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Member aka Dianna Wood
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 736
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Member aka Dianna Wood
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 736
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Comic Relief
NEW FORUM POLICY  - Dress Code:1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we'llassume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need araise. 3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better,so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need araise. 4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be andtherefore you do not need a raise. Sick Days:We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. Ifyou are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. Personal Days:Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are calledSaturdays & Sundays. Lunch Break:Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, sothat they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal tomaintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the timeneeded to drink a Slim-Fast. Bathroom Breaks:Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper rollwill retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the companybulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under thecompany's mental health policy. Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide apositive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations,irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations,contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere. The Management JUST KIDDING!!!!
Vicky
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02-06-2008, 02:16 PM
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