Hi Lynn,
Oh, how I can relate.
I was thinking, if you were to say those exact words to your doctor, hopefully you can get something to have on hand to help cope when things get real heated. Not trying to be a pill pusher, but when I feel my nerves ready to explode, it's good to have an anti anxiety med on hand to help with the physical part........I'm thinking of the times that I've been to the brink and would start frantically pacing, ready to pull my hair out...and needing to use BIRTHING-TECHNIQUE breathing to keep from losing it!!

I too get tired of people saying 'in your head'....and doctors pushing stupid meds (that all seem to have to take 4-6 weeks to show effect).......
I don't want to have to keep trying different meds that need to be taken EVERY day for the 'in yer head' stuff.....(altho i have taken Wellbutrin on and off for the past 15 yrs ) but my point is: it's good to have something ON HAND to take IF NEEDED WHEN things get to be 'too much'.....

Do you feel you can talk like this to your doctor? Straightforward, just like your post?

The other posts here seem very helpful as well, especially for the practical stuff, the 'little things' which could invariably add up to be a huge help in taking some of the weight off your shoulders.
Ex: my pharmacy delivers meds.....
I too would check in to community assistant venues.......it wouldn't mean you don't 'care' for your father......it would be just what it's meant to be ....to help take the load off of hardworking family members.
Who knows, there are all sorts of volunteer-type of services where people will reach out in ways to help people such as your father, who are homebound and lonely.
Local churches perhaps.....?
Sometimes just getting the word out somehow is all it might take to get someone to realize your father is in this situation and could sure use a friendly visitor with a meal.....
We have a service thru our local hospital called 'meals on wheels'......free.

I really feel for you. You aren't getting the support you need.
Thank God for this forum
It's sure been a saving Grace to me!!

Truly Caring
Rae