Hi Cat. Some studies suggest that rational drinking skills can be learned by individuals who have a history of alcohol abuse. Personally, I have never seen it work and I can't do it myself. The effort required to continually self monitor my thoughts and behavior is not worth it, and I have failed 100% of the time, eventually. Now, with PN, I don't bother at all with the exception of my experiment I discussed in a previous post.

As far as your physical reaction to even modest amounts of alcohol, that seems odd to me as well when it happens , and I am not aware of any data that suggest there is anything you can do to "unlearn" it. Frankly, I doubt it. My hunch is the nerves are so damaged that small amounts somehow aggravate symptoms beyond what one would expect. Best to keep the plug in the jug.

Here are my thoughts on "unlearning".

While I would love for the opportunity to have a glass of wine with dinner, or a beer on a summer day, it is just not something that I would want to "test". It is a known fact that relapse is never the same, it is often progressively worse. Meaning that people will fall harder, and every time they go back to alcohol they will abuse it more then before.

At this point in my sobriety I am scared of what that would look like. I have come too far to even dabble with the notion of drinking again. It is just not worth it.

I can walk again, I have my children back in my life, I can work, I can volunteer, I can drive at any time of the day without worry!

Even though the pull of alcohol is strong, the joy of life is stronger.

I would imagine it would feel like russian roulette for me. So the first time went well, and I didn't go overboard? And the second time too? How much luck exactly would I expect to have?

And I'm sure that I would behave that "first time". It wouldn't even cost much restraint. And yeah, maybe even that second time. And then? Less and less time between "having a social drink"? Have one bad day somewhere (pet dies, financial problem, a loved one passing away...) and drink a bit too much- thinking I have it under control anyway?

No (I'd use a swear word here) way. Like Icehouse says: so much risk for so little reward. Chances of the addiction being even worse that time around: 99%. Chances of being able to break the cycle again: a *lot* less than last time. It's like opening a door and you're just not sure if you'll ever be able to close it again.

I honestly feel fine with abstinence. Once that decision was solid, and proved to be sustainable, I just knew that was it, alcohol wise.

I had no problem buying a small bottle of high quality champagne for my wife for her birthday, 2 weeks ago. She felt bad for me at first until I made it clear there is no reason to feel bad: my choice, for me only.

Mind you, I'm not holier than thou. The fleeting thought of a cold beer does occur. Say, once every 2 months. Almost when I'm not paying attention. .3 seconds later my rational brain kicks in, sees it for what it is, smiles, and I move on.

Yesterday I accidentally looked at pictures of myself when I was 6 days in rehab. It was... sobering. You'll have to believe me on my word as I don't exactly want to post those up here.

I think I'll look at them again if I ever feel wobbly. They are pretty shocking.

Merry Christmas to you all! I trust that your days will be filled with family and fun and that you will ALL behave

I know....What?? yep, I added this little number to my mix of supplements I take in my effort to go where no man has gone before, maybe, in trying to heal PN...I found them at Swansons, at a seemingly decent price. Just FYI....

"Int J Med Mushrooms. 2012;14(5):427-46.
Neuroregenerative potential of lion's mane mushroom, Hericium erinaceus (Bull.: Fr.) Pers. (higher Basidiomycetes), in the treatment of peripheral nerve injury (review).
Wong KH1, Naidu M, David RP, Bakar R, Sabaratnam V.
Author information
Abstract
We present a model case study of the activity of aqueous extract of Hericium erinaceus fresh fruit bodies in promoting functional recovery following crush injury to the peroneal nerve in adult female Sprague-Dawley rats. The aim was to explore the possible use of this mushroom in nerve repair. The activities of aqueous extract were compared to activities exhibited by mecobalamin (vitamin B12), which has been widely used in the treatment of peripheral nerve disorders. Analysis of walking track indicated that return of hind limb function and normal toe spreading occurred earlier in treated groups than in the negative control (non-treated) group. Regeneration of axons and reinnervation of motor endplates/neuromuscular junction in extensor digitorum longus muscle of rats in treated groups developed better than in the negative control group. Further, immunofluorescence studies also showed that dorsal root ganglia neurons ipsilateral to the crush injury in rats of treated groups expressed higher immunoreactivities for Akt and MAPK signaling pathways as well as c-Jun and c-Fos genes compared to the negative control group. Akt cascade plays a major role in mediating neurotrophin-promoted cell survival, while MAPK cascade is involved in mediating neurite outgrowth. Immediate early gene expression was also involved in the cascade of events leading to regeneration. Local axonal protein synthetic machinery was also enhanced in the distal segments of crushed nerves in treated groups. Therefore, daily oral administration of H. erinaceus could promote the regeneration of injured rat peroneal nerve in the early stage of recovery.
PMID: 23510212 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]"

1248 days sober.

Lions Mane has me intrigued, but I think I will follow the results of Newstown and see how that goes

I am not one to make new years resolutions, but I think 2015 will be an epic year for me. I am going to try new things (food, physical activity, going out of my comfort zone, etc) to better myself as a person. I am going to spend more time with strangers, I am going to step out in Faith and do things that scare the crap out of me. I am going to buy another Porsche 914, with a 5-spd, so I can work my legs more (ok, that is just a lame excuse, but I need a good one).

I also vow to finish making amends to those I have hurt. I have one more to write to ease my mind, that I have been procrastinating about for 4 years.

And with all that, I am just going to take it day-by-day, enjoy sobriety, and continue to be grateful that I am who I am today!

- Icehouse

I too drank for many years, quit for 13 and started up when my world fell apart and continued to go from bad to worst. I was diagnosed with alcoholic neuropathy and continued to self medicate. Here I am today almost unable to walk from the weakness in my legs. The pins and needles have progressed to burning pain and my left fingers are numb and my arm weak. The latest progression is heart palpitations, dizziness and problems with my eye muscles. I am a mess. I have been searching this board for inspirational stories but there aren't many. Thank God I found this one.
Are there any other success stories?
Oh, and I am 6 days sober but actually haven't drank a whole lot the last month or so since I have been feeling so crappy.
Is there hope for me?

Welcome Prancer.

Absolutely! We may be a small group here on this anonymous site, but we know what you are going through, I promise!

I, for one, am one of the success stories. There are others too with just as much to be proud of.

Have you read all the pages?
Are you attending meetings?
Are you taking any vitamin supplements yet?

6 days is awesome, you can do it!

Welcome Prancer. Abstaining from alcohol is your best bet to recovery, along with vitamins, a well balanced diet, and exercise. I've also had many of those symptoms and I'm 2 days from 2 years of sobriety. I haven't fully "recovered" but I am so much better than where I was 2 years ago. Everyday is a struggle and everyone has their own choices to make, but I hope you choose to abstain alcohol and give your body a fighting chance at recovery.


Happy new year to everyone on this thread! All the best to you and your families this new year!