Last January my mom turned Dad's care to me. We put him in an assisted care home near me (because of his Alzheimer's), and I visited him several times a week. When he was sick, I took him to the doctor or hospital. When the facility needed something, I got the calls and took care of everything. When he called and asked for me, I went to see him.

It took a toll on my health and energy level. It's been a month now since Dad passed away, and I'm wondering if I'll ever get "back to normal" (LOL whatever my normal was...") .

What do you think? Will I get my energy back? Or maybe I'm being impatient and need to give this more time?

Sorry to hear about your father's death. Mourning a parent or close loved one is a whole other state of physical being that can lower your immunity for up to a year I was told, but have no resources to back it up. I think you'll be surprised at how much energy you will have when you get out and do something enjoyable.


paula

Thanks paula,

We're just back from a couple of short trips. i'd hoped to feel better after those but I don't.

I think I'll sign up for grief counseling - provided by the hospice organization.

Jean

jean-
Just in case it is physical rather than psychological problem (as though there was some orderly dividing line LOL) you might try the alpha lipoic acid and acetyl-L-carnitine combo for a few days. It is well established that it boosts energy output of the mitochondria and my own experience indicates that it does scale up to the macro level. I see effects within two to four days so you get quick feedback.

Thanks, Rick

I'll try it!

Jean,
My best advice is to take extra, extra good care of yourself - whatever you feel that would be. After my dad died, leaving me in charge of an estate that was basically bankrupt but was nevertheless about to be sued by his sisters, I disintegrated. Twenty-five years before Parkinson's hit. The loss of the dad I loved so much along with the family drama did me in. It took a year before I had any energy or laughter again. I was physically wiped out, mentally in a fog much of the time.

Our society seems to set very high expectations about how quickly we should "bounce back" from these things - I think the greater wisdom was found in the days when the bereaved wore black and stayed home for a year.

You have been through a horrible time, with apparently not much support and you've lost your father -of course you are exhausted, mentally and physically. Go with it, rest, walk, cry, write - whatever your body tells you to do. It's a hard time.

My sympathy to you.

Jean - I've been thinking of you often recently because I just returned from a visit with my parents in Colorado, and my mother has Alzheimers. My dad has primary care, he is 75 and getting worn out. My presence in their house for a few days was extremely stressful for all because her regular routine was set on its head, and we all suffered. I kept wondering how you did it for all of that time.

No wonder you have no energy. But I really believe it will return if you take care of yourself with patience. Don't go into hibernation, but also don't take on too much - achieving a balance now, when you have been off-the-charts busy is key to both your physical and mental health.

Keeping you in my thoughts -

Thank you for your kind thoughts. I lost a beloved father and it is going to take time to recover.

Sasha, i think you are right - we need to don black and set aside time for grieving.

Carey - you are right,too. No way can I get back into the frenetic advocacy routine I had been in. My brain is foggy. My body and spirit are exhausted.

thank you for caring.

Three years ago my father died with grace and humor. I adored him and it took nearly three years before I could say his name or refer oblique to him without crying. Not a big cryer in real life it was a terrible embarrassment to me. I think part of it was I am more emotional because of PD but more of it was I had lost a father that I missed every day.

Give yourself a break. Some things take time. I am at the point now that I can tell funny stories and hear funny stories about him without breaking down. In our face paced culture we feel pressured to get over everything quickly and move on. Sometimes we just have to do the time.

I'm sorry for you loss.

Thank you for speaking from the heart. Your words made me cry. I was slowly losing my dad to Alzheimer's, but he still knew me. And we'd have nice afternoons when I'd bring in a movie (a western usually) and lunch. I might have to remind him what happened, and who was the good guy, but they were good times.

He would tell me not to come and see him so often, and I'd tell him I was so glad to have him near me so I COULD spend time with him. And how lucky I was to be his daughter.

I do miss him. He was the nicest, funniest man. Everyone loved him. You are right. It will take time. I need to take time. I miss him every day.

Jean