Know what you need????

A VIRTUAL PET!!!! They can't knock you down, make you fall, WHATEVER!!!

Here you go!!!
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Digital pet
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Tamagotchi was a popular digital pet in the late 1990s.A digital pet, also known as a virtual pet, is a type of artificial human companion. They are usually kept for companionship or enjoyment. People may keep a digital pet in lieu of a real pet.

Digital pets are distinct in that they have no concrete physical form other than the hardware they run on. Interaction with virtual pets may or may not be goal oriented. If it is, then the user must keep it alive as long as possible and often help it to grow into higher forms. Keeping the pet alive and growing often requires 'feeding', grooming and playing with the pet. If the interaction is not goal oriented, the user can explore the character of the pet and enjoy the feeling of building a relationship with it. Often these games use realistic visual effects or interaction to make the pet appear alive and give a sense of reality to users.

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I know people who carry these things around!!!!
At least they don't have any broken bones.

lol

Melody

I remember those. One of my kids had one on a key chain.
I think I need something real, even if she is over-jealous. I can't remember ever not having a pet, except for the time after my divorce & when I was single for about a year or so. I remember the quiet and peacefulness distinctly.
I don't think that I'd do well with one of those digital pets.
If I had one, it would probably die!

You need a pet who makes MUFFINS & PATATAS!!!!

Yes indeed. That's what you need

Mel,
You oughta be a srraight-man for a comic.
I can think of at least 3 responses to that, but none of them
is printable on this site (hmm....always thinking about... )