Sadly sometimes the lengthy castigation & delivery of our own humiliation is far worse than what the public offer. I hope your knees don't give you too much trouble.

Today is 133 days since being admitted to a hospital in the US of A with various problems relating to alcohol abuse, mainly Acute Pancreatitis.

Life is much different today! I had an appointment at my English hospital this morning to give me the all clear from my last CT scan.

My neuropathy still comes and goes. Yesterday I thought it might have gone for good...but then pain back this morning. It's clear my burning / tingling comes back with consumption of too much sugar, too much caffeine and / or overuse of my feet whilst wearing incorrect footwear. And obviously alcohol did the damage to begin with.

When drinking daily (hourly), my resting heart rate was around 100. It's now 58 BPM. I do train pretty intense, but I'm shocked at how quickly we can heal ourselves. My blood pressure is 110 / 64, down from around 150/100. Weight was 113kg at worst and now 88kg.

I'm going on a beach holiday in a few weeks. The past 10 or so I've had a huge concern every time in advance 'How do I lose weight while consuming my daily intake in calories in alcohol alone?' My best suggestion was to drink Vodka instead of wine....the idea of just not drinking was ridiculous.

All of that hassle and conundrum of how to service my alcohol habit while travelling is gone too. I used to spend every holiday...'Let's go on a fishing trip...actually...I wonder if they'll have beer on the boat. Maybe they won't...not worth the risk. How about we go to a water park....hmmm what if they don't have wine there, let's not risk it. Let me just sit at the bar in the hotel, tip the barman heavy so he prioritises me, and shout anyone down who says I'm getting too drunk with the excuse that I'm on holiday'.

My partner and I are doing a lot better too. She had got carried away with drinking but with some steering in the right direction she's back to her normal self.

We're planning on starting a family soon. We're both almost 30 so it's about time we made a start! Neither of us wanted to bring a child into the world whilst not healthy ourselves, and stable. I can't believe now how much I was willing to sacrifice for something that really wasn't that good anyway.

2100 days sober.

Not much to report...just a normal month for me. Carry on!

I read an interview in GQ Magazine with Brad Pitt. He said he was drinking every day and eventually lost feeling in his finger tips, which he regained after a period of abstinence. Seems it also impacts the great and the good!

I think Eric Clapton is the most prominent victim: Eric Clapton reveals nerve damage that makes playing guitar ‘hard work’ - The Washington Post

Yes I have a family member who took CIPRO and had a bad reaction that lasted a few years. There are groups on Facebook with thousands of people poisoned by antibiotics. Search Fluoroquinolone Toxicity on Facebook any you should find them.

One of the worst antibiotic for PN is Levaquin; I took it for two weeks after bladder surgery some years back. That's when the Neuropathy really got bad. Mrs. D appears to have this one pretty close to the top of her list of Neuropathy causing antibiotics.


Gerry

Well my friends, my stress and anxiety got the best of me and I could not handle it any more. I drank 8 beers on an empty stomach, and got drunk and belligerent to my son and we had a major fight. It was over nothing but just be acting out and he kept saying "You are insane" "Are u drunk?" After that I went out looking for a liquor store. I had no clue that it was 12:30AM I thought maybe like 8, and I was desperate and driving all over looking for booze. I was so outta it. I NEVER EVER DRIVE DRUNK! That is my one rule, not since college anyway when the coos back then would follow you home to make sure you got home safely for follow you to a diner to make sure you got some coffee. Nope, hard and fast rule, never drive drunk. Well I did, got pulled over by a cop, asked me questions, smelled the booze, and had me do some tests. I could not walk but told him I had neuropathy issues from chemo and could not answer where I had been coming from. Why he ever let me go I will never know but he did give me an $85 ticket. maybe cuz I was so close to my place when he pulled me over but I was obviously intoxicated. After that first beer there was no going back and the fall was hard. It was like I could not get enough.
This morning I called for a doctor's appointment. I cried the whole time and while I never mentioned alcohol I told him I was terribly depressed with anxiety and panic attacks. he asked about my life and said most people struggle with must one of the major life traumas and you have 6 or 7. I am so hopeful drug therapy will help as I can never remain sober as much as I have tried it is agonizing. I f*cked up big time and thank god I did not hurt anyone, crash my car or lose my license when so many people depend on me. lesson learned. Never again.
Accountability, right Icehouse? Day 1.

Um, yes

Sorry to hear about the lapse, it happens, more often than not. Hopefully this will be the last one and the counter will stay rolling upwards from today.

Glad you are OK.

Thank you Icehouse. I hate meds but I know I can't do it alone. I had 13 years sobriety but life was simpler then. Like the doc said, I can't fix your life but the goal is to help you cope better. Again I hid the alcohol history.
Perhaps the cop let me off because I used the cancer card. I never share that with anyone but perhaps he felt pity on me? I will never understand why he let me go but I am forever grateful for the second chance. I thank my higher power that I did not hurt anyone. I could never live with that burden. 2 weeks for the med to start taking effect. i will hang in.