Peggy - death is more painful for those left behind. The aching void of absence, impossible to fill.

Your words run so true! May I "borrow" them?
Thanks.

Peg

hey cs-
It's ironic this would be the day I get on this website, after not viewing it for the past week. My husband is in his hometown right now visiting his mother, who has a sister (my husband's aunt, of course) nearby who is dying (I am not sure from what). The aunt is in either hospice or a rest home; he couldn't tell me which. it was upsetting to him. he thought the staff was excellent and the place itself was really nice...but the patients were what unsettled him. It was depressing and horrible to him and he never wanted to experience that again. this concerns me, naturally.
At this point, I am still functional though many days I plan around my symptoms. As the weeks and months roll by, I can feel my body rebelling more and more and this short conversation with my husband yesterday needs to be addressed. If he's that freaked out by sick people not related to him, then seeing me slip further awway from him will push him over the edge. He's not a big conversationalist and speaks more with emotions than his head when it comes to family. I am the opposite, and with this illness definitely need clarificatinon. I have a DNR as well as legal healthcare power of attorney, but if I cant count on him to be my caregicver, i need to think of something else.
Suicide has definitely entered my thoughts, even recently due to depression, but it's not an act I'd entertain as an end. I definitely agree with harley to stay out of the assisted facilities as long as possible (or ever)..I'd take having a paid caregiver who knows what they are doing over a spouse/partner/family member who doesn't care or is unwilling or grudging in their care. Recently a close friend's father passed away from complications w/MS. He died peacefully at home and in fact had received the majority of his care in home from a paid CNA. This CNA was indispensible to this family and made every day more bearable. Red was able to pass with his family present, in his home, surrounded by peace, love and dignity. Definitely the way I want to go.