[HeyJoe]

Braintalk is back to normal speed again.

[cyclelops]

I gave up on the other forum over a year ago due to problems. One thing I do have to say about forums is, whatever you put on here goes worldwide. Just like secondlife is a fantasy world, you never know who you are really talking to, who you are giving personal information to, who is using what you put online and what some of those people are up to. It is a shame that people gave money to a scammer, but there are millions of scammers online.

Just look at the success of something like Secondlife....it makes money..go figure.

Sick people are very vulnerable to snake oil sellers, and not all snake oil dealers appear to be what they are. Studies have shown that people develop emotional intimacy much faster online, because they can not read body language of the other person. Body language gives clues to whether or not we can trust others. It is subtle, but online, you lose that component of communication totally. People get online and are more uninhibited, thinking they are anonymous. We are not. It is amazing the information a real pro can glean from the net.

Part of taking care of your health is protecting your privacy. Please be cautious posting medical records, names of docs etc. That is best done by private communications after you get a better feel for the person you are communicating with.

Remember, anything you say online exists forever, and can and will be held against you! While cyberspace is great, it also holds a lot of potential for abuse.

Secondlife?? I really do not get it. Call me old fashioned, but my real life is enough, I do not need to buy 'land' in a virtual community. Amazing what people can sell!

[Jomar]

Thanks for mentioning the online safety and cautions.

[MelodyL]

Let me paraphrase something my son told me on Mother's Day. He said "Mom, I'll be a millionaire by the time I'm 40".

My reply: "you've never worked a day in your life (he's 26), so how do you make a statement like that?"

His reply?? "DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH MONEY CAN BE MADE IN SECOND LIFE??? YOU MAKE LINDEN DOLLARS, THEN YOU TURN AROUND AND SELL THE LINDEN DOLLARS FOR REAL DOLLARS". He's right, I checked.

I also went into Second Life to see what the heck all the commotion was about. All it is that there is a representation of you in this virtual world. It's called an Avatar. You design it, you make it look however you wish it to look. It can be a human, a robot, an animal, a demon with wings. Whatever it is and you want to pay for it (these are called skins), you can create whatever you wish to have your avatar look like in this world.

I saw the most BEAUTIFUL women in one of the virtual islands. She had an outfit on that you would see a movie star wearing to a premier. I never saw such a gown, draped on her body, like shimmery satin. And she looked human. Nothing like an artificial being. I text messaged her asking how she looked like that. It seems, you can pay to look exactly however you wish. And this woman was a designer INSIDE SECOND LIFE. She designed the skins, the outfits, etc. etc. I mean, she looked like a dream. She was standing on a beach with the most realistic looking ocean I have ever seen. I mean, it looks like you can just jump in the water.

But Second Life is all virtual. So if a person has nothing in the real world, I would assume they go into this fantasy world and it helps them cope with whatever stresses in life they have to cope with. I mean, just imagine, you can look however you wish to look, and do whatever you wish to do.

But you pay for this privilege. I mean, there is a free account but the people who pay for stuff, well, they look human and they have virtual apartment. And they gamble. And any money they get (in Linden Dollars), well it stays in their account.

To me personally, it's all nonsense. But my son lives in this world sometimes for up to 10 hours a day. He's addicted. Plain and simple.

Just like his compulsive gambling.

It's a real shame, believe me. And John Lester, well, he just encourages all this virtual stuff and people DO NOT LEARN TO COPE WITH THE REAL STUFF THAT GOES ON IN LIFE.

Just my opinion.
Melody

[DocJohn]

Just to clarify something...

JL did not take the money donated to BT and start another business. He used the money to pay the monthly connection costs for a server for BT, as well as a new server itself.

It is my understanding that the money BT continues to make today continues to fund the connection to the Internet, as well as 4 islands in Second Life.

JL is an employee of Linden Labs, the company behind Second Life. He had nothing to do with the company's founding.

John

[cyclelops]

OK, I have a tendency to speak my mind, however I usually can restrain it...this time I can not.

I have an adopted daughter with Aspergers. She doesn't appear handicapped, and in fact is very intelligent, however, she is very handicapped. While I was ill she was in a voluntary placement that allowed her unmitigated access to the internet. She discovered these fantasy life sites. She came back so hooked and obsessed with that crap she would sell her soul for it. (I am missing stuff) She is now in an institution. We specifically said not to allow her access to the internet. Aspergers people have a very hard time controlling obsessions to fantasy stuff.

It is a shame, but another life ruined because of the net. her obsessions were hard enough to deal with prior to the exposure to these sites. It is like CRACK to these people. They have to have it, and many of them are afflicted with autism spectrum conditions.

The internet is fabulous, however who benefits from sites that give people fantasy lives they PAY for? Isn't that like 'adult' sites, or even like games that teach people to fire at will with the precision of a military trained sniper? NO GOOD comes from this. There is a sucker born every minute and these unethical conscience-less people know that.

Any one who invests in this crap is an opportunist who preys on the illness of others. Yes, that is judgmental, and probably not politically correct, but at times you just gotta say what you gotta say.

End of rant.

[MelodyL]

Cyclelops:

I'm not sure if you are aware of this, but my son has ASPERGERS also. He was diagnosed 4 years ago. He left home at age 20, and began gambling and that was it for him. He went on SSI, they gave him an apartment, a computer, (the worse thing in the world for a person with AS), and dvd. well, let's say he has it all.

He is absolutely obsessed with Second Life. Now I might be wrong, but I think the majority of people inside Second Life might just have Aspergers.

I mean, I wish my son was like the guy on Boston Legal. He might jump up and down, and make funny sounds, but he's an attorney for goodness sake. My son, and others like him, well, they just gave him everything so he's not motivated to work. He's absolutely brilliant and could have been a web designer. But no, Second Life, day and night (when he's not gambling).

oh well

Melody

[Yorkiemom]

Check out Doc John's picture... I think all docs, including, and especially Doctor Fred, should be required to post their pictures somewhere, so we could evaluate them before making an appointment...

Cathie

[rfinney]

I can understand why those of you with a son or daughter who has Asperger's are so upset when they appear to abandon their "real" life in favor of the "virtual reality" of SL. I am no fan of John Lester. Even if he did not technically take people's money and divert it to SL, I firmly believed he abandoned all the good folks of BT. I find his attitude and behavior nothing short of reprehensible. And as far as I know, he never provided an accounting of the monies he took in, however I will take DocJohn's word for what happened.

I also do not want to stand up for SL. I have a number of questions about how "members," especially those who may be vulnerable, like those with Asperger's, are recruited into SL. I have heard some of them proclaim the value they receive, but I wonder just what that value is and what it does for them.

However, I do think we should all be careful in assuming that SL has had a malevolent influence on these individuals. You may not like that your son or daughter appears to have given over their life to a virtual reality site. But what we don't know is what would their life be like if they were not involved in SL. I am not hearing that these individuals went from a higher functioning life to a lower functioning life. I know of so many cases where the individual was essentially isolated from their family and not effectively functioning or relating in the "real" world.

I am a clinical psychologist and I got to see the pain and heartbreak, and it is both horrific and tragic. The real culprit here is the disorder itself. Individuals so afflicted may really have no other choice than to live the kind of life they live. But the pain for parents is almost unimaginable, and the person with the disorder just can't understand, let alone empathize with their parents.

Who knows what these folks would be doing now if they were not involved in SL? I have no doubt that some would be dead, others would have serious alcohol, drug, or gambling problems. It may be that for some of them SL has become like a virtual halfway house. Maybe they can get enough structure and support to keep them going and to keep them away from worse things.

I would just clarify again that I am in no way defending SL. I have lots of questions and doubts. But I have seen this exact phenomenon quite a few times, except that instead of SL, it was some other group or outlet.

What hurts me the most is that we in mental health really do not yet have the answers to give to parents whose lives have been wrenched in this way. You might think that we are just a short step away from the breakthroughs we need to deal with such disorders. You can read about this neuroscience discovery and that pharmacological development and so forth, but none of it as yet adds up to anything that is remotely close to the kind of breakthrough that will truly make a difference.

I can certainly understand the anger at SL. No one has any answers and no one can really help very much, if at all. Most parents in this kind of nightmare have been given the run around, along with a heaping dose of uncaring professionals and overworked social service workers. When a target like SL comes along, I think it might be irresistible for so much of the frustration and uncertainty to get directed towards them.

I hope the best for all those who have a child in this or a similar scenario.

rafi

[cyclelops]

I am a medical professional and my daughter was into studying bugs. She knew everything there was to know about bugs. Had she not been introduced to this addictive crap on the net, she might be an entomologist.

So if I get the reasoning here, is, Crack is OK, it is just that some people can't keep their lives in order. It is OK for 'adult' sites that exploit children to be on the net, because, it is just the sickos that get into it who ruin their own lives...oh, and the lives of innocent kids?

It is hard to believe that cartoon characters could be addicting. TV, chat rooms, casinos, booze, food, exercise you name it....do we ban it all? We can't do that.

No autisitic spectrum person is better off for living in a virtual world. Aspergers kids, especially, can relate to eachother, real world, real time. They can become experts at many things if they don't get hooked on these ethereal characters that drain their budgets.

I didn't allow my kid on the net, so I am irate that others did. Eventually she would have found it as an adult, but I was hoping before that we could help her use her incredible brain for the betterment of her life and humanity. I would rather hear every detail about every genre of dragonfly than hear one word about some 'avatar'.

She will likely end up dead or in jail trying to get money to support this habit. She has lied, stolen, and manipulated to get on the net and get access. It isn't just this website, it is others like it, you can feed your 'pet' or 'build a new you' whatever.

Unlike a gambler, or alchoholic, she has a brain that will not yield to treatment programs. Promoting living in a fantasy world is not much different than leaving a schizophrenic untreated. Sorry I disagree with the premise that lives are improved by living virtually instead of living fully. We should concentrate our efforts on linking Aspergers individuals together as real people, and concentrate on assistive technology to free the more severe cases of autism of their blocks to communication.

My motto. Get real.