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10-16-2006, 02:03 PM | #1 | ||
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I hesitate to bring this up ... a complicated issue, easily misunderstood.
For backstory - click here Reading that previous post, you'll understand that I'm well within the description for DBS surgery, but not suicidally desparate. My quandry ... (For the previous 3 years) I live on a generous amount of monthly money from Social Security Disability and a disability annuity from my former employer. A nasty (and distasteful) Catch-22 arrises in my poor worried brain ... what level of effectiveness from my upcoming DBS surgery will cause me to feel that re-entry into the work force is the right thing for me to do? Given the wide range of DBS outcome possibilities, (that will also vary over time) this is a difficult issue to come to grips with. As an untrained laborer, (30 years on a factory floor) the chances of finding employment that would pay anything close to what I receive now are really zero. Add to that my $520 monthly car loan payment that is being paid for me by a loan insurance company and that my wife will soon go from $450 clear a week to $100 ... and the picture darkens. This all upsets my thinking and attitude towards the DBS ... What if the DBS is a roaring success, initially? (and then turns ugly?) What if the DBS leaves me "close, but no cigar" ... say a 60 - 80 % improvement? I feel like I'm in a horrible situation of rooting against myself ... to maintain my comfortable financial status quo. Please. If you choose to comment, consider carefully. MikeTTF |
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