I have always been an optimist in that I believe that the nature of man is essentially good. That view colors everything I do. But I was unprepared for the swift and terrible fall my life took three years after PD diagnosis. Lost husband, job, house, insurance, and savings in a span of 18 months. Although I suffered from depression (still do), anger was my greatest enemy.

Coming to terms with the anger I had about how PD had laid waste to my life was the key to understanding that only I am responsible for my happiness.

It took at least four years to finally truly believe that happiness is my choice. Two people were, and still are, important in helping me understand the nature of happiness. One is the Dalai Lama, whose book, “The Art of Happiness,” was given to me by my neuropsychologist in 2002 after deciding there was nothing more he could do for me. I was shocked, and felt abandoned (if you’ve seen my flash video, “Condition:Clognition,” you will recognize how I felt about this episode at the time – and it’s also a good example of seeing the humor in most situations!).

I felt isolated, that I no longer belonged anywhere. Through a google search on the term “belonging,” I was introduced to the work of John O’Donohue, an Irish poet-theologian -philosopher who touched me to the core, and taught me that, “It is through difficulty and opposition that we define ourselves. . .through the fog of forsakenness, a new shoreline of belonging comes clear.” As I became more and more involved in PD activism, I discovered the truth in his words that, “The most intimate community is a community of understanding . . . where you are understood, you are at home.” My PD comrades, my tribe, gave me comfort; the work we do dissipated and channeled my anger.

As the anger subsided through time, by taking action, and becoming comfortable with my new identity, my new reality, I decided to actually read “The Art of Happiness,” and was stunned by its simplicity and truth. His message is one of optimism. “The fact that there is always a positive side to life is the one thing that gives me a lot of happiness. This world is not perfect. There are problems. But things like happiness and unhappiness are relative. Realizing this gives you hope."

It had taken at least four years after I was given the book to finally be receptive to its message. And like all good messages of optimism, hope, and happiness, it doesn’t dismiss or underestimate the negative sides of life.

I still have episodes of tremendous depression; it’s part of my disease. But I no longer have anger. When I am at my most despairing, happiness seems far away, but I know from experience that it is still there, and will in time return to me, and I must continue the theraputic regimen I have designed with my doctor; depression is as chronic as the PD.

When I am simply in a bad mood, I know I have only myself to blame, and either allow myself to luxuriate in feelings of terrible misfortune (you gotta do it now and then!), or allow myself to laugh. The choice is mine only.

I make the distinction for those who read this post and all of the other posts that the despair that results from true depression cannot be wished away; it takes time, work, and maybe medication. So at least just keep living one day at a time.

I also wonder how often we fail to recognize our anger, and let it complicate coming to terms with our sadness and thereby finding a path to happiness.

http://theartofhappiness.com/

here is a link. they have a newsletter too. you can find the book used on amazon.

what a very encouraging and thought provoking thread, thank you.

For me happiness came when I learned the real meaning of acceptance and being content. Changed my whole outlook on life and led to so many positive changes for me.
I see my 18yo son with Tourette Syndrome plus Crohn's Disease applying this and have seen how it has really helped him rise above the challenges of chronic illness.

thanks so much for reminding of what happiness really is. I know that so many of you face challenges I cant even begin to imagine, and reading what you have written here has been an inspiration to me today.

Cheri