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Old 09-04-2010, 09:07 PM #1
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Default Why me

Why am i the person in line at the store who everyone is staring at when they see my cain? After all i'm just 39 and have suffered this disease since i was 29 including two rounds of GBS. Why me? They look at me like I'm a fa
ker when i cash my disability check but are not there to hear me cry in the night with burning,searing pain. Why me? I feel as though i got the rough end of the stick.Why me?Why not somebody else to feel 75 at 39 why me?Im tired of the pains of all kinds burning, tingling,sharp,buzzzing,stabbing and everything else.Why me?
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Old 09-04-2010, 10:20 PM #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by topaz1113 View Post
Why am i the person in line at the store who everyone is staring at when they see my cain? After all i'm just 39 and have suffered this disease since i was 29 including two rounds of GBS. Why me? They look at me like I'm a fa
ker when i cash my disability check but are not there to hear me cry in the night with burning,searing pain. Why me? I feel as though i got the rough end of the stick.Why me?Why not somebody else to feel 75 at 39 why me?Im tired of the pains of all kinds burning, tingling,sharp,buzzzing,stabbing and everything else.Why me?
hugs hugs hugs!

While I don't fully understand your situation (I'm not in your shoes), I know a lot of the same troubles/feelings you feel. I'm 24 and bedridden and have to use a wheelchair when I go to the doctor.. I get lots of looks and comments/questions such as “it must be fun to lay around all day and do nothing”, “you sure don't act like you have a lot of pain”, and “getting up and exercising will do more good than taking all those pills”. Keep your chin up and keep pressing through... it doesn't matter what all the strangers think.. I hope you have a good support system of family and friends.. but if not, there are so many wonderful people on this website. Take care of yourself, okay?
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♥ "Hope is more than a word; it's a state of being. It's a firm belief God will come through. Life brings rain... hope turns every drop into the power to bloom like never before." -Holley Gerth ♥

My name is Sarah and I am 25 years old. I have a lot of chronic health problems. Peripheral neuropathy and POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) keep me bedridden the majority of the time. I also struggle with degenerative disc disease, disc desiccation, spondylolisthesis, arthritis, polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) with insulin resistance, allergies, sound sensitivities, and other health problems.
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Old 09-05-2010, 07:15 AM #3
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Originally Posted by Sarah Mae View Post
hugs hugs hugs!

While I don't fully understand your situation (I'm not in your shoes), I know a lot of the same troubles/feelings you feel. I'm 24 and bedridden and have to use a wheelchair when I go to the doctor.. I get lots of looks and comments/questions such as “it must be fun to lay around all day and do nothing”, “you sure don't act like you have a lot of pain”, and “getting up and exercising will do more good than taking all those pills”. Keep your chin up and keep pressing through... it doesn't matter what all the strangers think.. I hope you have a good support system of family and friends.. but if not, there are so many wonderful people on this website. Take care of yourself, okay?

Thank you so much for your understanding.Sometimes i just get angry and lash out. I would give anything to to go back to my early 20's and do all those things i used to dream of.God bless you and stay as well as as you can.
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Old 09-05-2010, 07:53 AM #4
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I understand about canes! Even my doctor stares at me.

Once I had a flare in my left foot, and used a cane for about a month. During that time I was called to jury duty, (my second time) and every single trial rejected me! The defense stared at my cane....and none of them wanted me!

I use a hiking pole now for stability. Since I don't need to put WEIGHT significantly on a cane or the pole, it works really well for me. These are the telescoping aluminum variety sold for hiking. I purchased an inexpensive one at Dunham's and it has lasted me 3 yrs! People don't stare at me the same way. I use it going up and down stairs and outside when I am working on my garden. (it helps me bend over and get back up etc too.) and walking long distances.

With time the rubber tip wears out and I had to replace it. Moosejaw had Leki pole tips and they fit my pole too, and are working better in fact.

Hubby thinks this pole is rather cool, and believes that people don't stare because of the "fashion" factor! He thinks I look rather cosmpolitan with it!
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Old 09-05-2010, 08:26 AM #5
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I use a cane. I understand what you are saying. But, I will have to get AFO's at some point and possibly still have to use a cane. At some point I probably will use a rollator but before AFO's I would hope. Or it might have to be both. I have a friend like that. Time will tell as there are many different scenarios. These things seem to be looming on the horizen because CMT is progressive no matter what a person does.

Why me? Because my syndrome is inherited and I was the "unlucky" one to get the gene. There are worse things but at the same time I have to deal with what I have and another person has to deal with what they have. So I never say that it could be worse. We all have a right to grieve due to whatever it is that we have. And we have to do the best that we can. Take care.
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Old 09-05-2010, 08:38 AM #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by topaz1113 View Post
Why am i the person in line at the store who everyone is staring at when they see my cain? After all i'm just 39 and have suffered this disease since i was 29 including two rounds of GBS. Why me? They look at me like I'm a fa
ker when i cash my disability check but are not there to hear me cry in the night with burning,searing pain. Why me? I feel as though i got the rough end of the stick.Why me?Why not somebody else to feel 75 at 39 why me?Im tired of the pains of all kinds burning, tingling,sharp,buzzzing,stabbing and everything else.Why me?
As God said to Job:
"BECAUSE YOU PI$$ ME OFF !!!"

It's not just you.
There are a lot of us out here & we're all in the same boat.
Its just something that we have to accept as a given,
and cope with it as best we can.
Have a 'pity-party' every so often, and get on with our lives.
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Old 09-05-2010, 10:53 AM #7
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You don't need anybody to tell you it's okay to feel as you do right now. You're grieving a loss - the loss of yourself as you were.

Probably all of us do who are in this PN (and other) boat(s) now and then.

If you can, try to ignore those who might stare because you use the cane. I use it when the imbalance/weakness shows up and don't give a second thought that somebody might "look at" me because of it. We do what we have to do.

We had an interim minister once while the Trustees were doing their lengthy search for a permanent one.

His sermon was entitled, "Things Happen."

The bottom line was: "Why NOT me?"

Very sad, but very true that some of us drew the short straw one way or another.

Try to keep your chin up, and best wishes.

Sheltiemom
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Old 09-06-2010, 08:14 PM #8
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Oh, what can you say. Some people, escpecially 'starers' are dopes.

to you.

I have the hiking poles....and they are ultra cool....AND, I use my grandson's stroller...only when he is in it....great, works like a walker.
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Old 09-07-2010, 08:12 AM #9
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Supermarket carts are helpful ,
but only in the market .
On the street you look like a homeless person
if you use (borrow ) one
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Old 09-07-2010, 10:21 AM #10
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Bob, your pragmatism never fails to make me laugh and laugh....thanks....The empty baby stroller doesn't work either....the kid HAS to be in it, or it is too light, and you look kinda odd, like you lost your kid.

I can tell you every time hubby checks his lotto ticket and doesn't win, he says, 'Why me?'.....I wanna kick him in the butt. His problem is, in his mind, he has spent his $25million. So whadya do, live depressed because you didn't win the lotto? I figure the best way to go out is in debt.

I gotta go chase my grandkid....he seems to like to eat paper and chew on cords and my house just can't be baby proofed.....what can I do with my heating pad?? Not to mention, I have to swiff 3 times per day, so buy stock in the company that makes those expensive things.....darn dog hair is everywhere.....and a single chicken has YET to lay an egg....grrrr.
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