A smilee lesson for you- *wink aka



[img] http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/...mileys2/07.gif [/img]

that second one if the img's were closer it would work/ or maybe not havenot
checked on that for awhile dear harley...

have peace~

I spent the last two days smacking my finger everytime I was tempted to become part of this rukus. And I bet Steve an Carey were doing the same thing...maybe! And I know sure as shootin' that I will be stomped for the second paragraph.

What is this thread all about. It is about responsibility. Taking responsbility for ones own actions. Accepting responsibility for ones actions. Isn't that what we teach our children, to whom we are role models? A rule is in the Guidelines and it was broken (Peg posted a copy of the rule...pretty clear to me, too), the Moderator did his job and there is outrage. So, we then go about blaming BT for our actions and use BT as a pawn to punish the Moderator.

Then there is the use of the word "home" None of the Members who used it in this thread were the ones that stomped upon it in KimmyDawn's thread, but it is interesting that it has been used in this thread and seems to be an acceptable utterance.

Steve said: "I am at home here, and have no plans of leaving"

Carey said: "We feel it is our home - but, in fact, it is a home on view to everyone." and "I think we need to give Doc John a break and take him at his word that he is trying to build community and is open to suggestions. He doesn't have a clue as to who we are, yet he has provided a home base; we owe him consideration and explanation."

I am with Vicky and her comments. I attempted to make similar comments in KimmyDawn's thread, but I am not good are being articulate any more. I have written manuals, so I did once have the skill. KD's thread got so "out of hand" I deleted my reply completely.

And, what does BrainTalk have to do with anything and why does it continue to be used as a pawn to justify what happens in this Forum. BT actually has nothing to do with what is happening in here. That is HISTORY...leave it be. We now have this Forum and like anything in life it has rules/guidelines. Should we all dig into the guidelines and do a Wikipedia on them....absolutely NOT!

This forum appeared online one day and we all joined it, and I assume we all read the same guidelines. Now we need to stop the rhetoric and live with them.

Doc John attempted a bit of humor to break the tension in here and got stomped upon. Steve said: "As you now know, we are a tight knit community, and some of us have met each other..I have met 12 people on this forum..These folks are my hope, and have been my life preserver..I am forever indebted to them for showing me how to live a fulfilling life with this disease..The altruism and random acts of kindness are, and have been common place since I met these folks 3 years ago"

To me Steve statement is an example of what this forum is about we are each others "life preserver". I have not had the pleasuire to meet Steve, nor am I a member of the group that he feels "indebited" too.

While I may live an isolated life these days, this forum and my online work are all I have right now until I can have my car keys back again...LOL It is very sad for me to read this kind of activity in a thread day after day after day. What must the lurkers think when they read it? Is this kind of "discussion" why they never post or reply to anything? Is this not a "home" for them too?

There was a day when I needed this kind of forum as Steve does now, but I am past the needing and into wanting to help, but I find it very difficult to open a thread other than news, which is very sad. Anyone in this forum should feel, comfortable to post or reply knowing that at least one member will acknowledge them.

Personally, while I did appreciate the many, many words I received while I was recovering from my adverse surgical event, I do have to say that I get home empathy and support from my mental health community forums.

If anyone would like to trade place with my son...his email of the 25th read:

I am indebted to everyone here, including you, and those who havent found us yet..Everyone has contributed something to make my journey through life with pd easier, and I think its basically a two way street for all of us..I hope I have been able to do the same

Standing up for someone does not equal standing against anyone else.

Disagreeing with someone does not equal attacking them.

Being ignored happens to everyone and does not equal hostility.

Fault-finding and name-calling are sometimes cries for help, which is difficult to offer in the face of them.

Vicki and Carolyn, I will read your posts again to see if you are asking for something that you want or need from me today.

Jaye

Thank you for your post. Well said - I agree with you whole-heartedly.

Carolyn - yes, I was very hesitant to weigh in. At least from a count of the posters in this thread and in KimmyDawn's about creating a "home" (I just went back and re-read it), I am definitely in the minority - a position I don't often find myself in here.

I have been telling myself not to say anything more; but I figure if Vicky can stand up to the crowd and say the things she believes while flaunting popularity, then I can too!

I can figure out why the majority of those who have posted in these two threads are adverse to being "over moderated" because of past actions in another place. That experience was draconian enough to make anyone wary.

But the situation here is much different; the administrative response to objections when speech is deleted or locked has been to try to work with us to figure out a way so that speech can be heard. Far from trying to "fix" our forum, which I think most of us don't think is broken (and I don't think NT believe it is broken either), KimmyDawn's offer to make our "home" more comfortable was a way to expand conversation so that hot topics would have a place to play out. Wouldn't that be better than a swift and unexplained lock appearing? She should get mucho credit to even want to engage us in a conversation in the first place. But instead she got kicked.

And as soon as Harley complained, Doc John was right there - being very patient to listen to criticism, keep his humor, and do the right thing.

The thing that really baffles me is the tone of the posts, which in general is territorial, intolerant and scolding. The claim is "leave us alone - we can take care of our own". But the people who post here and read here are not "our own." And we are only "here" due to the good graces of Doc John and psych central; they would be irresponsible to leave us to our own.

This crowd is boisterious, wise, funny, compassionate, knowledgeable, and sick in the head (literally). And it is usually pretty good, at the end of a controversial discussion, at being able to agree about disagreeing. But having PD doesn't give us the right to be rude, ungrateful, and exclusive.

Carolyn was right - it comes down to responsibility. Especially the leaders and top posters. In-your-face challenges to the administration are not cool; there are better ways to communicate. The folks in charge at NT are to be commended for their ability to turn the other cheek and do the right thing while being slapped for trying to be helpful.

carey -

Much thanks for such an articulate response- to which I can only add - well said and I applaud you (and wish I could have penned such a terrific response myself).

same with others...i wasn't going to post. i AM a member here. i was a member here FIRST, before members nominated me to docjohn to be a mod.

i searched for help, information and support years ago because my father was having the absolute worst side effects possible from requip. i was scared. knew very litttle about pd. thought my dad was going to die. he sure wanted to.

i was welcomed. taught. given support and made friends. the help i got saved my father.

since that time i have spent years learning and helping people with pd. my husband and i own a health club. we offered to help people with pd from a kinda local group. got really no response, so my husband took it on himself.

he does personal and occupational type training for many people with pd. does sessions with their spouses too.

i was absolutly horrified when he called me yesterday to tell me about this thread. he had looked up the forum here with his clients. right there in the gym at the front desk. i had been so proud and have practily gushed with respect over the members here.

first thing he see's is the admin and mods being bashed for doing our jobs. for upholding the guidlines. bickering. he was beyond embarrassed and so was/am i.

so think about what you post. this is not a forum just for a close knit group of people who know and visit each other. i am glad you have, but this forum is for everyone.

the lurkers. family members. what about those who are in such a state that they can't post, but can only read? people that do not know how or are not interested in learning how to research the web, but come here because others do know how to do it. people looking for others they can relate to. to not feel alone or like an alian, because people in their real lives don't understand.

yes this is a home. a home base for many. but sadly there are so many who have now been turned off by this forum. that is pitiful.

i think we need to learn how to give each other the benefit of the doubt. there are obvious differences between a post written with tactful disagreement and those written out of contempt. the moderators do have purpose here and nobody should underplay their hard role of being referree. i have had that role, and it aint easy. you cannot please everyone and it is a rare occasion that moderators, such as john, try to see the whole picture.

as members of a forum, it is up to us to take the responsibility for our posts. often times we are in a set frame of mind when we write, and it may not be for a day or two that we begin to think.. oh oh.. maybe that should have been stated more elequantly. sorry my spelling sucks so badly here. there is nothing wrong with acknowledging we may have been too impulsive. john was a king when he did this with "i am human". that statement itself sums up so much.

it is also our responsibility to try and get over things and move on.. do we want to look for that shoe to drop? cmon guys... lets improve this place by lessons learned. i think we are all accepting enough and smart enough to grow through trials. after all, we do that daily living with pd

Thanks for this, Harley!

I too am human: dxd October 24, 1994 (symptoms first discovered by an Internist in 1988), Friday of that week, horrible car accident due to a young woman running a stop sign...18 months of recovery. I have suffered form Major Depression Disorder and PTSD since childhood due to verbal abuse from my bi-polar father. I also suffered the same from my husband and son. The latter of which was the hardest of all to endure. So, I frequent mental health forums for PTSD and Depression.

I have no memories of my childhood...zero!!...no holidays, birthdays, etc. I don't have a family member who has PD, and hope to never have such in my family.

I believe into my soul in Clinical Trials as the ONLY way for us to find a cure or something just a good. I believe the following:

It is only by following your deepest instinct that you can lead a rich life, and if you let your fear of consequence prevent you from following your deepest instinct, then your life will be safe, expedient and thin. -- Katharine Butler Hathaway

Curious, I am so mortified for your husband and his client having to endure this thread. How difficult that must have been for him to be put "on the spot".

Jaye, "Carolyn, I will read your posts again to see if you are asking for something that you want or need from me today." Absolutely no need for you to do this today or any day. At least not for me.

This is my last post to this thread. Personally, although the impact has obvously been made to the membership here...over 1,000 views to this thread...I hope that DocJohn will remove this historical document at some point...it is a poor reflection of the Forum and not good history for someone new to find now or down the road.