I saw a post today on my FB page where a very good friend of mine had to have surgery for testicular cancer. This was after his wife left him this past December. I sent a note to my ex because we were all close. I had testicular cancer in 2002. She left me in 2011. Her response was "OMG! That sucks!" My only reply was "yes but at least he doesn't have Parkinson's."

It is so depressing to be going on 16 yrs now with this disease. I am pretty much limited to my power chair or else I am falling because my balance is so bad. It doesn't even come down to being off or on. I can hardly stand up either way. Do you ever feel like somebody is trying to get your attention? I don't know what the lesson is in all of this. Tommorrow's day planner looks like today's which was a carbon copy of yesterday's. Wake up, eat, nap, eat lunch, watch some TV, eat and go to bed. I don't have a spouse or girlfriend in my life, can't drive to be able to go out and meet someone. At times I just want to hug someone, I don't even care about the sex. I'm not interested in porn or any of the other trash with people trying to "hookup with you." I just ache to be happy. Would someone please tell me what I did to deserve this? I had a career, took care of my family. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning and I hope it's not time to get up yet. I just want to go back to sleep, I'm not stiff and cramped up then, nor am I dyskinetic. Sometimes the dreams aren't so bad. I tell ya if it weren't for Duke, my Labrador and my little guy I probably wouldn't be here. I am saved, a Christian and I would not do anything to harm myself but the peace that I would have on my passing far outweighs this world. I'm ready to fly.