Good Afternoon! This is my first week taking over this thread and I am very excited about it. I look forward to sharing more about myself and learning more about each of you. I would like to thank all of you that have offered your support to me in this new adventure. I would especially like to thank Steve and Jaye for trusting me with this and I hope to make them proud!

I am not a morning person. I will most likely be posting this thread some time on Sunday afternoon so don't worry if you don't see it first thing in the morning. I promise...I will stay on top of it! I am a newbie at this, so if anybody has any suggestions for me, let me know.

I just want to share a little bit about my life for those people that are new or don't know much about me. I am 33 years old and I have been married to my husband, Josh, for fifteen years. We have two sons. Our oldest son is eleven and our youngest son is nine. I lived in Southern California for the first thirty years of my life, but we relocated to Washington three and a half years ago. There are many things that I miss about California, but there are many things that I love about Washington. Our favorite thing to do as a family is to go camping. We love to go camp near the lake and sit and play in the water all day! We love to play board games and roast marshmallows or pop Jiffy Pop at night. It is a way that we have found to have quality family time together and we place a high value on that.

My husband works at a store in the area and works really nice hours. He is home early every day and off almost every weekend...which works out great for the whole camping gig! I am in a period of transition in my life regarding my career. I will tell you a little bit more about that later.

I found NeuroTalk shortly after a Rheumatologist that examined me told me that I was experiencing something in my limbs called cogwheel rigidity and he went on to tell me that it was most commonly associated with PD. That is when my search began...April/May of 2008. I was seen by a Neurologist and treated with Requip, then Mirapex because I had a reaction to the Requip. The medication that I took really helped to alleviate my symptoms, however it never completely took away the cogwheel rigidity. I went off of the Mirapex in the end of November of 2008 because of side effects. I am currently waiting to be seen for the second time by a MDS. My appointment is in mid February. I e-mailed him about a trial of Sinemet and we are going to discuss that at the appointment. My main problems as of today are stiffness and pain, action tremor that is brought on by the cogwheel rigidity, and a mild resting tremor in my left hand and arm. I understand that it can take some time to get a diagnosis, but I feel like I am getting closer to finally having some answers for all of the symptoms that I have been dealing with for the past two years. I am going to post a longer Bio under my profile information if you are interested in learning more about my journey so far.

Well, I mentioned a change in my career so I will address that now. Before I had my kids I was a Preschool Teacher. After my first son was born I decided that I wanted to be a stay at home mom. I was a stay at home mom and then I became a licensed home child care provider. When all of this PD stuff popped up it made me reevaluate my life and my purpose in life. I had always wanted to be a nurse as a child and I figured that if I was ever going to try and do that there was really no better time than now. My first step was to become a Certified Nursing Assistant. I did that and I worked in long term care and then later at a hospital. All of this happened since last August. I gained a wealth of knowledge in a very short amount of time and I learned a lot about myself. One of the things that I learned that has been the most difficult for me to accept is that in spite of that fact that I am very compassionate and did a great job being a Nursing Assistant, physically and emotionally it is far too difficult for me. It was hard for me to provide care for people that were declining in health and losing their physical ablitities and as much as I tried to seperate myself from that emotionally I was unable to do so. My own fear that I have about how PD will impact my life managed to creep in on me and because of that I decided that I was not the best person for that type of job. It was far too stressful and I noticed a big difference in the severity of my symptoms. I know that kind of stress is not good for me. It was just not meant to be for me, and that is OKAY! Now that I have made that decision, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I need to do something that brings me joy and makes me feel good about being alive! I have decided to go back to working with little kids again. There is a hopefulness in them that I find truly inspiring and I can really use a little inspiration in my life right now. I have a lot to offer them in return and I feel really good about that.

In the next week, I will begin my search for a new job. Wish me luck! So what have you all been up to and what is new in your lives? I look forward to hearing from you. If you have never posted here before, take this opportunity to introduce yourself and open yourself up to a whole new world of people that will be here for you to give you the information and support that you might be searching for. This is a great place!

Evonne- Good luck in your search for a new job- I hope you find the perfect job! It is good to hear you are feeling better and can look for a job again. When God closes one door, another will open.

This week I am practicing 16th century guitar music on my renaissance guitar so I can record a demo cd with my friend's recorder at the end of the week. Then I hope to get a gig at a venue where they feature music from other countries and music on unusual instruments.

Last June I attended a workshop on the history of the guitar and when I saw the renaissance guitar, I thought it would be the perfect guitar for me. I was having trouble with stiffness in my shoulders and arms which prevented me from playing my classical guitar as much as I wanted to. The renaissance guitar is very small, but more unique than just playing a small guitar. There was music published for this guitar in Paris in 1550. I was able to buy one of these guitars from a local luthier in October. I still play my full size guitar and teach with my full size guitar, but I am learning a variety of music on the renaissance guitar. Besides the renaissance music, I also play some folk music and some church music on it. Here is a picture.

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Thank You Evonne!..Great job!

Well..this week is off to a very bad start, and Im gonna leave it at that

Thanks again Evonne!

There was one thing I wanted to write about that really took me by surprise..We went out to Cape Cod on Saturday, because Laura was returning home on Monday and wanted to see the Cape before she left

As most of you know I sold my 47' fishing trawler a couple of years ago, due to my pd, and the fact that I lost my dock space at Alden's because the owners wouldnt renew Alden Yacht's lease, so therefore, when they got kicked out, I had to find another dock space..I did find one at Brewers, but it was a very long walk down the dock, then climb a ladder up on the whale at the end of the finger piers, where as at Aldens I was tied up on the bulkhead, and could back my truck right up to the boat, and do what I had to do..Brewers was not a very user friendly place to run a fishing operation out of, and definetaly not parkie friendly, nor fisherman friendly either..They had strict rules there cuz the catered to Yachts..So that was the deciding factor for selling the boat

Well, as I got into the town of Wellfleet on the Cape, I saw a sign that said "Wellfleet Town Dock"..The guy who bought the boat was from Wellfleet, and said the boat was going to either Wellfleet or Provincetown, so I took a left turn at the light, and went looking for the town dock..When I originally sold the boat, I made sure I wasnt around when the new owner sailed away with her..I knew it would be more than I could bare, so I stayed away

Well I managed to find the town dock and there she was tied up to it..It looked like she still had the same paint job on her, when I painted her in the spring of 2006..I got out of the van and took a few pictures, and as I stood there, I looked at all the backbreaking work I had done to it when I stripped her down to the bare hull and began to completely rebuild her in Nov of 2003, and was having pd symptoms for almost a year at the time..I was dx in May of 2004..I finished rebuilding her in Aug of 2004, and me and my friend and first mate Don, fished the rest of the 2004 season, and the whole 2005 season, and called it quits after that..As I stood there, at the Wellfleet Town Dock with wobbly legs that day, and gawked at was once the life that I chose to live some 34 years ago, I got very emotional as I took a short walk down memory lane in the archives of my mind..It wasnt just the fact that pd took that life away from me, it was more the fact that pd couldnt remove the cherished memories of that life that I had lived out for all those years..There were adventures..There were disasters, one of which was back in 1996 where I picked up a heavy net full of crabs, and sunk out in the bay with my small trawler, and got rescued by a passing sailboat..There were tons of comical situations, as well as a colorful cast of characters who I shared special friendships and camaraderie with, who lurked around the waterfront..I think that is what I miss the most..We competed fiercely, and sometimes ruthlessly, and most of the time secretly for our share of the bounty, but inspite of the competition, there was a bond, and a brotherhood amongst us that was deep rooted in our hearts and souls, and that bond between us, was a conscious, unobligated, decision by each and everyone of us, to honor, and to maintain, through thick and thin..No matter what we were doing, or whether or not we were making a few hundred, or on our way to making a couple of thousand dollars that day, we would drop everything to help a friend in need, be it a tow into port, a fuel filter, a length or roller chain for a winch, motor oil, a hydraulic hose, or whatever the case may be, there was always someone there to assist unconditionally..Nobody ever kept score..There were the nights after the day was done, or after a Marine Fisheries Council meeting, where we would all gather for a sandwich and a beer..(soda for me)..and reminice some of those comical stories, about those colorful characters

We would talk about the times when we caught tons of fish, or nothing at all..We'd talk about who was sick, or had passed away, like my dear friend Rick, who was found slumped over behind the steering wheel in his truck, in a supermarket parking lot where he pulled off the road, to have a massive heart attack, that took his life at the age of 50..Rick was a big burly boisterous guy, with the heart of a teddy bear, who talked very loud, driven by that New England passion..He was one of those guys that you meet, and click with, like you've known each other for 100 years..You never knew when, or what time of the day, he would come to visit, but I remember this one night there was a knock on the door, and it was Rick..My ex wife was with me, as we had been making many unsuccessful attemps to reconcile, and when I opened the door Rick had the usual huge ear to ear mischievous smile on his face, and when he came in and saw my ex wife sitting at the kitchen table, the smile from his face immediately disappeared, and turned into a contemptful stare..He stayed but a few minutes, and about a half an hour after he left, the phone rang, and it was him..He said.."I have to talk to you right now, come on over"..So I went over to his place, and we sat in his truck that dark night, in the pouring rain, as he proceeded to tell me everything my ex was doing in the bar down the street, behind my back, while we were trying for months to reconcile, and he did it because he cared enough about me, that he didnt want to see me get hurt anymore than I already had..So I thanked him, and told him how much his friendship meant to me, and I went back home, and confronted my ex, and asked her to leave..It was the thoughts of friends like Rick, who out of generousity of his heart would give away fish and lobsters to strangers at the dock, or buy a bunch of kids that he didnt know an ice cream cone, just because..I remembered his funeral..It was held in this giant Cathederal in Central Falls R.I., and I thought how appropriate for such a big guy, but he was cremated, and seemed strange that they fit him into that small can, and there next to his ashes was a picture of him with that huge mischeivious smile on his face..I recall the day that two game wardens tried to arrest him for some illegal fish he had in the back of his truck..He was as strong as a bull, and the wardens couldnt get his arms behind his back, so they tried to put two sets of handcuffs on him....They both ended up on the hood of Rick's pick-up truck in a headlock..It was those kinds of memories that brought sadness as I stood on that dock the other day, on that chilly, sunny, Saturday afternoon, and looked at an ended chapter of my life, while another profound, but brief chapter in my life was about to end as well, and it occupied my thoughts for the remainder of that day, and well into the next

Since Ive been dx with pd, I get an occasional visit from some of my fishing buddies who either drop off some fish or shrimp for me to eat, or free bait for my conch pots, or just stop by to see how Im doing, and shoot the breeze till whenever..Fishing wasnt just a job, something I did to pay the bills..it was a way of life that we chose to live, and not because it was extremely profitable, but because we loved it

I seldom dwell on what pd has taken away from me, but I did dwell on it that day, and it did get the best of me for too long..I realized that it was part of a belated grieving process that I had unconsciously ran away from, that had to come to the surface, to be processed and dealt with..Ive been in a grieving, and a processing transitional period, with many other issues in my life simutaneously..Not my favorite place to be, and certainly not in my comfort zone, but it is trials, and adversity that we grow from, and find our better selves at the crossroads of these experiences

I don't post much, but I do read.

Steve, this one's for you.............

Well Steve, I think you may have another enterprise to fill your life--writing! Your descriptive writings, about landscapes, machinery, boats, people, or emotions are compelling to read. Really, I think you may have another career waiting for you....madelyn

I had a good cry reading your post this morning. It was so heart felt and touching. As I sat here reading your descriptive writing I was able to visualize these events in your life and actually feel your pain. I am so sorry that you are going through everything that you are dealing with right now. I hope that things start looking up for you again soon.

I have to say, even in the middle of your trials and difficulties right now, you manage to keep your perspective. You still have so much to share will all of us here...so much to teach us. Are you sure that you don't want to take your thread back? I would completely understand if that is the case. I know that there are things that I have given up in my life when I was feeling a little overwhelmed that I would take back in a heart beat if I had the chance again. Just let me know, okay?

I want to say a prayer for you right now...Dear Heavenly Father, Please be with Steve right now as he deals with all of these emotions that have resurfaced, as well as the other difficulties he is facing right now in his life. Heavenly Father...you know more than anybody what his needs are right now. Please fill him with your presence, your love, your comfort, your understanding, and your peace. Fill him with the wisdom that he needs right now to handle all of the things that are going on in his life, and let him know how valuable he is to others. May he go on to have a blessed day today. I ask these things in your precious name...Amen

I just sent you a cyber-hug.

In His Love,

Evonne

Thank You so much Evonne!..That was so thoughtful of you

As far as the thread..it really is time to pass it on, so I would rather that you take it over..Being the weekly host of the thread for 4 years has served its purpose for me..I was newly dx, and was trying to find my way through the process of accepting the fact that I had this illness, what was it going to be like, how would it affect my life, and how would I be able to carry on and live a purposeful fullfilling life?..And I attribute my acceptance, and being able to walk through its trials when they come, to being an active part of this community..Ive met 15 folks from this forum in person, and a few twice, and it was they, and the other folks that I havent met that taught me, and showed me how to co-exist with this disease..From their inspiration I became the PAN Rep for my state for 2 years..I am an APDA board member of the Rhode Island Chapter..And I am the treasurer of my support group..Ive had the opportunity to reach out and pass on the spirit of support to those in despair, and I was instumental in helping someone walk again, and having a new lease on life, and from that experience I found that I had some compassionate carepartner qualities as well..These are some of the things Ive been blessed with because I took the time to post this thread every week..When Jaye asked me to take it over, I thought..What do I know about pd?..How am I going to do this?..I just wrote about my life, and the rest followed..

I dont know where this path will take you Evonne, but I would be content to just sit in the background..make my contribution to your thread..and watch it happen