[MelodyL]

I completely agree with Cyclelops:

If my son had never gotten that computer and stayed on it after school, well, actually, it began with the nintendo games, the playstations games.

You see, moms are tired, and when they see their kids in front of the tv or playing a game, and the kid is quiet, well who is tell them, go outside and bring your kid to the park so he can play with other kids. I did that by the way. Every day after school, I took my son to the playground. EVERY DAY!!!

When he got old enough, we got the computer. No computer games then by the way. By then, he had the playstation, the super nintendo. And it kept him quiet and isolated. Now I had only one child. How would it have been different if I had more than one, I have no idea. The same way, that I would not know how it wouldn't be different if Frank had not had aspergers. If he didn't have aspergers, and he got the playstation and super nintendo, he might have invited some friends over and they would all be in front of my tv playing the games.

But after a while Frank liked his isolation. Sure, we had him in therapy, we took him to the Jewish Board of Family Services to be evaluated. They said "social anxiety disorder". He would not go on anti-depressants. He would not go to groups. He just went to school, came home and went on the computer. Now if one of those PROFESSIONALS had had the decency to tell us about ASPERGERS, maybe would have thown out the computer, and put him in a therapy program geared to his Aspergers. You see, Aspergers WAS ON THE DSM 4 Manual for mental health. Frank was 15 or 16 then and he threatened to kill his father. I now know much about Aspergers. I know that MANY OF THEM HAVE RAGES, ARE MANIPULATORS, and can get exactly what they want. The difference between a person with Aspergers and a regular person is the Aspergers person is so smart, he can manipulate his way around anything.

I will always wonder why my son's psychologist at the Jewish Board of Family Services never told me "you know Melody, there is a disorder named Aspergers, and it was named after Hans Aspergers, in 1944, and he was a doctor who watched kids playing alone, and they always wanted to be by themselves. Why wasn't I told this?

Now kids are in special programs geared to their specific gifts. And boy do they have specific gifts. They are usually computer geniuses. They say Einstein has Aspegers, and Bill Gates has Aspergers.

Many people in prison are wrongfully imprisoned because they should not be in prison, they should be in a group home getting ABA therapy.

But was I told any of this? NOOOO!!!! I just went from therapist to therapist, from wrong diagnosis to wrong diagnosis. By the way, all these kids getting the ADD diagnosis and the Oppositional Defiance Disorder diagnosis, well MANY OF THEM are now found to be Aspergers.

To me, if a kid has a predisposition for an Obsessive Compulsve Disorder, the worst thing you can get them is a video game, or let them go on the internet.
They will get money any way they can to fuel their obsessions.

My son's obsession is gambling and Second Life. He lives, breathes and exists just for these two things. He couldn't care less about what this has done to his family. How could he? His brain has been fueled by all this Second Life Nonsense. You want to know what he might have been had he never gone on Second LIfe?

Well, since my son had never gotten less than 100% on any test he took in school, and since he got a full scholarship to college, and graduated with a degree in web design, well he could have been a web designer.

But the fact that gambling is so readily available and Second Life is so addicting, well forget it.

I would tell any parent of a kid with Aspergers, to move to the Amish village where there are no tv's internet, or dvd players. I would tell them to get their kid to use their hands, to build, use their minds and brains to learn to socialize. Get them involved with group activities. Anything but tv, and the computer and video games.

I know, I sound crazy. WE need techology, but with an asperger person, they have to re-wire their brain first. They can learn the technology AFTER THEY GROW UP!!!

This is just my humble opinion. And I'll never post about it again.

But it does destroy families, believe me.

Melody

[cyclelops]

Mel

Your son is 10 years older than my daughter, and I probably had more info than you did, but it was me, not a doctor, or shrink who contacted a world reknown doctor and expert on Aspergers years back. Dozens of shrinks, therapists, neurologists, and no one could figure out what caused every day to be 'Ground Hog Day' as the movie goes.

Back a few years, AS was thought to affect only boys. Girls have it too. No one believed me that this was what she had.

I had normal kids who could use computers and video games and then go outside and play in the country (so thankful we had land). They did normal things, music, track, soccer, gymnastics....not this kid. Like I said, my kid had no computer access, I knew it would lock her in forever. She knew a ton about bugs and dinosaurs, until some well meaning person decided it was great for her to have unmitigated usage of the net. She even told the shrink sometimes she thinks she is a cartoon character. It is like the movie 'Tron' if I remember correctly.

This my last word on it too. Sites like that sell an addictive product to a very vulnerable population and there is probably little that can be done about it. Not very many normal kids or adults are building creatures on the net that they have to pay to feed...(most of us our busy feeding ourselves literally not virtually.) Now there is an idea....virtual feeding weight loss systems! Hey-some wizard should take that and run with it! Eat your virtual 2 lb burger for $5 worth of 'intestinal incentive'. Put it on your visa card. It is worth $6 when it comes out the other end...that is what these sites are selling. That stinks.