I often attended, when family allowed, my daughter's rehab. Crazy; but thru attending her rehab; I quit smoking. I was a 2 1/2 pk. a day smoker; know the denial; thinking I could just cut back "not"!!! During her treatment; I started the patches; and know I can't ever even have one cigarette; or it's all over. I also attended a few AA meetings with her.

I continue to blame myself doing things really was hurting like "hell"; especially the lumbar spine and I still continued. I eventually needed spinal fusion and the discs were protruding into the spine so part of the spinal cord covering was removed; thus failed spinal surgery; which pain meds; which incurred several problems eventually the neuropathy kicked in.

The hardest part was finally coming to "acceptance" of my condition But...... and a big "But"; I could sit on the "pity pot" which I did for some time.....or learn to adjust to accomplishing what I can do.

I am still able to do things a bit differently; but I can still be with family, get meals together and so on and so forth; plus those magnets on my refrigerator really help me a lot. I have a lot of daily conversation with God (my higher power). We get thru each day......as you well know the statement..."One Day At A Time.

Please don't give up on yourself. Be proud of what you accomplished yesterday.:hug:


Gerry (Geri)

Thank you Gerry for sharing your story and your faith. I needed it just now.

The burning and pain is very much back. I tell myself that the nerves are healing with movement but human nature is to avoid pain, especially when it will bring one back to the drink. It is a quandary that I have not yet figured out.
Thank you my Friends. Hangin' in one day at a time but lying on my couch brings me some relief and yet the upcoming months will force me to push very hard. I am not sure I can tolerate the pain.

Have you seen a doctor for the neuropathy? Do you take anything for nerve pain?

Gerry (Geri)

I did early on but got no relief. I will need go there again. Ugh...I hate being dosed but it is much worse than 4 years ago, and of course I continued to drink expecting a drug to take the pain the pain away so I could drink. That is how an addict or alcoholic mind works. Delusional but alcohol is how we cope and only way to manage our life.
Yes my sweet Friend, in sobriety I will need revisit the med option.

True. I was on the religious "fence" for years and it was not till recently (perhaps clarity via sobriety) that I have chose to believe in a God. I read something years ago that I will try to quote, but will most likely just paraphrase instead.

"I would rather live my life thinking there is a God, and die to find out there it is, than to live my life as if there is no God, and die to find out there is."

I am 43 and the past 5.5 years have been the best in my life - and there is no sign of that plateauing anytime soon.

Just my $0.02 CDN in the USA. :D

That is worth much much more. Good quote....

Geri

But I have lived my life right and ALWAYS did the best thing for family, friends and strangers. I believed in God but maybe not so much lately,... but if there is a judgment day I think I will fare well.

I took my garbage out and fell. It was a 10 lb bag and yet without my cane I fell. Thank goodness is was dark and did not feel public humiliation, just my own. Perhaps better days? Ugh...ouchy knees now.

That's a real "bummer".......
You deserve a:hug:


Geri