what would you say to your family if they wanted to put you in assisted living, not giving you any options?

I would first insist that they fully and completely explain to me why they want to do this. I would try very hard to listen with my ears and heart, and not my head and emotions.

I would hope that they had not made the decision lightly, but had held my personal safely and needs first. Not their issues with my being unable to tolerate me being in their lives any longer.

I have been having my own challenges lately...hard time paying my bills correctly and on time (always a month of two late), poor spending choices, driving issues, not keeping my home as clean as I should (wishing I could afford to pay someone to do it for me as my neighbor is able to do), see my in own cognitive decline escalating and knowing my family can see this happening. I will stop there.

I don't know which is worse, to not be able to see the decline or to see it and know I can't do anything about it.

If I was still able to take care of myself, Id tell them to go pound tar

My husband is having a harder and harder time accomodating my quirky behaivior. He wants to join groups to play with and I am alone all the time. I forget to take my pills on time, am only able to clean one room at a time and then am totally out of breath and will sleep for 5 hours. I recently had a biopsy of my thyroid gland as the endocrinologist I saw found a marble sized lump in it. The stress of waiting is very hard when you are alone as much as I am.

My husband tries hard, but when he snarls at me like he did the other night, I get frightened. I have even suggested we start looking for a nursing home but her won't hear of it. He still expects me to shovel out the driveway even when I ask him to help me. He also lies about finances.

Caroline, I am with you. He feels by placing me in a nursing home he is failing me as a caretaker. As far as I am concerned, if he is finding it too confining to spend time with me or help with simple household chores, I would rather be somewhere where I can get help when I need it.

I believe I would look at it as an opportunity to mingle with others like myself and meet new friends. But I must admit, I am also very bad with changes in my routine. And the thought of a roommate is not appealing. I like my personal space.

Is this and issue for you or are you considering it? If your family is forcing you to do that you are not ready for, I would contact a County Social worker in your area to find out what your rights are or if it is actually within your power to stop them or reason with them. I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult time. My prayers are with you.

Love,
Vicky

I hear you Steve, but some of us know and can see this as a close-to-home possibility. So, I have taken Harley's post a bit more seriously.

Hello friends,-- what kind of life are we expecting to live as time goes bye and our mind has become a stranger ?
Today they are searching for a 61 year old woman who are missing. They have found her car on a parking place in the Forrest, lots of snow and wind the last two days, - I was thinking, yes - that would be nice , if I should" loose myself ", walk out in the soft snow and be in the nature.
This is not a sad thing for me, the worst would be to sit in a chair ,feeling lonely, confused, forgotten and a burden. I know this is depressive thinking , but I love to be alive and I do not trust my children, they don`t understand my life and my suffering with PD.

I feel sorry for all of you, and I am glad that we still can have good times and sing, dance and have a glass of beer with our friends.

Annelise

... and God will take care for tomorrow.

Well that is a problem for us all and no one is going to take care of it but ourselves less we lose our voice. Sometimes I wish someone else cared enough about me to make that decision and let me off of the hook as deserting anyone.

It's a lot easier to be pushed than make a decision to leave.

Dharley,

I have pondered this question,you like how that sounds?, anyway more to the point. I guess i feel that i was not given the choice of having yopd however our caregivers do. i do not know who in your family is comming to this however if it was my children and i do have two and yes i may coe to this same situation...I would take previous advice and listen to reasons..and as i tell my children listen with both ears.. Life as we know is hard for no reason at all and if i could make my caregivers life easier i would.

I may not go to a home....try home care or pack up grab sails head for open water..not really sure....i do believe with faith and understanding no matter what happens it will work out..you never know it may help to ease burden and allow your family to grow closer.. i also belive everyone carries something we just happen to carry Parkinson's, and i'm sure you have gained much wisdom because of this...use it to help not only your case,but to help your care givers.

I'm sorry if i rambled...i do that sometimes...my thoughts and prayers are with you as move through this.

Be well
Eric aka kman

...I would call my lawyer and make it clear that if he or she didn't hear from me on a defined schedule that he should start looking.

Then I would sit down and think of my options, assuming that I had some. Is it possible that outside help could be an approach? Could you make it if you were living alone with such help?

I have long maintained to my friends and spouse that if they one day find me dead lying in my kitchen floor in a puddle of my own filth that they should give a great shout of joy as that is my desired ending. Each of us certainly has their own vision, of course. But we should make those decisions ourselves to the extent possible.