[Bob Dawson]

OUCH… THAT HURTS

By Kate Kelsall, Den Mother to us all, at Shake, Rattle & Roll
(republished with permission)

I hadn’t realized that her words were still hurtful and that I had continued to feel wounded.

This past summer, I participated in an exercise class, led by a Physical Therapist and that was geared to people with Parkinson’s. In the middle of one of the classes, the instructor ran over to me, grabbed my right hand and said in her loud outside voice, “I hate that shaky right hand.”

I was shocked and without a quick comeback, responded in my whispery inside voice, “I hate it too.” There was a pause. She then said in a quieter voice, “you know you can stop the tremor, but just temporarily.” Of course, I knew that I could stop the tremor if I focused on it 24/7, but I chose to focus on living life instead of scrutinizing my shaky paw.

I took the coward’s way out and simply withdrew from the class. Being preoccupied with “ouch—that hurts,” I missed that teachable moment.
I wish I would have said to her that if she wants to work with people with Parkinson’s, she’d have to get over her hatred of the shaky hands of her patients. She would encounter a lot of persons with shaky limbs if she chose to specialize in Parkinson’s.

I would have told her that we also hated our shakiness, that we didn’t choose to be shaky, and that it was exhausting for us to attempt to cover it up from people like her.

I also would have said that her approach of singling me out for my shakiness was hurtful, not helpful.

I can’t imagine having this experience in an exercise class of everyday folks. As a result, I’ve decided to avoid exercise classes geared to those with Parkinson’s and only attend exercise classes for those WITHOUT Parkinson’s.

http://katekelsall.typepad.com/my_we...that-hurt.html

[Bob Dawson]

Kate,
I was once advised by a Parkinson's nurse that I should cross my arms with my hands in my armpits so people would not see my hands shake.
Like they used to force left-handed people to try to be right-handed, by tying their left hand behind their backs.

Wish I could've been there, to go back to the person who said this to you, and express my opinion that "bigotry" is aimed at anyone who is in any way different, and this phys. ed. teacher is in the wrong line of work, and she, NOT YOU, should have been required to leave, unless accepting to be educated about Parkinson's; unless halting the bigotry, unless understanding that singling you out personally in public was a move that none of us will tolerate in the future. This "physical therapist" came to hurt, not to help.
Feel free to e-mail my comments to the person in question.

[ginnie]

some people just can't deal with another person having difficulty or one who is different. My neighbor had PD while I was growing up. I learned what it was at a young age. I gave him lots of little kid hugs, which is the way it should be. When an adult acts insensitive, there is no excuse. I am sorry that happened to you. Let her be on the receiving end of the comment, and maybe she wouldn't act like that. How can she be in PT and act like that? My son is an OPT, and believe me, he would be fired if he displayed that attitude. Take care Bob, you are in my thoughts and prayers. ginnie