My Daughter is about to turn 15. We started looking for answers when she was 10/11. School became almost impossible for. At first we thougth she was playing games. But when I allowed the Truancy/Police come to the house to get her to go to school and she didn't budge: I knew something was going on and it was real. The first Doctor didn't agree with me and decided Megs was full of it and playing games. The school councelor agreed with me. So we kept up the search for what was going on. Her moods were all over the place. School was taught at home for most of 6th, 7th and 8th grade. It wasn't until an attempt on her own life that doctors took notice. They didn't get her. She seem a generally pleasant child, seemed outgoing and confident, she had friends but she just didn't want to go to school. They were so Wrong, and I knew it. My child had changed in a big way. What she was going through was not your average "growing pains"! After we moved closer to the City and settled in it became even more apparent that Someting had to be done. I can't say I was relieved with the diagnosis but now there was an answer. Now we could try and find the best treatment possible. It only took 3 years. but that really isn't that unusual. I guess because she didn't "act" bad enough they didn't think it could be possible. How dumb is that. These Children and teens have an array of symptoms and some are worse or not as bad as others. So many different variations of Bi polar. I knew it wouldn't be easy for her...But I hope and pray every day that she will be able to have all the right tools in order to live life to the best of her ability. She has had 3 hospital stays in the last 2 years, Sees here therapist regualarly along with the shrink and the school is helping her to get into the High School full time. (she goes to 2 different schools). Right now things are going good. I know it could change in an instant and our struggles are not over but it's good to know that there can be times when things are ok and filled with hope. So right now it's good. It seemed it would never at least be ok....but for now it is. Lori T.

Lori I am so glad things are relatively stable for you right now. I was curious as to how she goes to 2 different schools. I have yet another IEP coming up and I do believe this one is going to be a fight because the results of the others have been totally worthless. I am hoping for an advocate as I have put in a call to different places. Hopefully tomorrow I will hear something. It is Friday.

At the end of 8th grade she started an alternative school, with less kids and more help. Prior to that the school sent a teacher to the house for home bound studies. So she goes to the alternative school half day and the high school the other half. Most districts have that. The one problem is Most of the kids are ones that have gotten into so much trouble that they are not allowed to go to the "normal" school and Megs doesn't fit into that category. There is a lot more help for the kids though. We chose this for her so we can take her out any time we want. Her own goal is to be in the High School full time by next sememster. The IEP meetings we had prior to all of this were a problem because they hadn't a clue as to what to do with her!!!! We got lucky with the high school Pychologist because she is fantastic at her job. I was getting ready to pull in an advocate and she came to the last meeting. The bottom line is the school has to to do what is best no matter what. It takes a lot of pushing! It's hard cause in general these are good kids who have a bad rap or aren't so called bad kids so they don't know what to do with them. They didn't have a goal on Meg's IEP ...not sure they do right now. I have to find that out. She's so darn smart to so we made sure she has her core classes at the high school.(she came home with a 5th grade book 2nd day of school)! The school also has to pay for her transportation to and from both schools and from home. I guess my advice would be demand some kind of goal and better outcome before you even leave. Even if it means a personal aid to help keep your child on task. Did they test him? There's a whole slue of testing they are suppose to do and sometimes unless you ask they don't do them. They love to try and intemidate us! Luckily this is not my first kid or my first IEP experience. My middle has Learning Disabilities and we got her through it all. She graduated this year. This other though is way different then LD problems. Let me know if you have any questions. This can be so overwhelming and I'm still learning but would be glad to help. Oh, The phone book usually has a list of schools in the area and if it's not through the district and is private but turns out to be the best for your child they have to pay for that also. Good luck and let me know what happens! Lori T.

Wow it sounds as though your school district is awesome. They tried to get me to send him to alternative but then told me that if he goes there he will lose all of his special education status but I can see how if it is only part time it wouldn't affect it.

He did a stint in alternative ed back in 2005 as an expulsion for taking a knife to school and threatening a child. This was before his diagnosis, we all got help immediately and both he and I got a diagnosis of Bipolar, his one, mine 2. We are also looking now at the possibility of Anxiety Disorder which would explain his problem taking tests and his beginnings of an ulcer.

He wants to get an education and we are doing what we can to keep him in school, also we want to keep him from becoming socially stunted so keeping him in the school system is good for that and getting use to the fact that the world is not all running in fields of daisies lol.

It doesn't make sense to me he would lose his SE because of going to an Alternative school. That's a bunch of Garbage. Both schools should be able to work to help him. Even full time he would have a Full IEP. You may want to check state laws and child rights on that one cuz I think the may be full of it. I know every state is different but not that much. We're in the Chicago area...trust me the system isn't the best but it's ok. They are overwhelmed and do not offer as much as Wisconsin schools as far as the cirriculum goes (unless you live in a right area). But they are trying. The alt school Megs goes to starts K thru 12!! It's unreal and small. Isn't the goal to have the kids mainstreamed and doing well in school? So then how can they just throw him in the one school without benefit
of an IEP/SE and forget about it. There may also be other schools that are out of district that he is allowed to go to...its hard to do that but if its a less violent school it may be better. Geeze my other daughter was never dismissed from her IEP so she could get the help she needs for college this fall. So if a college accepts The LD student with an IEP how can an alt school be different. I think they may be blowing smoke up you know where. I think I can leave my email now so please feel free to email me with any questions. I'll try to do a little research myself on this one. I know I have a lot more to learn anyway and will most likley find out something that could help us both. Hang in their...Lori T. tassone48@comcast.net

Kind of got cut off in my reply because we have been having computer time wars here at home now that my son is back lol. Forever wanting to check MySpace messages lol.

I did mention to him about your daughter splitting her time between schools and because we had discussed alternative he seemed interested. He liked the alternative class but when he went the school was also split with Adult Ed, you could smell pot and cigarettes in the bathroom, his lunch kept getting stolen. Most of the kids had been expelled for crimes (like him) and it just wasn't a very good environment.

I think one of the big problems with this school is that they may not really have encountered all of this. I mean, yeah, the IEPs and special education but I am sure many parents don't fight and probably just go along with what they say or take them out and Adult Ed (which I almost did) or homeschool, I am not emotionally equipped for that.

Right now I have decided he is going to stay in school most of the time but we are going to ask for some things that they aren't going to like. They have agreed to let him test out of an English class he failed despite the fact that it is past the deadline. That was a big thing I wanted. He got a math teacher that he didn't get along with in ninth grade again this year that failed him his first year of high school so we are going to either do online at home or change teachers because he has a math teacher that will fight for him. Just some little things that could make things go better for him. Their big thing is "if we do it for your child then we have to let all the kids do it". Uh duh, you're the adults, no you don't. My child has a learning disability, now if another comes along that needs the same then yes if necessary.

My thing is that I don't know what I have a right to ask for so I am trying to get an advocate. I keep leaving messages with a particular woman and she still hasn't returned my call. She is very busy this morning so I left my third message lol.

As for the testing they did all of that, he was average, and he also had a psychological evaluation done by the courts in early 2005. I have saved everything from the last 3-4 years and keep notes of dates and phone calls, even if I just left a message.

Thanks for all the info. I am going to go read your other posts now lol.

This school is making me mad! Hello People...if your son has an IEP that does mean he is to get the special help...The {I} does mean INDIVIDUAL. Heck he should be able to go to the Special Ed room if needed during the day. And no way should they be putting him in Adult ED. Thats crazy. You can ask for anything that's for sure, its the getting it part that can be difficult. Sorry just got a bit worked up. Just remind them that IEP does mean he get help even if it's just for him. Wow, they sure have that backwards don't the. I am so sorry your having all these problems with the school. Is there anyone you can bring that might be able to help? Sometimes if we Bring someone with (besides our spouse) it helps. They may sit up and take some notice. Keep working on an Advocate...you may be able to find another outside person through a lawyer that doesn't charge. I don't know. Our school system isn't the best but they are trying. OH, what about his Doctor does he/she have any ideas. Here they wanted and insisted on his input. It was through a letter. He just spelled out what he thought best for Megs and it made a hugh difference. He's the one that knew about the other school. Thats when things started to turn around. Anyone else have ideas. School is hard enough to deal with and when we have kids with special needs it's even harder! I sure am Glad this is my last child to go through High School! I'll look some more. Your in Michigan? Take care Lori T.

Dear Christina,
Hang tough.
After a while they learn which parents they can push around and which parents are going to push and push until they get what they need for their children.

I think that they are still learning about you.

You are doing a great job.
I hope that that advocate or another one comes through for you.
If that advocate is too busy right now, get the name of someone else.


Mari

I spent about 40 minutes on the phone with the advocate yesterday afternoon. She was wonderful, has a15 yr old with exactly the same problems as mine. She gave me some great pointers and advised me that when the meeting is at it's end and if my son or I are not satisfied then we do not have to sign but I forgot to ask her if there is anyway that if I do sign and things don't work can we make adjustments or do I need to call for another IEP. I think they told me that I can only do so many IEPs during a school year. One I thought.

She is so busy, there have been huge cutbacks and at this time there is only one advocate in each of the 3 or 4 largest counties in the lower peninsula. It is ridiculous. There is no way there is anyone available to come with me. So I am going to attempt to do this.

This schedule that they have these teenagers on is ridiculous. Getting a 16 yr old teenage boy up 5:30 in the morning is absurd. I keep hearing all these studies that they are doing talking about how much sleep teens need and what hours they are at their best yet the education system is set up so that zombies are filling the schools in the early morning hours lol. My poor kid, between his meds, biological clock, sleeping habits with his mental illness, sleeps on and off pretty much through his first two hours. Thank goodness last year he had two teachers that were very understanding and as long as he worked and tried to stay awake they weren't too harsh. Hopefully this year the morning training center is hands on and he won't have a chance to sleep.

I am scared to death to go alone. It is day after tomorrow. You guys pray for me to get through this and to get it right.

First I'm going to chime in on the fact that she told you if you and your son
aren't happy at the end to not sign. She is totally correct.

If you don't sign, they will then be ready to recovene the case conference
to get the IEP more to your liking a lot faster than if you do sign it.

So I personally would say no do not sign it. If you do sign it. Yes you can
have another meeting, but they have a signed IEP, and technically they
can drag their feet on when they allow you to have the next meeting.
There is a good chance that after a reasonable time has passed and no
conference has been held you would have to file a complaint and prove that
they violated the request for a conference. But in most cases asking for
mediation would be the best.


So I would keep it were you have it best in your own hands. Also make sure
you get a copy of your states laws before the meeting. And also remember
that at any time you believe the meeting isn't going good. You can say this
meeting is over, we will need to recovene when we are all ready to look into
his best interest. I will send you a list of what I feel is the best for him,
and then give them a timetable as to when you will have it ready for them.

And leave the meeting.

Donna