “she’s such a delight, she just needs some discipline when necessary”. I’m no softie, I don’t let my kids get away with everything, but I balance it with lots of love too. Even after I told the paed that my daughter has had episodes where she hears voices that aren’t there, and at one point thought she was God’s chosen one, and his mouthpiece for humanity, the paed still saw this as nothing to be concerned about.

DD was given dexamphetamine for ADHD, and it’s made things worse. I stopped it after a few weeks. Recently puberty has hit, and her symptoms have ramped up dramatically. The lows are coming thick and fast, and she spends a lot of time in her room talking to herself. This all come to a head yesterday while I was at work. I can’t use my phone at work, it’s against policy, and I don’t have time anyway. I work in the food industry, my shifts are only 4-6 hrs long, three times a week. I finished a particularly gruelling shift yesterday, and called my mum to let her know I was on my way home (it’s school holidays and she watches the kids while I’m working). I then noticed a message from my daughters iPod sent to my phone, it said “I’m blocking you”. I scrolled back to find an absolute tirade of abuse. She had texted me to get my payment information for a YouTube movie. I had already told her in the past that she can’t have my payment info. Now, because I couldn’t answer, the approximately 50 messages were full of random emojis, and then messages such as “If you don’t answer me, im telling the school what a fat ugly mother you are, and that you care more about your customers than your kids”, “you’re a pig, no, you’re a cow, a fat ugly cow”, “answer my request, I hate you you ungrateful pig!”. She had never gone this far before. I immediately sent the texts to my husband, then sat in the car and cried before I went to meet the kids. Her iPod has been confiscated. I asked her what on earth she was thinking, and she just shrugged and looked back at me blankly. I told her, through tears, how inappropriate she had been, and her father came home and spoke to her about it too. She says she doesn’t know, or understand why she said what she did. An hour later, she’s acting like nothing ever happened.

Come bedtime, she struggled. She kept getting out of bed and coming to hug me, telling me her tummy hurt and her head felt “funny”. She got out of bed at least 10 times to come hug me before she finally wrapped herself in my bathrobe, and went to sleep.

I’ve been trying to tell the doctor for So long something isn’t right. I know I have physical proof in those messages now, but our next appointment isn’t until September; chances of bringing it forward are slim. I also have video footage of an incident where she went from zero to 100 and got so frustrated, she threw the garbage bin across the room.

I don’t know what to do. She shares a room with a younger sister, but we’re rearranging things now because I fear for the younger ones safety. I feel so hopeless, lost and don’t know what to do from here. How did everything go so wrong?
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Dmom3005 (04-26-2019), Mari (04-18-2019), OhKay (04-30-2019)
Old 04-18-2019, 02:31 AM   #2
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 18,704
My Mood: Don’t Know What to Do

'So sorry for what you are going through.

It's common for children to be diagnosed (wrongly) first with ADD before getting diagnosed with bipolar.
She might have Bipolar as you suggest (the fact that it runs in the family is important.)

This organization might be of help. It's a support group for family members:
NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness. THey have meetings in lots of communities or you can contact them on-line I believe.

My Suggestion: She needs an appointment with a psychiatrist who works
with patients with bipolar so that you can get more insight than you have with
the professionals so far.
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Dmom3005 (04-26-2019), OhKay (04-30-2019)
Old 04-26-2019, 11:00 AM   #3
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 11,178
My Mood: Don’t Know What to Do

Mari, Is so correct. You could also start with an therapist that
can then help you get her into an psychiatrist.

I'm not positive but I'm guessing you might be overseas. Which
might make it harder to get into one with out the doctor helping
you. Can you take her to the hospital when this is going on
next time, and show all the other texts and the other incident you
have on record? That might be a way to get help too.

Not that I would want you to have to wait if its at all possible to
get help before. Also is the school any help, can they help by
getting you into some one also.
It might be that the person they can get you into you would have
to pay. But sometimes its ones that if the right income its free.

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OhKay (04-30-2019)

daughter, dont, im, paed, told

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