BUT my DH retires this week end... Needless to say, there are gonna be a LOT of life adjustments? I've done my re-search stuff and all adjustments appear to be financially oriented...that's not an issue NOW tho it may be down the road...My concerns are more about HOW to keep the Good Guy feeling like he's doing something valuable....either volunteering or whatever for the interim...What all have you all done to DO and BE during the interims? I mean I don't travel well any more and IF I could encourage DH to do so I would....Adjustments and all that, advice as to where to look, any ideas would be appreciated. I don't want to break out any 2x4's here...Ya Know? Thanks! - j

Dalek,
This subject is close to my heart. We both retired at the same time after years of really tight schedules. At first we weren't sure what to do with ourselves. I solved my problem without thinking about what my husband might or might not do. I jumped into a prospering jewelry business. He encouraged it but then he found himself with a lot of time on his hands while I did gallery shows, traveling, etc. He then decided to take up bike riding, got into a bike club and then met some people who were in the Kiwanis. Kiwanis has been his life since then. He does all sorts of volunteer work, meals on wheels, building shelves in the local women's shelter etc. Then he also volunteered as an AARP tax aide one year and has since become the local coordinator for it.

There is a world of volunteer work available and no one to do a lot of it. If you can get him started in this work it will make him friends and keep him busy. Being busy and feeling needed makes for a happy life.

Billye

as I've done jewlery making since I was a teen [won awards even then?] I'd done fabrication and cloisonne and I'm not gonna even try now because the enamelling heat is, well, plain old TOO durn hot? Cooking seems to be a challenge.
It's just that, I guess, I'd adjusted to 'being on my own' for these last few years and I'm not sure IF I want to share or could share in the 'misery parts'? I don't want to be babied, as my guy could quickly discern I mite need at times, but have gotten thru alone before...Maybe I'm being selfish about my pain and challenges, but...we all hate to show it all.
At the same time, I've read that some types of folks are most prone to serious things, such as heart attacks just after retirement. I wanna keep this guy BUSY and feeling Worthwhile!
OK GUYS OUT THERE??? Can you speak up from your perspectives? Please? I mean I don't want to get to the point of strangulation or thermal neuculear blasts to get this guy UP and doing his good things? YA KNOW? Thanks in advance - j

I'm going on 63 and when I retire, I plan to get a part time job
and still use the skills I've aquired in life.
If I can't find a job, I'll volunteer my help.
I've a buddy who retired 3 yrs ago & he volunteers at the local National Aquarium, learned to be a tour guide, & does that a few days a week.
He also volunteers at one of the local Animal Shelters helps feed, groom & take care of the animals, and helps people find new pets from the ones they constantly get (but he has adopted a few more cats than I think he needs at the moment- seems to want to bring 'em all home ).
He & his wife (she still works, full time- he takes her to work, and picks her up- everyday) have a sailboat and belong to a boating club, have made friends there, and he helps others fix their boats (if ya got a boat- something always needs fixin') as well as they socialize at the club.
I think the key is to keep a full & busy schedule, with allotted time for 'nothing'. That way boredom and the 'rocking chair' syndrome doesn't
have time to take effect.

I believe you are WISE? I'm working towards that all.. but his whole 'attitude adjustment' aspect...well it's gonna take lots of 'adjustments'.. That's kind of the way he's indicated going...and we've a strong area volunteer coordinating group who could match his skills to his, well, interests...I think.. or Hope?
I guess I'm being a bit selfish in this all...I've been pretty much "home alone" with this crud for a few years now, adapted and accomodated as best I could. I DO NOT WANT, all of a sudden, unsolicited help? While I may need it down the road...Just because he's 'here' and willing doesn't mean I should feel compelled to 'accept it'?
I KNOW I've got lots of adjusting to do, as well as he....but, i hope it won't test our 30+ year mariage to the limit...it may, ya know?
I recall my own mom when commenting on my dad's possible retirement...it came out sort of a who will kill who first?
One common trait about us w/PN...we are our OWN persons...the rest is,well, auxiliary?
Hugs and good thoughts to all! Also, a pain free moment or three? If Ya don't ask, you may not get! - j

Hi Dahlek, Do you have to stop work completely at a certain age in the USA ? our retirement age for men is 65 but you can keep going if you want to, i know 2 blokes that still work full time at 68, 69, if the boss still wants you and you feel fit enough, why not ? even on a part time basis as it seems like a huge waste of experience not being used up.
I had to retire due to med problems but much earlier than i wanted to, after 5 attempts of trying to return back to work, i eventually had to admit i just couldn't do it anymore, i had a great boss too that understood and really tried to help me a lot, but thats the way it goes sometimes.
The first few weeks of not having to set the alarm and waking up naturally felt real good, after working mostly 12 hours days / 6 days a week / sometimes a couple of months of 7 days a week, year after year.
When i stopped work, i didn't have a clue what i was going to do during the day, i was on really strong pain meds which limited me heaps but i found that i could still do things i wanted to do, except driving [ because of the meds] but it just took me a lot longer than it used to.
I'm sure he will find plenty things to do, and appreciate all the extra time he has to do it with once retired, a lot depends on what he likes doing himself.
These days for me, there isn't enough hours in a day to do want i want to do, and i don't know now were i found the time to go to work beforehand

Brian