I know what you are going thru also. I was the care giver for first my father who had alzheimers and then my mother who also had alzheimers. I am so very glad I did what I did, even tho looking back there were many times I reached out to my siblings for help. It was overwhelming to take care of an aging parent. I had 4 kids, was working, and was dxed with pd. I was the one the nursing home called in the middle of the night when my mom was throwing herself on the floor, etc. I understand why you are tremendously exhausted.
I remember when my siblings flew up to help, that was the worst. They didn't really help, but I was the one who entertained them in my home, drove them to and from nursing home, watched Mom while they went shopping. Finally I broke down and screamed at them that their "help" was running me ragged. Everyone appreciated what I was doing but no one was willing to set their life aside a little to help or to take turns watching the parent. They felt it was best to not move parent even tho the one taking care of the parent is physically wilting away. There was no easy solution.
I love my parents tremendously, but am glad that chapter of my life is over. It was so hard to see them in that condition. My dad, an ex-naval officer would wait out in the hallway of nursing home for someone to change his diapers. Or my mom, a medical librarian could not even read anymore, would rip her diapers off, throw things at nurses. I am glad they are at peace now. So when I miss them so much at least inside I know they are alot happier where they are and I will see them again.
Yes, I was exhausted and shell shocked for a long time after and taking care of the personal and financial aspects of their life took a long time also. I miss them tremendously but it was so hard seeing them in that condition.
I am sorry to have gotten carried away a little, but this thread opened up alot of memories for me. It is wonderful what you did for your dad, that is something that I know you must never regret doing. As hard a time as it is, it is also very special. They look up to you so much for their needs with the innocence of a child. I now cherish that special time I spent with both my parents, and would do it over again if I had to.

You were a wonderful, loving, thoughtful daughter.

My only brother died as a teenager in 1965 - so the responsibility was mine alone. I can see from your experiences that even if my brother HAD lived, it wouldn't have meant my role would have been easier. As it was my Dad grieved for my brother his entire life long and at the end just asked to die "and be with Doug." Dad got his wish, and I feel some comfort that they are together at last.

(As an aside; My mother is still alive and living independently - I take one day at a time and refuse to project what the future may bring. )

peace & love to all, Jean

Jean,

So sorry about your dad...also glad for you that you spent that close and companiable time with him at the end of his life.

I also feel for your loss of your brother so many years ago. Every loss evokes all other losses...this may be affecting you too.

When those of us with PD have to help someone else, we tend to rise to the occasion. I think it actually helps us get out of ourselves and even though it tires us, we benefit too. Then when it's over we feel double the fatigue, double the grief.

I echo those who say, ease up on yourself, give yourself time. And like Rick I recommend a favorite supplement: Vitamin B12 transdermal liquid. I purchase this at essentialnaturals.com.

Thinking of you and your dad,

Kathleen