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Junior Member
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 79
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Junior Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 79
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Tips On Being Sick
Some years ago, one of the members of my PD online group wrote something worth sharing. Her name is Kathleen and her nickname was Katsu. She wrote it for a friend who was coping with cancer. I have since lost track of her, but her advice is sound for anyone with a serious illness. Use what you need and throw away the rest.
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Tips on Being Sick
-YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE ROUGH DAYS
No matter how strong you are or want to be or show yourself to be, you are going to have rough days. They might be physical (when you might feel so sick and so tired that you cannot get out of bed) or emotional (days you just want to explode-- when you are just tired of being strong or when you want to quit being sick) or both. Well, that's ok. Allow yourself to be sick, for an hour or two or even a day or two. What I mean is, if you're going to feel sick, you might as well enjoy it. Don't let yourself play the guilt game or the "I should be" game (I should be stronger...I should be making dinner). Sometimes you just need to let yourself be sick. By relaxing and resting, you will be able to enjoy the family more- sooner.
-IT IS HARD TO BE STRONG
If you are like me, you are strong for everybody no matter how you feel. It's just the natural thing to do. You protect them from the pain you feel. There is not much advice I can give to you, but sometimes finding a good chat room helps, where people have gone and are going through the same thing you are, or seeing a psychologist for support -- what I like to call a safe place to let out my feelings. Sometimes it is good to let them out.
-SOMETIMES IT IS NOT THE SICKNESS BUT JUST LIFE
Some days might feel worse than others, but look at what you did that day. Did you do a lot? Do you have a cold? Or are you just having a rough day? Are you feeling more stress? This is important to how you feel now. Know your limits, your body; then you will know why one day might be worse than another. You might even be able to predict rough days.
-YOU CANNOT DO EVERYTHING
To have energy for your family, you might have to lessen your load for a while. It takes some of the stress off and really does make life at this difficult time easier and less stressful, making life more enjoyable for you.
-NOBODY REALLY UNDERSTANDS WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH
What you feel is what you feel. You will get a lot of support but nobody understands what you are feeling inside. Whatever you feel, you have the right to feel that. Sometimes you will feel strong, sometimes not, but be careful because I found that painful emotions were harder to fight than being in physical pain. Also, if I was being very emotional one day, I would have to stop and look at why. Usually it was because I overdid it and I was really tired.
-YOU MIGHT BECOME SO STRONG THAT WHEN PEOPLE SEE YOU THEY WILL SAY YOU LOOK GREAT--YOU MUST BE FEELING FINE. THEY ARE MISUNDERSTANDING THAT A GOOD ATTITUDE AND BEING STRONG DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE FEELING WELL
This might sound silly, but sometimes it would bug me, especially if it was a doctor who would mistake my good attitude for how I was feeling. If I lived the way I felt, my life would be too depressive. I think you will understand this as time goes on.
-YOU CAN STILL ENJOY LIFE, EVEN IF IT IS NOT THE WAY YOU ARE USED TO ENJOYING IT
Sometimes you have to give yourself some time to mourn your other life. But it does not mean that you cannot make a new life that is enjoyable with things that you can do. It does take time because you always think, "I used to be able to....," but when you are ready to do this, I think of it as living in the present and not in the past. I live with what I can do now not with what I could do then. You can still be happy even if you feel awful. You might have to enjoy it from a hospital bed or lying on the couch instead of going out, but there is nothing that says you have to be miserable. Having a good sense of humor has done wonders for me. Laughing at my illnesses and myself helps too. And laughing at the doctors becomes a survival technique; otherwise they can drive you crazy.
-MEDICATION AND WHAT'S HAPPENING CAN CAUSE DEPRESSION AND LACK OF CONCENTRATION
The meds and illness can cause mental changes like depression and lack of concentration- first thing to remember: there is no crime in being depressed- 2nd thing-sometimes (most times) it is not your doing but could be meds- just be aware of it.
-SUPPORT GROUPS, WEB PAGES AND CHAT ROOMS ARE A GOOD SOURCE OF INFO AND SUPPORT
Talking to people who have gone through what you are going through is one of the best ways to keep informed. Being informed takes the surprises and fear out of what is happening.
-WRITING YOUR FEELINGS IN A JOURNAL, OR POEMS, OR DRAWING IS A GOOD WAY TO LET OUT FEELINGS
Try it. You might be surprised.
-EACH STEP SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND AND KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON. SOMEHOW YOUR MIND AND BODY BECOMES STRONG ENOUGH TO HANDLE IT
You will be surprised how much you can handle
-BELIEVE IN YOUR FAITH
Most important
-YOU KNOW YOUR BODY. TRUST YOURSELF AND MAKE THE DOCTORS WORK WITH YOU.
If you know something is wrong or if you have questions, let them know. Keep a log.
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09-18-2010, 08:06 AM
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