Seams:

There is an item on the market called FEBREZE.

Buy it, you can spray it on anything and everything smells clean and fresh.

Use it on the guy's socks.

It's fabulous!!!

Mel

I t does work well,and i think it would be funny if Terri sprayed the guys feet
it would just show not everybody is perfect like this dude thought he
was. And i know a lot of people who date and are in wheelchairs,i do
when i need to, because i'm Sue, Bob is in the hospital he
went to get his ESI L 4-5 now he can't move his legs,hope he's better
tomorow. it's hard for him to keep the girls apart,and he needs his rest.

due to my spine/back issues I went through periods of extreme disability. There were many times when I was not able to walk/move. I at one point was almost hunched over all the time from muscle spasms/contortions.

Very often I wondered "what the heck I will end up as"? I worried about becoming disabled.

My mum then said "you know Liz Taylor don't you"? I said "yeah"?

She said "One week Liz is disabled, and the other week she's not. One week she's in a wheelchair and the other week she's getting married. One week she's getting a hip replacement and the next week she's in the Bahamas. One day she's bald and the next time you see her she has her signature big hair.
You just never know what life is going to bring, and sometimes you just have to live in the present and take it as it comes."

That philosophy and the imagery of Liz has somehow carried me through from that day to this,and everytime I am feeling desperate, I think of LIZ!! And sometimes I have a bit of a laugh because I know exactly what mum is talking about.

None of us know what the future holds anymore than than we did before we got PN. So I guess there's not much sense in worrying for things that might occur.

Hang in there Seams--there is someone out there for both of us.

--the two of you would have to share him? How would that work?

SeamsLike.....,
There are people out there who can love a person for who she is - not what the disability is. My son is wheelchair bound for life, and had a shallow girlfriend (and mother of his 3 yo son). When the accident happened (last Sept) she was all lovey and 'devoted' (kinda). Lately she's been seeing other men (or at least 1 other one).
He's not giving up. There are so many incidents of wheelchair invalids finding a decent significant other that he knows he'll find someone that loves him for him and sees past the wheelchair.
That said, you aren't necessarily destined to be chair bound.
You may need a cane, maybe even a walker, possible one of those little scooter things to go to all the amusement parks and walks on the boardwalk and everything that all of us want to do.
Don't get down on yourself. Gloom and Doom is not in the cards.
You had one experience and the guy was up-front with it.
Be thankful. Try even to maintain some sort of friendship if possible.
But stop trying so hard to hook-up with someone. It'll happen.
Usually its when you aren't looking for it.
Remember stress is a big enemy.
Work on that. Not on men.

First I'm sorry and can relate to this even before the pn with my anorexia where I lost a lot of relationships. I understand its hard for others to watch people struggle but to me a true friend or sig other is there through the good and bad. In life we never know what may happen and I think others need to think of something may happen to them and how would they feel left alone. This issue and my past has really showd me who the true people are. Also that for myself hiding my feelings to protect others only harms myself. You have to hold to hope and in my recovery I have met amazing people that I wouldn't trade for the world. You never know who you may meet through a support group,coffee house,so on. Also we forget others have issues and who knows what this brought up for that guy or if he is just looking for all fun then you deserve better. As for the outlook of illness, I know for me I have ups and downs in my mood but trying to stay in the day and take 1 day at a time. Take care and your not alone.

We all have to have our one day Pity Parties... and mine is over!

Thanks for coming and bringing the great gifts!

I especially liked the one from Bob about his son. I have read all the posts about him and feel like I know that kid. He knows he'll find someone that loves him for him

Aussie, Thank you for the story about Liz Taylor, that is a good one! I've been told many times I have eyes like her, so that is a good reminder! If "that" woman can keep coming back, why can't I? Live in the moment! What a great gift to give someone!

And Deb, If I find one good enough, I'll share him with you! You would do the same for me I'm sure! ...... Wouldn't you? .... Deb? Oh,,, Deb? Are you there?

The first is....my younger sister had bone cancer as a child and had her leg amputated at 13. If that wasn't enough, she ended up with breast cancer about 6 years ago. 15 years ago, she married a wonderful man who is very loving and supportive. Her disability did not get in the way of her finding a man that could love her for who she is....secondly.....As a man...I do NOT have smelly socks....or feet!!!! I'm sure we could find just as many stinky socks/feet attached to the female species of the world.

Who ever gets the next guy just make sure he has a twin, no sharing that way