[Jim091866]

As I sit here tonight it has been about a month since I moved in here to the ALF. They take great care of me, it's like living in a hotel. They do the housekeeping, cleaning, laundry, 3 meals a day, ice cream socials, heck we even have a happy hour every Friday at 3 with wine coolers and beer/pretzels! Yet I am lost. I am still heartbroken at what my ex has put me through. She left and is out of state. Left the day we came back from vacation at Siesta Key. She just said she wants to get out on her own and try something new. She had met a guy online that she knew from middle school and wanted to go home and see "what was cookin"
(she is 42 y/o now). We were married for 18 yrs, divorced for another 8 but we stayed in the same house. I guess I should look at the writing on the wall. It is so depressing to think that I lost her, that she is gone. I go to bed every night praying that God will somehow bring us back together again. I know in my heart that she is the only one for me. I wake up and she is all that I think about all day. I can't see the few couples who are here in the facility without thinking about her. I miss holding her. I met a friend today who is waiting to move in here. He was diagnosed with ALS in February of this year. His only symptoms at that time were a dropped foot. Now it has progressed upwards to where his arms are useless. I know that the typical time period for that disease is 5 yrs from diagnosis to death. This makes me miss her even more, the thought of her not being in my life any more. I was very depressed prior to moving in here and I tried to commit suicide with a bottle of helium. I'm not that bad now but it is so depressing, I don't know how I will ever move on. I don't know how I am supposed to meet anyone, I don't drive anymore, I use a powerchair or wheelchair to get around and although this place is wonderful I just don't know, I just pray.. At least they let me move in with my dog. He is great. Thanks for listening friends.

Praying for you.

[paula_w]

my heart goes out to you. it was a cruel thing to do. that is happening more often now - internet breaking up marriages. people are leaving their spouses and children for 'new lives'.

is there a health club nearby? you need to keep your brain, mind and body occupied.

I will pray for you.

[olsen]

You are in my prayers, also. Do you get outside in the sunshine? Is your dog well enough trained to take on walks/wheelchair rides with you? Paula's idea is a great one to find a place to exercise. is there a pool nearby?
madelyn