Maybe this is premature, but anyway, I saw my neuro two weeks ago, because he wanted to see me after I had notified him about the accident I had gotten into

He has known about the nasty off periods Ive been having, as well as being extremely uncomfortable after my meds wear off for the day, but I had never talked to him about the anxiety, and depression Ive been going through, because, I figured it would pass, and the truth is, it was getting worse, and instead of doing something about it, I allowed it to fester, for too long, probably about 3 or 4 years too long..I found myself isolating, and not wanting to deal with people.."Dont call me, I'll call you"..I also found myself using pd for an excuse everytime I didnt want to do something, deal with something, or get invited to do whatever with friends that I didnt feel like doing, etc..I found myself doing alot more listening than talking in conversations, and generally because I felt like I had nothing to say

I had a rude awakening when I was being transported to the hospital after the accident..They stapped me down, and put the God awful neck brace on me, and shortly after my meds wore off, and that uncomfortable feeling of not being comfortable in any postion came on, and I was flippng out being strapped down with that frickin neck brace on..After some pleading, and then some agruing, the EMT let me sit up, which was still not good, but better that it was..There was an element of stress going on as well..My bp, was 190 over 80, at the scene of the accident

Then I started playing out all these scenarios in my head, like, what if I got busted up bad, and they didnt know I had pd, or was extremely uncomfortable, and in pain on top of it all, in the hands of someone elses decisions/judgement calls, ect..in other words, not in control?

I finally told my neuro about how I felt about all of this, and how my attitude, has gone downhill progressively for a while..Instead of looking at what I still could do, I have been dwelling on what I cannot do, or have difficulty doing

So my neuro's response was, that I was dwelling on things that may never happen, so he decided that Rx-ing more Stalevo was probably not a good idea, because it would probably make the dyskinesia/dystonia/wearing off periods worse

So he put me on one dose of valium 5 mgs at night, at around the time my meds are due to wear off, figuring that it would relax my muscles, and address the anxiety, and depression problem

I cannot believe the difference it made, right from the first dose!..Most of the anxiety is gone, and all of the depression is gone..I am alot more comfortable at night now, my attitude is more upbeat, I have more patience, and some of my symptoms are toned down, an a few others are gone..And what really is remarkable is, that the positive effects of the valium on my emotional condition, are still reasonably good the next day long after the drug has worn off

So evidently, or should I say obviously, as pd progresses, a deficiency of the "feel good" chemicals in the brain begins to take place..( I knew this )..and causes more stress...( knew that too )..and leads to anxiety, and depression..( knew that too, but was in denial that it was happening to me)

I finally went out fishing today, after a long hiatus, and felt, good, confident, strong, and excited, instead of feeling skeptical, hesitant, weak, and just going through the motions to get through it

Its amazing what you can learn after you know it all..........

Steve.. That is absolutely wonderful! I'm so very happy for you.