I'm honored you chose to express yourself here. Truly, I don't understand all of what you see....but personally I could use a little perspective..but, I'm not really wanting to go high drama.

You haven't cracked....forget that!
Paula

We're not like other online communities, and that's both good and bad. So unlike some online communities, I won't just let an "anything goes" attitude. I've seen too many vulnerable people get hurt in such communities, and while that may be fine for some, it's not fine by me. We're also not the kind of community that is all about controlling people, or having 150 rules you need to abide by. We have, what, 10? And most of them are fairly straight-forward and full of common-sense. Nothing on that list should raise anybody's eyebrow for a moment.

If everyone treated everyone else with respect and decency and treated them as they would if they were talking to them face-to-face, things would be easier. But sometimes we forget there are people behind these nicknames...

I do *not* see having to edit or remove a post, or suspending a fellow member, a failure of *our* "duties" here. I think it's disrespectful to suggest that just because this community has a *different* way of administering stuff than your community, it's somehow "lesser" or "failing." Really, it's simply two different ways of doing something.
Our duty is to provide a safe, supportive and reliable health support community, and we do that always with the utmost care and respect for the people who come here. People are requested to read and agree to the community guidelines before they even sign up here for membership now. And if someone crosses a line, we always PM them about the line, how they crossed it, and how, in the future, they could avoid having to cross it again (long, long before anyone is suspended). A lot of time, energy and effort is spent on these things, and anything of consequence is always discussed amongst the entire community team before any action is taken. A team comprised mainly of members like all of you.

John

I am so sorry to hear of your plight. IT sounds like my aborted attempt to take Permax. I could not keep anything down and what little i could eat stopped me up so bad...well really bad.....

You gotta believe their is an answer to your plight. Do something for your self, such as Yoga.
when you are up to your ***** in alligators, it IS hard to remember that your original objective was to drain the swamp!!!

The good news is that this too will pass, it always does.
It seems hopeless at times but it isn't.
Are you being treated for depression??
counciling and a antidepressant would help you get through this rough time in your life

big parky hug for you!
Charlie

very true, this is a one-dimensional medium

I hope this doesn't mean we are going to "give up" on folks just because they are disagreeable at first. Hell, I was an *** when i first started on BT!!! there is no right or wrong way to administer a group. every situation is unique and deserves some thought and discussion.
Just think " there but for the Grace of God, go I" then think about your course of action.

If i spelled that wrong i'm sorry,fell on my head,2 days in a roll,couldn't
fiill my darn feet and transfer and dang down i go...I have polyneuropathy's,
and 2 many years of other painfull things, mine and for year's other's
(truma er nurse)...Lately i sure hope i was kind,i know i whispered you
will be ok..But maybe i should of whispered your dying anything you
want me to say to friends ,loveone's..I like the rules here,haven't seen alot
or fellt alot coming at me..A now dear friend i met here told me to read it all,
i think were all different in illness and as people.. But regardless pain is pain
no matter what you have...Well i like most,if someone ticks me off,i'm
the one who turn's the computer off,or move on to something else. We all
have that right,at first i thought wow C. is a trouble maker,than i smiled
no more than you are...I don't care who put this together,i needed it
so thanks..I hope nobody hits the road,i'm not,i know who cares..Only
i do,just me...Many Blessings Sue For those who move along reading
someday they just might speak up,took me a long time to do it...

I "swore" that I would not become involved in this thread knowing full well that where there are diversities of personalities, there will be diversity of opinions that will invoke discussion/debate. This is a "given"...and a good thing in and of itself...even a learning/educational process that can evolve from such discussions/debates IF conducted civilly and courteously...and that means no diguised rhetoric, i.e.blatant disrespect toward another in the guise of "just my opinion". This reminds me of the phrase: "You're entitled to your opinion as long as it's the same as mine"!!! In the same vain, "You can't please all of the people all of the time"....Or, could it be as simple as to "agree to disagree" and stand by that? It seems to me that the most important thing for all of us to remember is that we are here to support...not to subvert...not to squelch. Sometimes, we have minds that are "set in stone"and this never allows for good, honest, sincere discussion/debate.
As for guidelines and monitoring the forum to assure that these guidelines (only 10 as John mentioned) are concerned, I cannot imagine a place like this WITHOUT these guidelines and WITHOUT those who administer and assure that these guidelines are followed. I can only imagine utter chaos. We all read these guidelines in the process of registering for this forum...perhaps hurriedly and without much thought as to the essence of what was being said in which case, a reread might be in order. I want to say on behalf of the moderators/administrators, here, that I have found that they have done...and are continuing to do a very good job to maintain a safe haven for ALL. Yes...they DO adhere to the guidelines, but John has clearly explained the exact method...what steps they take and for what reason...what one can do IF he/she needs to "dicsuss" a particular problem/situation...the consensus that takes place among the "team" before rendering decisions about any "posts" that might be counter to the guidelines, etc. Perhaps it seems all too simple to me, but from my perspective, how we conduct ourselves, i.e., with respect and decency toward each other is really the "key", here...and, I will just add that we all might do well to "hold back"...reconsider our "posts" (especially if/when very contraversial) BEFORE hitting the "submit"button!
I have given a tad more than my two cents, here, and it just may be that some could resent what I've said...especially in that I am a relatively new member at NT...I post rarely...AND I don't have PD but am the carepartner to a pwp...but, it seems to me that this should matter not in the grand scheme of this thread...but, still, you may ask: "Who asked her anyway"? I sincerely just want this forum to stay intact...to be that safe haven for ALL who come here for support on this PD journey.

Therese

...that a caregiver,NOT someone with the illness herself,has laid herself wide open to response on this forum.Your voice Therese is as important, if not at times,more so than ours.You carers give a wonderful,valuable insight as to how it is to be on the sometimes [not in your case necessarily] the receiving end of the hurts,the frustrations,the burdens of PD.How wonderful that you are fighting for this forum and I for one,wish to say a heartfelt thank you.We can all get so wrapped up in dealing with this illness that we forget about the pain and struggles of those around us. This is a wake up call.

As for the management here,I can only express my own personal gratitude...but that is not negating Harleys initial sense of disillusion.I don`t for one minute believe she had dishonourable intentions and it is uplifting to see how she,and Doc John,have resolved this conflict and have remained respectful of each other.Back to my support of the moderators When I threw my wobbly, [ugh] the unbiased support I received was second to none...both via pm and publlically.They remained neutral throughout and non judgemental,affording me the time to slip back on here when I was ready.No pressure,no condemnation,just patient,gentle and wise guidance.

Although I haven`t been compelled as of late to either start a new thread or add to one [I am fighting my own battle here back home] I know for sure I would miss this forum if it were to dissolve.Many a sleepless night would have been made unbearable were it not for the option of coming here,to join my "friends" and support system.Yes..this has been my major lifeline...a place where I could safely vent,wade through reams of information [if I were patient enough] share in the agonies and ecstacies of peoples lives,support or raise a smile where necessary.It has both afforded me the opportunity to both RECEIVE and GIVE....both fundamental to a hhumans purpose in life.

I have sometimes written and then hit the SEND button thinking "Oh you PRAT !" but have relied upon the understanding and patient nature of all who are onboard,to not make me walk the plank...because I have bombed.

Believe me...THIS is the single,solitary unique place where I can kick the cat off the hearth and not be hauled over the coals for it.For I cannot do the same back here in the so called comfort of my own home.
And my guess is,this just might be the ssame for many others.

Yes..this forum has peaks and troughs....jusut like life really....but at the end of the day...it is my LIFELINE..and so are the folk who are on it.

Thank you to all of you.
And Doc John..how nice to see the face behind the name.Can you pop in more often x There...have sent you a kiss.Now you can`t refuse that can you?

Love
Steff
x

I was just cruising "Who's Online" to see what people were reading and I came upon a moderated thread. Never heard of one of them before, so I naturally had to look. Wow. I knew I wasn't gonna post here. I watched the initial response to John's request for clarification, and couldn't believe it. Then I watched the tide shift and there was no reason to add my 2 cents.

But I was at BT when things were at their most chaotic. I was part of the chaos in that I was in a months long running battle with another member: I thought she was deliberately distorting my words and couldn't resist the temptation to tell her so. It got pretty ugly and finally JL hisself got involved. He literally told us both to sit down and shut up; I shut up and she didn't and eventaully got banned.

Looking back, I see that the disruption that battle caused was hurting other forum members, who hadn't come there to watch a war movie. I'm not cured, in fact, I recently saw one of my "shoot from the lip" posts deleted, and I was mad as Hell. Said so too. (Privately). Then I wrote a post that wasn't quite as openly frank.

Outside of the Ten Commandments, I don't think I've ever seen a list of rules I completely agree with, but I obeyed traffic laws when I could still drive, and I know that posting here is a privelege, and it is the one place I can get together with just about all my friends. These priveleges are so important to me that I try to stay within the rules.

Anyway, things finally settled down a bit at BT, and I think JL went from being too permissive to being too rigid and intolerant of any criticism. When it crashed and some of my friends told me about NT, I came over, felt more comfortable here than I did at BT, and I'm still here.

I think JL got too authoratative and it hurt BT badly. I personally think DocJohn went out of his way to be gentle when he asked for some clarification about the links, and those first responses were downright churlish. I got a little ****** at him for his later posts: I thought he should be somewhere between JL and being so willing to compromise once he understood that the links weren't recruiting posters. Instead of just saying that "Rules are rules", he still tried to reason with what I feel were unreasonable people. Maybe I'm just too crochety in my old age, but I'd have gone with "Rules are rules".

I decided to post when I saw how many Administration people were hurt by what happened here. I figure I've given mods (here and elsewhere), a fair ration of grief, and this is a good time to make a stand with them.

It may be that two posts about how great NT is and thanking the administration for making it possible, may look like evidence that I've mellowed in my old age, but I think its safe to assume I haven't seen my last PM from a mod; and I doubt these two posts will transform me into a "teacher's pet". I certainly hope not.

Meanwhile, a couple of people owe DocJohn an apology. He did not deserve the response he first got...Vic

Well Vicc I don't know you but that seemed like an exceptional post and you sound like you are responding kindly to being treated kindly. Gee what a new idea....haha. Why is it so hard to learn how to always do that?

And the older and yes sicker (I have never been in denial - been just about everywhere else including really confused and defensive and a little crazy really. IF you use that word kindly , the meaning of crazy becomes ok to use. - i just now made that up....but it's true IMHO- its an honest thought. But upon editing, I see not a complete one.....

So Vicc, I think you saw something we used to call disrespect. I did too, and am going to work hard at not having that come from me because it will ruin a forum and the next thing you know the site has been taken over by a drug company. This is truly an independent forum

And we want to keep it that way. It's a Gem.
Don't you agree Thelma?

KD I got your private PM about living in Hawaii; I have a good long one to write back....lived there a little more than 10 years, had my first baby there, married there. Editng to say: I got married first.. I swear.

...Paula

vicc.. trying to place you in bt?