I did not think my post was particularly positive. I just REFUSE to get that down in the dumps. You guys can do it to. I learned it from Joan.
You HAVE to do whatever it takes to give you a reasonable quality of life. There ARE options out there.
Count me out when it comes to pity-parties.
I am going to get as much out of everyday that I can. Its not easy, and I know that. I have a shoulder that needs replacing. I have apathy. Every day is a struggle, but there are good things about my life that I CHOOSE to fixate on.
You can live your life reasonably well, or you can go to bed and pull the covers over your head.
The choice, of course, is yours.

Charlie

It isn't that easy.

Dear Old CS,

I am sorry my suggestions came across as egalitarian and not sympathetic. It took 53 years to get to the point I am at, although certain attitudes I have are still the old me. I have reached the point of bottoming out even before I had been diagnosed. PD and Clinical Depression are very much the same side of a coin. I was the one who was forced to handle all the stress with raising the children, one who was brain damaged, repair the washer. Our closest friends, when my husband received a temporary position out of state, realized my predictament. Peter, my mentor Judy's, husband, pulled me aside after we packed the last box and taught me how to drive the rental truck as I had never driven a stick shift in my life. He gave me a talk about being the "man" of the family because my husband wouldn't or couldn't.

When I had my Clinical Depression, I was in my late 20's. I didn't need a diagnosis of PD to blame my depression on. Nothing anyone could have said, a kick in the butt, an angry chastisement, a gentle talk would only reduce me to more tears. If you are at the same point of life, try very hard to let your natural survival instinct take over. After six months of living in the basement infested with spiders and dropping 50 lbs. I couldn't afford to lose, I allowed mine to kick in and got myself to a phycologist and began drug therapy and counciling. You need both, because the drugs allow you to get much needed rest, so you will be able to cope with the feelings of self hate for not being strong enough, perfect enough, etc. that can be worked out with counseling. All humans have a tendency to kick themselves hardest when things get beyond their control. It takes a long time to learn that you have no control. No one has control because we all have to learn to live with other persons' needs. It is not until we learn this concept that we can stop the punishment of ourselves because we never will be the perfect person we believe we must be. We learn to stop fixing our inner selves to try to meet our perception of perfection and look to be helpful to those who surround us. There is alot of truth to the saying, "We are our own worst enemies!"

Sorry for offending or embarrassing you, Ol 'CS.

Love,
Vicky

When my family starts getting really nice to me about pd and starts asking a lot of questions instead of ignoring it - I'll know that I must look REALLY bad and will suspect that I am at death's door.

paula

Carey;

where did I say it was "easy"?? I didn't. It IS doable though.

Charlie

A proud grandmother was admiring the way her four-year-old granddaughter had dressed herself—until she got to the feet. "Why, honey," the grandmother said gently, "I think you've put your shoes on the wrong feet." The little girl looked down at her feet and then up at her grandmother. "But, Grandma, these are the only feet I've got!"

you have many things that you have been blessed with,
like for the biggest part - a family that loves you and protects you...

I must say that is something that - I did not get to keep.
have you ever wished that you were "loved" and "accepted"
as you are - by your wife?

Chasmo - not for everyone

1. if it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger......
2. you are never beaten til you give up. (or in to your PD)

Charlie

I’ve experienced the depression that comes with PD. And throughout my life, I have also experienced episodes of clinical depression where everything was bleak and the darkness overwhelmed me. The first and worst episode came about after a personal tragedy and lasted over a year. This was in the mid 1970s when there was a stigma about having mental health problems. For a year I could barely function. I gained 40 pounds. Finally I came out of it with no outside help. I have no idea how I managed to recover because there were times I didn’t know how I could even get through another day.

Looking back I see how desperately I needed professional help – but at that time it wasn’t done, and definitely wasn’t supported by my family.

I’ve had my share of “pity parties” since my PD diagnosis. Believe me, there is no comparison.

If you are someone who is so depressed and anxious, who can't get out of the house - if you read that it is all a matter of attitude, you'll just say, "what's wrong with me?" and pull the blanket back over your head.

Within the past 2 weeks, two studies have been posted in this forum about PD and depression. The first one concluded that some Parkinson's associated PD is difficult to kick, even with treatment. The other concluded that although a high percentage of people with PD are depressed, they are still not being diagnosed and treated.

There are a lot of folks out there who are suffering from depression. I do not want to give them the false impression that if they'd only have a better attitude, all would be well. Because that is simply not true. There are many avenues towards healing your mental health. Having a good attitude certainly helps - but if you can't even imagine what it felt like to be positive, to be told that is what is holding you back makes you feel even more defeated.

It works for you, Charlie - not for everyone.

We can't give advice in this forum beyond "this works for me" - please don't assume it will work for everyone else (even the suggestion that it might) - it's irresponsible.

p.s. edited to add that the only other valid advice we can give is "seek professional help."