I don't know about anyone else, but I personally cannot focus on the problems of anyone else; including my four children, if my own emotions are so out of whack that I can't think straight.

I think focusing on your own health should be first and foremost. Once the pain from your self-described crisis starts to lesson then you will be able to care for the needs of your son and other children. The chaos in your house will lesson as well once you are feeling more in control. (the old saying ***** rolls downhill is SO true.)

Once your needs are met you will be a wonderful advocate for the help needed by our child! There are many centers and services available. (I run a non profit for special needs children that includes invidual and family counseling, IEP and 504 writeups and advocacy for school and work related issues, respite care for those times you are at the end of your rope, and a center that the kids can just come play games and interact with each other in a safe atmosphere.) These types of serves are available throughout the United States - although finding them can prove difficult. Ask for help locating them when you go into speak with your own care providers!