The ebb and flow....Last night I was sitting in my chair, and for the a very brief moment, my feet didn't hurt at all. It was like someone lifted a weight off my chest. It was so wonderful. I do get those moments on occasion. I also get the zaps and burns out of the blue and it reminds me of my condition. Which leads me to my cornucopia of drugs. The Lyrica, Tramadol, my blood pressure med, my cholesterol med, my crazy med...and last but certainly not least...the big one. Oxycodone! 2 pills three times a day. 30mgs a day. Going on two years. Addicted as addicted can be...and terrified to quit. And terrified to stay on them. I used to just shake my head as a youngster when I saw the many pills my father was taking. I vowed that it would never happen to me. But, I inherited the illness of depression/anxiety. I also got lucky with the BP and cholesterol. God only knows how I got the fun little idiopathETIC PN.
I stopped at a light today on the way home from work. I nodded off right at the light! I have tremendous tightness in my neck and my shoulder blade....had it before...STRESS. Being a probation officer and supervising sex offenders can do that after being in the business for 35 years. Oh...to sit in the sun...sip on a herbal tea, be stress free....pain free....I'm 60 and my wife just turned 50. If it wasn't for her, and my wonderful 2 adult sons....I just would feel so lost. I know.....where's he going with this....I wish I knew....I just feel safe talking here.