As a sufferer of what ever I have....I get so mad at myself for lashing out at my wonderful wife....she certainly does not deserve it...but when one is so crummy miserable.....I wish I could stop myself from lashing out....when I do need to take a time out on my own crummy behavior.

There has to be a pain clinic close to you. One with the counseling you seem to need. Have you explored this option?

Billye

That is the key...what we do about it is key as well. The meds we take, come with LOTS of cautions. Don't start at full dose, don't stop suddenly...may cause side effects [some truly nasty], Do take regularly...Never an explanation of the why's of it all.

Jack just go hug your wife, tell her she's a HERO!! Especially for putting up with you and plain old let Her tell You what she's been feeling throughout your whole onset and search for diagnoses and treatments...Then AFTER you have let her put out her take on things [be really patient here, please...give her a chance] let her know how and what all YOU have been feeling about how folks react to you and why you feel that way...
People around us neuropathy folks simply do NOT know what to say! Unless they have experienced any form of chronic pain[s], they simply have no frame of reference! Folks who care really, simply don't know what to do!
Complaining doesn't do much...except turn folks off or scare them...turn it to some constructive outlets...getting educated and then educating is one option.
Mood swings? Well, going 'on' then 'off' of such meds as we often take have very serious and irreversable consequences...I have been trying to find research papers about the s/e's of a sudden withdrawal of 'neurotropic' medications and the effects/affects on personality and function...I see no documented research anywhere other than anecdotal and in the medical/pharmacy fields a straight out DO NOT DO THAT! Not responsible for consequences if not done under a doc's guidance. In other words analyse what sets you off and what soothes you down...where are there consistencies and triggers? You really need to work with those who live with you and love you, so that they have even a little idea of what you are feeling and what all that causes in the way you deal with and react to them at any given time...
I am surprised at times that my own husband hasn't given up on me...He didn't understand at all until his own diabetes gave him a little bit of neuropathy...Now I am NOT an advocate of anyone else ever having to experience the pain I have, but, I am certainly grateful that he's had an appetizer of my main meal...so to speak. We do what we can, in the limits of what we can do. Accepting that there are limits and learning what they are is next...Then living with it ...well, it progresses according to your plain old stubborness to go with any given program...You can always change 'programs' but give each one six months TRULY AND DOCUMENTED by regimen...before switching to another...otherwise one can and does get classified as 'neurotic' - I don't think you are...you hurt and are trying to get relief...keep in mind there are no quick fixes...I learned that early on... and I did go thru a mourning period of what I WAS...and have sort of reinvented myself...At times I like what I see, others not. We are HUMAN...don't forget that!

Now go hug that special person and TALK! Really talk, let all the pains of the pains come out. Get those poisons out and start to heal - ideally together. - - j

Abbott Northwestern Hospital
800 E 28th St.
Mpls, Mn.
621 863-4000
Largest not-for-profit
They are connected to St. Kenny Rehab.

I have been to Mayo Clinic

But since i have been checking this out for mayself,since it's near my son.
Once again they do it all,the 30 yr. sister-in-law with PN has gotten
wonderfull care there.
They do it all including help with your crappy attitude,with your wife,
and honest she can participate. I'm sure you would have no problem
getting help there. You i'm sure know where they are located.

You really need to get help,they will find whatever help you need.
I would be happy to take you and your wife out to lunch when i'm
there. My son at the age of 29 has a high stress job like you. He get's
homeless Children off the Streets from 12 to 18. This hospital pays
for the prom for the kids who Graduate from high school.
I found that we can wring our hands or just get that help and some relief.

Have you called them?? i've given you the imformation before. I know
you love her,get somewhere together,and much luck.. Sue

I hope Jack doesn't get mad at me for posting this. His insurance company has turned down his requests to go to a pain management clinic. A number of us, including myself, have suggested this, but at this point, it is not a possibility.

Cathie

He has a good friend,do you think it's the dig thing. I wonder still why
he can't find a support pain group that is private. When i started mine
at least we talked. It has helped the problems between the husbands
and wifes. So many good idea's for free, and least it got you out of the
house. When my brother worked at Fords he paid not much more,and
moved up a bit for better insurance.. But we don't know how deep his
pockets are or even if it can be done. Sue

I think I replied on your other post about therapy. I understand there are certain barriers but also may be some fears of going to therapy. In the past with my eating disorder and depression did many free support groups. It doesn't have to be for the exact problem. I even have been to aa and never took a drink but its about learning coping mechanisms.Also since I have to pay out of pocket for therapy I work with a therapist on a sliding scale which can be an option. Its ok to reach out for help and its the stronger person who asks and gets help.

again, for all the support. I am going to my GP next week to discuss a game plan that I can and will stick with. It doesn't matter anymore whether I do or don't have the real deal PN....the fact of the matter is.....my feet hurt! It is nerve pain....whether caused by the surgery or not....I plan on staying on the Lyrica and give it a chance.

I'd like to apologize to Jack for suggesting he seek help at a pain therapy clinic. I'm a little "dense" right now due to unaccustomed pain medications because of the sacrum fracture. It seems my memory is affected. After reading Cathie's post I went back and checked past posts and realized that what I was saying was redundant. I do apologize. I'll certainly be more careful in the future. And folks, do not be afraid to say "Billye you idiot, you (or someone else) has already said that!!!".

Billye

I must admit i felt the same way,also not feeling up to part.
And Jack good for you hang in there with that med.
The hospital i mentioned does have some good non-for-profit
programs..My lunch offer still goes,i'll be the one staggering down
the street.. Sue