Parkinson's Disease Tulip


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Old 11-08-2006, 09:44 PM #1
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Default Dear Abby - Kids

I'm 31 one year past PD diagnosis. My wife and I have always thought about having kids but now I'm not so sure. I suppose if I'm gonna, the sooner the better.

What do you guys think?
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Old 11-09-2006, 07:10 AM #2
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Default Hi RD42, (these monikers, I shall have to replace ...

Aftermathman with my real name soon) ..

I was dx'ed at 40, so not at your stage of life but not a million miles away.

This question is so difficult to answer as a decision to have kids is a private one between two people, (hopefully !!).

There are financial, relationship, practical issues to consider and PD is just one more thing to think about.

All I will say is that I have found my kids remarkably accepting of my PD. They help me when I ask, (e.g. going to the store, I hate packing the bags), and seem generally unphased. Considering they were 10 and 12 at dx, they were old enough to know what it meant but still adapted brilliantly, better than some of my adult friends.

Recently my eldest got upset when her school showed a video on PD during a Biology lesson, but that is an exception.

In my experience kids adapt and remember any new ones will not know differently. Also at 31 you shouldn't give up on living a life, you get 10 years from the drugs, more from DBS and by then, who knows ??? (you may be dead knocked over by a bus).

Hope this helps and I stress non of the above is any recommendation one way or the other for your decision, that is one only you can make.

Take care,
Aftermathman
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Old 11-09-2006, 09:43 AM #3
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Default Kids.....

and PD. A very good question!
By all means don't let PD derail your life willingly, but don't be surprised if it does anyway, it has a habit of doing that, all the more considering how bad you get and how quickly you get that way.
I was 39 when dx'ed, had my 3rd child born two years before DX. There has been much degradation in my condition from 10 years ago. The younger one has never "known" dad without PD, my daughter was five and my eldest son was seven when i was dx'ed. My eldest is bitter, as is my wife; my eldest because he is mad that he never got the full advantages of a "healthy" father, my wife because she has had to pick up so much of the slack left in the wake of PD. WE used to work as a team, me working days, her working nights, and me taking care of the kids at night. Lets just say that it was a sad day when the grass didn't get cut unless she did it. That just about wraps it up for most aspects of the middle class life, where it takes a healthy team of mom and pop to properly raise childen. Now, if you are well off to begin with and/or have a lot of extended family to help pick up the slack. PD may not interfere as much in your life as it would in someone else's under less optimal fortunes.
I never regretted having kids, I only regret that I could not possibly give them a "normal" family life. I went for sinemet right away, to get 6 more years of earning a wage, before I retired. This was a "life-saver" for our family as far as financial matters went. And I made sure, at the very first sign of PD , that I was fully covered with life, disability and long term care insurance. That is something that I have preached on this blogg for many years. IF YOU HAVE KIDS, YOU MUST BE FULLY INSURED, not for you, but for them. Kids take tons of dough to raise properly in today's world. If you want to give them a fighting chance to get an education or a vocation, you don't want them having to start working at age 8 to buy their own toothpaste .
And as your children grow older, the more they demand in both physical and mental care. So, things might be OK in an early DX with one baby, but if you have more than one, the demands palced on both you and your spouse can be daunting. I'm hardly good for anything anymore expect sitting with my young one when my wife is working, helping a bit with the tons of homework kids are shouldered with these days, and if I'm having a really good day, do some cooking.
I think that you get the idea rd42. THe more that you MUST do with PD, the more likely that you are going to be stressed out, and stress is extremely bad for us. It can wreck a relationship in a second, even with two well meaning, dedicated parents. So, look ahead, take stock of your proposed future and look at how much children need by looking at other families.
And if PD has a genetic component think about this; none of us can be certain that there will be a cure for PD within 30 years. If my parents knew of my destiny, I would hope that they would have acted accordingly and not bought me into this world of suffrance. Life is good, if you are healthy and of sound mind, not so good if you aren't.
It's a very personal thing. You'll be suffering overtime if you have too many children and not enough of you and your wife to go around. So that's about it, don't be swayed into not having kids if you think you are up to the task (totally committed). It CAN work, and CAN be a very satisfying life action. Children are the most beautiful things in all the universe, on the scale of a marriage between two people. cs
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Old 11-09-2006, 08:50 PM #4
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Default yes

Yes, most definitely. Children are such a blessing! There is nothing like having your own.
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Old 11-09-2006, 10:42 PM #5
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Default

I keep answering your question with lots of wise crap about PD and kids, and then deleting it. That's one tough question. My kids are 19 to 24, and I know more about raising kids than what it's going to be like to have had PD for 10 or 20 years. They take a hell of a lot of energy, time and money, and I can't imagine not having mine.

I was clueless about kids when our first one arrived. The only little ones I knew were two perfect little girls. I was a bit shocked when our normal one arrived and cried and woke up all night long, etc. Then the youngest one arrived - his mission in life was to make sure that I was a humble parent, for awhile survival, not bragging, was the name of the game. Make sure you are in touch with the reality of kids of all ages! Mother Nature makes sure that we're hard-wired to want kids no matter how ridiculous the idea may be.
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Old 11-10-2006, 01:44 AM #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rd42 View Post
I'm 31 one year past PD diagnosis. My wife and I have always thought about having kids but now I'm not so sure. I suppose if I'm gonna, the sooner the better.

What do you guys think?
Dear rd42,
I had hypoglycemia before my dxd with PD, I have had a tremor caused by low blood sugar since I was 17, and babies are hard work, but life is not fun
without work or play, and here is my son and I - he was born in 1985,
he is now 21?
small photo - for you & your wife to decide...
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pd documentary - part 2 and 3

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Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant with the weak and the wrong. Sometime in your life you will have been all of these.
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Old 11-10-2006, 06:40 AM #7
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Default cutie

He's such a cutie, TenaLouise!!!!!!!

Come on rd42........do it!!!!!!!
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Old 11-13-2006, 11:31 AM #8
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Thumbs up Have children right now

My Dad was diagnosed with Parkinson's 5 years ago. With hindsight, he had been showing the symptoms of it for 10 years previous.

Me and Dad have always been close and always got along well, but too my surprise we have become closer as a result of his Parkinson's. Before Dad had Parkinson's I was a lazy loser, now Im running the "A to Z of Marathons" next year to raise money for Parkinson's. Although I am desperate for Dad to be cured of this disease, there has been som epositives come from it.

Parkinson's changes the lives of not only the people who get Parkinson's, but also their families and friends. If you have children, they will be more sensitive, caring, supportive human beings for having a father with Parkinson's disease.

Go for it and enjoy the baby making process!!!
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