I'd speak with your dr about a meds adjustment or change.

And also print out a few of the medical articles and give or send them to your niece, saying you are very sorry and will work with the dr to find a medication so that something like this never happens again.

Depending on the age of the niece I'd be very careful from a legal standpoint also. {adult vs minor}

------------------------------------------------------------------------
mucuna improves sexual performance...zoloft kills libido for some.........
dr mercola reports soy causes excessive arousal; one patient said it took l5 orgasms to get relief.

davos
dx 2000
age 72
pd stage 2.5

Morning all,

First to tell you, my niece is an adult and last night I took your advice and emailed her this link, hopefully it will help her understand what happened and can eventually forgive me.

The drugs I'm on are PMS-PRAMIPEXOLE 0.25MG X 2
APO-SELEGILINE 5MG X2
APO-LEVOCARB CR 200/50MG X4

I see my Uero this Friday, I'll let you know what takes place.

thanks again for your support

Claude

Pramipexol is a generic Mirapex. That is likely the culprit. But don't assume anything. Your on a very low dose, so it could be getting a boost from either of the other two drugs your on as well. I take 3 mg of pramipexol a day and apart from a burning urge to buy a lot of shoes....I like to think I'm doing fine. I have a limit on the number of pairs of shoes I allow myself to buy each month, and I have a dollar limit too. My neuro thinks it's harmless enough not to be a concern. Of course he doesn't live with me and my shoes all over the house.

You are very brave to share your story with all of us. It's certainly not the type of thing that people are open about. You never know whose life you are touching, but my money says there are a few others who have read this thread and can relate to it, and they are more than relieved to know that behavior that may be causing great shame or guilt is not a reflection of who they really are, but due to brain chemistry gone wrong.

No judgement here. "There but for the grace of God go I." should be the mantra of any one of us. Thank you for sharing a very personal experience.
Don't forget to forgive yourself after the forgiveness of others is sought.

Wishing you love, peace and strength for the journey.

Rosebud,

Thank you for the well wishes, it's nice to know that we have people that understand what I'm going trough.

I don't think of me as being brave, I think of me as reaching out to anybody that would understand that it wasn't really me writing that email, it was some drugged out old man. I could never ever knowingly hurt her like that.

This place is a life saver, you people are the only people that I've told this to because I knew someone would understand.

I sent a link of this place to my niece and she opened it, but she to this day hasn't communicated with me, not one word and it's killing me.

Don't forget to forgive yourself after the forgiveness of others is sought.

How do you forgive yourself if the other party doesn't forgive you?

I thought she knew me enough to understand that I was not in my right mind when I did what I did, I guess I was wrong.

I can only hope that someday she will realize that when you're on drugs, you fight everyday to stay sane and fight to keep control. I know you good people understand what I'm talking about.

Rosebud, you have your shoe addiction and I can understand the struggle you undertake every day not to buy other shoes. You said your doctor thought it was funny, maybe to him, but to you and all of us that have this affliction, the struggle to not act on our impulses is a tremendous challenge. Everyday, it's the same thing only some days it worst.

Again many thanks to Rosebud and all the other wonderful people that have wrote me to show support, I don't know what I'd do without you good folks.

I just hope that someday I'm able to help someone else that needs understanding of what can happen when you take drugs, prescribed or other wise.

thank you, my friends and may you all keep well.

Claude

Claude: I don't know your niece, but I can relate to her experience. The end of my marriage came when my husband (who is alcoholic) substituted his alcohol for cough syrup, and in one of his drug induced states tried to rape me. My meds were off and I went into a state of overdrive that scared the hell out of me and him. He backed off and grabbed his jacket and left. I was traumatized and cannot remember what happened for about 12 hours after that. I did know I had to get out of there. The next day I left, and did not return. He went into a rage that almost landed him in jail. He threatened to burn the house down. When he came down off the drugs he insisted he had not hurt me and that I was overreacting. This only added a darker shade of grey to his previous actions. Eventually he admitted his wrong and was remorseful. I did forgive him, but I understood that he did not fully understand me because he had violated a trust that is not a part of the act of forgiveness. It is essentially the same problem married couples face when one of them cheats. The act can be forgiven, and even love can be restored, but the trust must be earned back. The breach only heals with time. That is the price to be paid, and that is outside of our range as mortals. (at least speaking from my experience.) I knew he was genuinly sorry, and he did all he could to express that. I accepted his soulful expression of sorrow for what he had done, but I could not restore the trust. Only God and time could do that. Sometimes a lifetime is not long enough.
I know that sounds unfair in a situation where you were taking a drug that a Dr. prescribed for a disease that is no fault of your own. Do what you canto make amends. If she choses not to forgive you, that is her choice and SHE has to work that through for herself. Do not confuse lack of forgiveness with broken trust. Lay your true sorrow at her feet, then wait. If you truly love her and have made your best effort then you have done your part. If she never forgives you then she is chosing to carry around garbage and you have no control over that. Do not let her lack of forgiveness after a reasonable amount of time weigh you down. I cannot say what a reasonable amt of time is. I can tell you that broken trust may never be repaired in this lifetime. There is a reason for every experience in life. One day you will benefit from this if you do all you can on your part to deserve forgiveness. Welcome to the doorway of a spiritual journey that will last the rest of your life should you chose to travel it well. And yes you probably will be extending a hand to someone who needs it one day. Maybe someone who will be in a very similar situation....after all there are no new mistakes...someone has made all of them before and many will make them again in the future. Thats it for me tonight....gotta put my soapbox away...
love ya....stay strong and get your meds fixed!!!

Hi Rosebud,

I hope that your not comparing the act of almost being raped to an email letter. I think, if I understand you correctly (please correct me if I'm wrong) You're trying to show how my niece feels now, since I sent her that email. When I woke up that morning and realized what I had done. I knew right away that I had lost her trust and that I might never get it back. I emailed her again and admitted what I had done and ask her to forgive me. I tried to explain why I had done this and I don't think I did a very good job of it because I didn't understand it myself. I told her I was sorry for hurting her and that I felt really bad about what happened.

I then did some researched about it. I knew in my heart that I would not of done this to my niece (the girl I love like a daughter) had I not been under the influence of drugs. What I learned that taking Parkinson's drugs a person could and would (in some instances) do just about anything and not be able to control it. I found an article where a man in Ontario was acquitted of being a child molester because he had Parkinson's. I can't remember if was the Parkinson or the drugs but he was acquitted nonetheless. I also found other articles of Parkies having weird addictions, like your shoe purchasing.

I emailed her all the articles I had found and again asked her forgiveness and nothing. I haven't heard from her since I sent the first email. I realize that I hurt her tremendously and I was hoping that she would talk to me about it but she chooses not to, so I have to respect that and Hope that maybe someday, she'll learned to forgive me. So I've resigned myself that she won't and I have to move on, but I can't. She's in my mind everyday, every minute of the day, I'm in living hell and I guess that's the penalty for what I've done.

Please (and I don't mean to sound disrespectful) don't throw God at me, because I'm an Atheist. I believe in the spirit of a person and what's inside them that makes them good or bad and it's not God, that's all I'll say on the subject. A heck, I changed my mind, if it makes you feel better to talk about God to me, go ahead I can take it, after all, it's not all about me, I just realized. Sometimes I'm all little thick.

I enjoy hearing from all of you and I hope you're all keeping well.

for my niece
I'm sorry (I'll never stop telling you)
I love you
Unc C

I couldn't find a reference to God in my post....did I miss something?
(oops, yes I did...didn't mean to preach)
Your actions created a reaction in her. Your niece is feeling betrayed. Betrayal by someone loved and trusted is a knife that cuts deeper than any other. My story is just to illustrate my point, not a comparison. Human relations are very personal and unique in each of us. May I suggest you send a beautiful bouquet of flowers with a short hand written note asking for forgiveness. There are times when e-mail just doesn't cut it.

"Forgiveness is the scent of the violet left on the heel that crushed it"
Marke Twain (I think)

Give your niece time... It may take a month or even longer for the shock & embarrassment of it all to not be so "fresh".

Time does heal..
... maybe she would prefer to let it all just fade into the back ground and forget that it happened.
You apologized sincerely and sent the relevant info to her, now you just need to wait and see how it goes.

Rosebud,

You sound offended and again I'm sorry. I don't mean to offend but it seems I always do. I have the greatest respect for you for sharing your terrible story with me. The fact that you would share your story with a complete stranger to help me is a tribute of how good a person you are and I hope that some day I can follow in you footsteps, for helping people.

I never met you, but I can feel the love your you have for everyone. You my dear, are a special person and I love you for what your are doing. (I hope that doen't sound to brash) but I think you know where I'm coming from.

My niece and I love her deeply and I now realize how much I hurt her (thanks to you my dear) I now realize that I have to give her time to heal. I think I will let it go for now and hope that someday she may call me her favorite uncle again.

Thank You or all you comforting advice
love to all of you

and to my favorite niece
love
Unc C