Hello Featherbullet,

I'm praying for you that you'll get some relief physically and hope in your heart.

I know the pain can be tough and it's not hard to feel depressed. But please believe, you have so many who care about you. Don't do anything to harm yourself. It'll be two weeks tomorrow since a cousin of mine committed suicide and it has torn so many up inside, friends as well as family.

Don't give up. Keep searching for ways to get help, both mentally and physically.

We're all here for you. Hang in there. I'll be keeping you in prayer.


LillyLee

http://www.foresttennant.com/pdfs/In...inSurvival.pdf

Wow-aussie99 thank you SO much for this.
Honestly, best gift /tip/support I've received yet.
I've forwarded the link to my pain management doctor. Hope he changes his mind about always trying to keep people off opiates and just meditate.. HATE that. This is proof that its dangerous to be off meds with IP
Thanks again!!!!

Any time my feathered friend. And please do me one favour and believe me when I say many many people have moved on from this board due to recovering including myself for over 3 years. DO NOT, under any circumstance throw in the towel. You have so much life ahead of you,and you will recover. Please just keep on telling yourself that.

Yes, keep us updated featherbullet. And we're always here to help.

I will do my best. I will try everything possible to alleviate the pain, find the cause, manage the symptoms, ...even if it means crashing once in a while I guess..

I have a wonderful family to live for ( not my own..I mean my parents and sister, as well as niece)
If I didn't have them I may not have made it this far.
Thanks everyone. You got me over the hump. Oh and I start fentanyl today. Maybe that will take the edge off enough for me to move forward . Wish me luck

Wow fentanyl works really well. My pains down to a 1/10 for the most part.
This came at a good time. I'm able to focus on other things like a new job and mental health now. Wohooo!
I recommend ( for the opiate tolerant only of course)

what an uplifting presentation telling it how its is with no BS. IP is a quick ticket to an early grave due to organ damage instigated by the bodys inability to remain neutral during periods of chronic pain and turning on itself

Interesting analysis about soldiers dying quickly without morphine, not through blood loss or gunshot vital organ damage but due to the body unable to deal with the pain itself.

Feather - you are not alone! I do know it can feel like that a lot though when dealing with all on this board do. My issues started when I was 27. I remained undiagnosed for 5 years, with all the tests the doctors did came back negative. It was incredibly stressful, and painful during that time. I lost work, self-esteem, faith, and general trust for anyone in the medical world. My depression was spiralling to a point it was physically hurting me by making my symptoms and life in general worse. I avoided psychiatric medicines as much as possible and would tell the doctors if they would just find/fix what was wrong the depression would go away, as I am a generally happy person. Finally, I gave in and tried Cymbalta, as the doc sold it to me as a nerve medicine, not just for depression. (it happens to be on the list from the link above for meds that help too) My depression lifted, and it helped in so many ways. I could leave my house again, and be active in recovering from the horrible flairs I had been having at the time. These days, I'm having a new/different (for me) flair, and I feel myself spiralling down again. It helps to talk to people. To reach out. So posting here was a good start. You are not alone. You are even inspiring. Today, I set up an appointment with my therapist, because my own spiral is growing too large for me to handle by myself, or burden my family with. Your post made me think about me, and what worked for me in the past and how I was feeling today. Now, I'm 34 and I still have many "why me" and "I'm too young to be this old" days. Take one day at a time. Keep a journal of what works. Keep lists of whqt is good in your life. Or just good for that day, or maybe even what's good for that moment. Just remember, you are not alone.

Hi Abby -comforting to know you relate. Both with age and with depression. I'm glad that cymbalta helped you for some time. I tried that one..after 5 days my bladder went into spasms and I had to stop. Sigh..I never do well with psychiatric meds. I have some 5 htp thattge pharmacist said was safe to try. The next time I get suicidal or depressed, I will try it. You cannot mix it with anti depressants though.
Luckily the fentanyl is helping a lot. Its strong and I know not everyone believes in taking them..to that I raise my middle finger because I can't function without them. Doctors are scared to death to prescribe them though here in Canada . Luckily I see a pain specialist.
Anyway I hope you get some support during the time.
Its great to have a place like this to come and get motivated again when we want to give up.

And regarding the link to the IP patients guide...I completely understand how pain could kill a person. Scary isn't it?
Feather