Well here we go again, I'm on a bad spiral downward! This sucks! My one daughter, 22, lives with us. She is unemployed and as of lately spends most of the day in her room in bed. The other decided last March to move out on her sister, in with a bf. We were forced to move the other in with us-mind you we were paying for thier apt!!! Saw no reason to further pay for the apt.. And that's how it went, of course we paid that moving tab, too! They just couldnt stand each other any more. So now this week my #2 daughter, 21 y/o has an argument with the rmate at the apt and since she is a move in with bf, she has to move out. For her safety, nearly was physical m/f. Mom and Dad, you guessed it. My wife now wants to get her into her own apt.!!! at the tune of 600.00 per month!! I said no way!! That didnt go well. huh?!! She works but as a cafeteria hostess, going to school..but 600.00 thats a chunck of change no doubt!! Well my wife went out and found her an apt- 550.00 a month from us she says.

2
Lst night I made dinner, #2 is staying with us for a couple of days till her apt is ready. extra dog and all! Under the radar at that. She got denied here in our complex , not enough income and I dont want to sign on for another. I made dinner its 6:30, I'm off. laying on the floor in LR. At 8:30 I call into the BR, they both live in there now, when not doing something. I tell them the kitchen needs to be cleaned up and dogs need to go out. The responsse escalates into them yelling at us that she has laundry to do, etc to get ready to move, etc. This continues and goes on for a half hour or so with both of them yelling at my wife who is working (3-11 works at home.). Including them telling her she doesn't do any housework,etc. I called 9-1-1 and ended up having them removed from the house last night. Now you guessed it. My wife gave them about 100.00 dollars (all our cash) before they left. Now we have no money. no car, and I need to go to the doctor today-her response was "well that's just not going to happen." I can see it now, this is a bad turn , really bad I'm looking for a ACLF but we have 3 dogs. Not looking forward to this one, tlhis disease has me down to the last bit, not much left.

******When I say my wife she is my ex-wife, we were getting along great, really great had made amends after splitting up, I love her desperately. The agreement gives her 1800.00 per month of my 3700 in benefits. In addition to some 2000.00 she makes working. I don't feel I was disrespectful of anyone here, this is a common occurrance and something had to be done. So..... I guess I have whats left to find someplace. I expect that she will be leaving, too. . Financially wise the only thing up for debate is the amount..975 is from my retirement pension, we were married for 22 yrs and 800 is an alimony amount we agreed on when she was not working as much. it's 800.00 till the end of this year.

Jim;

you need to embrace the "tough love" concept. Get your tribe to a family counselor. They will refuse to go and thats when you tell them, that if they want any more money from you they will!!
It's a tough situation I know, but you got to do it, because your downward spiral will continue otherwise.
YOur daughters are spoiled brats, we parents are guilty of creating them!!
We all do it, so you are not alone.

Get family counseling!!
Charlie

I agree with Charlie completely!!

I know I am going to sound like I am hollering, and that is not my intention here, but I have been there and done that! Thankfull for me my situation was from the other end of a telephone between FL and NYS...but the money issues were the same and hardest to FINALLY say so too.

As to counseling, find out what is available in your county/city that allows for a sliding scale payment plan. If you don't know who to contact, or you can't find the information, call the local hospital or call the local Crisis Intervention Hotline for the counseling information I described.

These daughters of yours are too old for you to take care of them...enabling them to lean on you is far too stressful for you and your relationship with the wife. I don't know what state you live in, but here in PA low income renters can apply for Vouchers to assist with paying rent...the county/state pays part and the renter pays part. It is something that is available at the County Housing Office. I suggest you might want to look into this, write it down and hand it to the daughters...let them take the necessary action or live on the street (been there done that with my son...not easy, but it was necessary...a very long, long story). No one said Tough Love was easy!! Also, $600 sounds like a lot for a simple apartment, but then I don't know what city you live in...so it may be just par for the course in your neck of the woods.

Secondly, as to transportation. Surely there is disabled transportation available where you live. Check with the county or city your live in. Here is my county and all PA counties, we have disabled transportation for when you don't have transport of your own. I only needed to have a physician (my internist at the time) sign the application and then I had to turn it into the transport office. My neuro is too far away to have him sign it. There are usually special rules; i.e. call by noon the day before an appt., but you can do this too!!

The daughter who spends so much time in bed. That level of depression scares me.

YOU CAN DO THIS, Jim!!

Please take care of yourself and your wife and your relationship...your health is more important than enabling your daughters. Untie the apron strings...or the wife needs to do this...and let them stumble on their own!! Let me learn and build self-confidence and character while they are stumbling around.