I tried logging on to the Brain Talk chat and was not successful. I decided to try here.

Our youngest son is more than likely doing prescription drugs (Xanax, Elderol, Ritalin, etc.) Husband in complete denial and refuses to let me do a drug test on the kid. Other three siblings in college and have TOLD dad to let me, but it was easier to drop it.

Do any of you know where I can go to ask questions?

Thanks, guys, as if my life isn't complicated enough ..

Terri, you've sure got your hands full! ((HUGS)) to you from one teen's mom to another.

I'm not sure what questions you want to ask, but I think I would start with his school counselor. The counselor should be able to help you with what are signs of drug abuse, give you resources for where to get help for him if necessary, talk to teachers about any changes they may have observed, and just generally be a shoulder to lean on. Your family doctor is another good resource.

Do what you think needs to be done. Your mom radar is obviously picking up on something and after 4 kids, I'd say your radar is probably pretty accurate.

Addressing this issue will be incredibly tough on you, especially without your husband's support, but it could "save" your son in so many ways. God bless.

I am NOT giving up because of my husband. I plan to go forth and conquer! Too much is on the line here, but ... mark my words ... it IS happening.

The newest drug ABUSE use available to teens is prescription drugs. After suspecting this for awhile now, I talked to the school secretary where my son attends and was told what to look for. Get this: they slice their tennis shoes just above the sole, carve out a "well" of sorts where the drugs can be stored ... and guess who has such a slit??? Worse yet is that whatever he's using costs $2.00!!

Then they use a deodorant stick and somehow manage to store them in there because .. surprise ... deodorant sticks are (of course) allowed in school.

Thursday a.m. he asked for a new deodorant stick and I watched as he checked to make sure that it had the "correct" bottom of sort.

And, to add even more "suspicion" to the case is that he was given Saturday school because he was "rough housing" in the hall and was late for class. This class just "happened" to be PE ... the one subject my son was ADAMENT that I not sub in.

Coincidence? One or two, maybe. Not all of the above. AND ESPECIALLY THE SLICE IN THE SHOE.

The hard part is that it's Saturday and I'm impatient. I want answers NOW ... patience was never my strong suit, but God has a reason. I sure wish I knew what??!!!

I still have my faith and sense of humor ... NO ONE CAN TAKE AWAY EITHER OF THOSE!

go to cvs or walgreen's and get a home drug test kit. make him take it.

post on the social chat terri. it will reach more members. and on the recovery forum.

I was told that the drug store kits won't test for these type of RX drugs and, in fact, if he has a commercial test done that I would have to designate that they test for this, too, since it's out of their "normal" drug testing.

I will post it at those other locations, though ... thanks for the heads up.

Been there/Done that!

My oldest son was doing drugs in his Father's house while the younger two were still living there. He was in his late twenties and earned money by posting his naked body on pay per view web sites. His youngest brother, still in school, called me from their Dad's house to tell me about it. I went straight to their Dad's house. I didn't search the house. I immediately called the police and allowed them in the house to search my oldest son's room. They discovered drugs and drug paraphanalia, and took him away.

Sorry, but this calls for tough love. Give him a taste of how it feels to be distrusted by calling the police. Show him that if he wants to continue living at home in YOUR house, he must follow your rules. Better now, while he is young and impressionable. More likely when he sees he can't pull the wool over your eyes lie or hide things from you, he will straighten out his act. Teach him that trust is earned not a right.

I watched my oldest son be handcuffed and taken away. He was not allowed back home and bummed around from friend's house to friend's house.
He refused to talk or have anything to do with me for five years. He lost his car, got kicked out of the home he was staying and asked his Dad for a ticket to Florida (we live in Minnesota.) He stayed with his best friend from High School (His best friend took him on despite the fact that I called and warned him that Robert had changed and would use him.) They both got kicked out after 3 months because my son sat home and played video games all day and didn't have his half of the rent. I kept in touch with him and told him I loved him but not his behaivior. When they lost the apartment, I found out from his friend my son had finally found work at a gas chain of small stores. I called all the ones in his area and tracked him down. He was homeless and living in the woods. He finally called me one day and said he couldn't stand it anymore. I contacted his dad who bought him a ticket back. I walked him over to a local technical college and enrolled him in truck driving. He finished and is doing great as a over-the -road truck driver. Our home is his home base and he pays his step dad about $1,000 a month for the privledge. It's been working well for two years now.

Our students in the public schools are being taught to distrust their parents. They are indoctrinated as to their rights and brandish that information to rule at home, threatening their parents with child abuse laws. We are trying to hard to be our children's best friend rather than their parents. We allow them to lock us out of the room they reside in in our houses, and buy them cell phones to enable them to build a network of childish friends. They are allowed all rights and no responsibilities. I am so sorry for your situation, but it looks like you are the only adult in the home and the only parent. Teach your son right values by doing the right thing. Get the police involved.

Vicky

How old is he?
Have you talked to him? Calmly, if possible.
The shoe slit thing and deodorant bit sounds more like a desire to be cool than a serious drug problem. So do the drugs you mentioned. So, you may have a dumb 14 year old trying to be accepted by his peers rather than a 17 year old junkie who is going to seal your car. Different responses required.

Forget the drug kit and don't call the cops unless somebody's life is in danger. The sad truth is that the police are not necessarily our friends and things could go horribly wrong. Talk to him. Good luck.

The child in question is 14 physically and 21 mentally because of his older siblings (22, 21, 20) and I am NOT kidding. This means that he relates to more mature kids than most and, I'm afraid that the "good, naive" kids don't interest him. They're just too babyish for him.

Be assured that I have some of my ducks in a row, but don't want to put too much on paper because I think he reads my messages by browsing through sites like this.

More is suspected than even I knew.

Thanks for everyone who continue to contribute. I really do read all of them!

And, son, if you're browsing ... watch it ... I'm on to you and it's NOT going away. LOL

I am with Rick in this --getting the police involved can lead to unintended consequences, such as having a record that would prevent your son from obtaining licenses to earn a living--ie real estate licenses, etc. have you a friendly pediatrician of whom you can ask advice?