[proudest_mama]

Hey everyone,

I wish I had time to properly research this, but I don't. As usual, there's more drama going on in my house than I'd wish upon anyone.

* Just got back from a trip overseas with my husband - had a GREAT time
* All four kids home for the holiday
* Impending move back to Oklahoma possible in December
* Husband threatened divorce but then admitted that he needs me as a babysitter for child #4 (our son is a Freshman in high school) My "crime" - he found out that I gave child #3 $300 for rent when he specifically forbid me from doing so.
* Trying to get the courage to see a lawyer. Sad reality, I still love him
* Switched medications from Wellbutrin to generic Wellbutrin and now back to Wellbutrin
* Child #1 graduating from college in May (he's getting a BA in Psychology) but hasn't had a job for three years now
* Child number 3 dropped out of college
* Child number 2 is very, very strong willed (like her dad!) and can, in the drop of a pin, write me off "for life" .... until the hormones stablize a week or so later and she realizes that she needs me

Okay, can you spell s-t-r-e-s-s?

The reason I ask is because my dad became diagnosed as BiPolar at the age of 60. He's the weirdest case you'll ever study and no doctor believes me (I was present - it is true)

My dad eventually gets thrown in jail, sometimes gets hospitalized, but every time comes out without taking medication and is fine ...

Three years later "it's" back ...

Thrown back in Jail, gets better without taking medication and is fine ...

Three years later "it's back" ...

Ditto on jail, etc., but now, for the first time ever, is supposedly sober (I believe him ... his sister would let me know) It's been a year and a half since he was jailed and he was in jail SIX MONTHS this last time

Bottom line - I am becoming very, very eerily similar to my dad and I'm only 47!!

Question for you all -

Obviously stress plays a huge factor
And I do believe the medication change does as well

BUT does Parkinson's (itself) cause me to be manic and then paranoid,
Can any of the medications do this ... or
Am I a unique case and just happen to have Parkinson's?

I'm counting on you guys to help me out here! My next neuro appt. is December 6 so it's coming up. I also have a call in to resume seeing my counselor/marriage counselor.

Terri

[ol'cs]

First thing don't be embarrassed or afraid of anything you do; YOU are the one attempting to seek answers to all around you which seems awry right now. YEs PD can bring on some challenging behaviors, especially paranoia that has a funny way of proving itself correct eventually.
Try not to worry,as if yor hubby is worth that much then you'll get at least half of it. He is treating you like a real prick, and is using his financial "power" over you to get what he wants, but this always backfires, unless you just give in to him. IF you are physically afraid of him, go to the police and get a court order that he is to stay away from you. THe police know of such men and are usually, in this country, on the side of the woman.
US, your brothers and sisters in similar positions know the tricks that PD plays with our minds, and the only thing that we can do is ATTEMPT to understand how much is PD and how much is US. We will be thinking positively for you.cs

[proudest_mama]

CW,

Thanks for the kind words. Yes, in the end, I am my best advocate and am the only one who truly understands. That is why this website is so special to me.

First off, my husband is never physically abusive. Mentally - that's a different story!

I also have my family on my side. I've been talking extensively with my brother, my sister, and my uncle.

Interestingly enough, my husband just found out yesterday that we may be moving and he may finally get the promotion he has been promised since 1999. It's a long story, and I do give him credit for sticking it out as long as he has. I strongly believe that his unhappiness plays a role in the way he treats me. How much of a role, I'm not so sure. I'll have to pose that question to my family because I am too close to the situation to adequately assess the situation.

One of the comments you made, however, truly struck home - "especially paranoia that has a funny way of proving itself correct eventually".

It's the longest story of your life, so I won't bore you with details, but there are bugs around the house that, for the life of me, I can't get rid of. They go away for a few days and then become resistant to the chemicals that I treat them with.

Of course, my entire family thinks I'm CRAZY and that these bugs simply don't exist. It is soooo damn frustrating!!!

Well, low and behold, the dog is beginning to shake again and I saw my daughter itching, itching, itching her legs and feet last night.

Interestingly enough, I endured this same attitude for six months because neuro #1 refused to give me a Parkinson's diagnosis, looking both my husband and I in the eye saying that he couldn't give me a dx I "wanted" because he didn't believe I had it." This neuro actually had ME convinced ... for less than 36 hours usually ... and then I was a basket case again. This was only resolved once I went out on the limb and finally got the courage to go to Baylor. To this day, I have never received an apology.

But my siblings, my marriage counselor, my pastor, my four children, my husband, mother, etc., etc. were beginning to second guess me as well. Heck, I was beginning to second guess MYSELF!!

This same thing is now happening with these bugs.

My husband traveled extensively these past three to four months ... more so than ever in our 24 years of marriage. He was in Indonesia, Australia, Europe, Scandinavia and Canada.

I have no doubt that I will be vindicated and, by the time this happens, the entire house is going to need to be fumigated. Mark my words! All because someone refuses to take me seriously.

Thanks, again, CS - I truly hope that you have a wonderful holiday. You've always been around for us, lending an ear, some kind words, and some good ole' fashioned common sense and advice. I, for one, appreciate it.

[Curious]

terri

just a quick note....

are these mites? you can't really get rid of them yourself. you will need a company to come out and treat the whole house and all the duct work. we had neighbors that had this problem. she would think they were gone...and wham...the itching all over again.

since the pd and bipolar might not be related at all..what about posting on the bipolar forum here? let them know how you are feeling. they are an awesome group. very friendly and welcoming.

[stevem53]

I dont have a whole lot to offer on this subject, but pd has played some games with my emotions..I dont get depressed, but I get very sensative, and when Im stressed I get symptomamic and emotionally weird..Its hard to explain, but surfice to say, pd has definately changed me in those respects..I think the weirdest thing Ive experienced is, Ive been a fisherman for 32 years..Ive caught tons of fish in my lifetime, and I cant stand to watch a fish die now..The stuff I fish for now..(conch)..are still alive when I sell them, so it doesnt bother me..A couple of times I caught a fish or two in my traps, and I ended up letting them go, instead of taking them home to eat..

How do I handle stress?..Anything, or anybody that causes stress in my life now, has to go..In order for me to co-exist with pd, and live the most fulfilling life that I possibly can..I have to live in peace..I recoil from stress and toxic people like a hand on a hot stove

[Jaye]

I don't know anyone with PD who hasn't been through this to some degree--the misunderstanding of our cognitive raggedness (aka clognition) and our wildly varying energy levels. How to explain that our loss of ability to manage a dozen tasks at once does not mean we're criminally insane? "You think it bugs you?" one might respond, "how d'ya think I feel not being able to depend on my own body?" But in families where it's all been "about" one of the partners, I've observed, the loss of the customary focus on that person and the wandering attention of the PWP can be taken as a deliberate personal affront by the former star of the family show. I don't know that your relationship with your husband is like this, but the degree to which you all have to wait for his career decisions would, I guess, tend to foster some sense of self-importance. Another example would be a guy who has a hair-trigger bad temper whose wife is always walking on eggs to avoid irritating him, who chafes at her disabilities and takes her difficulties personally. Threatening divorce is a particularly nasty way of subduing another human being, and I hate to see it, but it seems like some people are too immature when they're married to understand what a "vow" is. They may feel justified because the changes in the PWP are perceived by them as the PWP abandoning or ignoring them. Marriage counselors and pastors have been known to misunderstand PD as well. Lawyers don't have to understand to do their jobs. So you will see your doc on St. Nicholas' Day; I hope you get a nice gift of understanding.

PM if you like.

Blessings,
Jaye

[Jaye]

It has been suggested to me that the above is a harsh post. Well, yeah.

Many years ago I was the elected coordinator of an older students' association of about 300 members. People who go back to school beyond the traditional age were unusual then, often running into marriage problems because of their desire to change their situation in life. Several of them told me their stories in a spirit of mutual support. It's a small step to generalize their experiences with those I've heard of in this community, and I have always, rightly or wrongly, sided with the person who's trying to get through a tough situation (I know that's vague but so's my mind). Family dysfunction is dangerous--people can get hurt. I don't think it's a bad thing to describe what the reality could possibly be for some people, but not necessarily (as I pointed out) for Teri or anyone else here.

Hopefully love will conquer all differences, as it has for some.

And maybe I'm all wet.

Jaye

[rosebud]

To comment on your father...I think anything is possible, even if it's not probable. This world is one strange place, and having PD makes it even stranger. Like Steve, I avoid stress like the plague -come to think of it, it is the plague! I am still married to my third husband, but do not live with him. Don't have the energy to divorce him, and as all relationships, it is a complicated thing (he is alcoholic which does not help...what an understatement!~). If I had continued to live with him I'm sure I would be dead by now...he is toxic. The space I now have is incredibly valuable to me and I would never live with him again. He has to accept my terms or he knows I will end the contact completely. Sometimes we have to look for non-traditional solutions to our problems. Thats all I'm trying to say. As for the bugs...well time usually proves things one way or the other. Don't poison anyone while trying to wipe out the bugs, call in the professionals for their opinion. This too shall pass. Say a prayer, write it down in your journal, take another pill, do whatever YOU NEED to do to survive. Only you have the answers for you. And on that philosophical but useless note I am going to go read a book, write in my journal. say a prayer and take a pill then go to sleep for awhile. Soon it will be tomorrow and I'll have a new day of challanges to face. Aaarrrggg

[EnglishCountryDancer]

Hang on calm down.What evidence have you got that you are suffering from Bi Polar like your father?Spending that amount on one of your children who needs it for rent seems a sensible thing to do(unless they are overspending on rubbish)Defying your huband is not a crime as you are not in a subservient position to him.......pity yuu could not discuss it.
Are you sure he meant what he said about divorce?Sounds like he was temporaliy annoyed.If you had a a good time on holiday and you love him it does not sound like your marriage is in serious trouble.....all marriages, even the best, go through blips.This is a bit cheeky and personal but going by your name and by his reaction to you giving money to your child do you think he feel he is playing second or even third fiddle to the children and that is why he is threatening divorce? Can you talk it through with a good girl friend ?I am 65 and have no illnesses that I know about. When I was under severe stress in my 30s I started behaving in very odd, out of character ways and I did not have the pressure of P.D or four children (enough stress in itself)

[EnglishCountryDancer]

I do not know what your husband is like,only you know if he is a verbal bully.