What's next?

KnowNothingJon · 10-12-2015, 10:39 AM

A few Sundays ago I took my wife and two kids out for errands. We went to two stores. This "simple" trip took enough out of me I had to take a four hour nap. That's right, one hour longer than Gilligan's fateful tour.

I already spend a lot of my weekend and evening convelescing, preparing to be able to work the next day. It would be great if it were not necessary. I am working toward a game plan for if/when necessary or not, we are able to press on with little disruption to our regularly scheduled way of life, but I was really disturbed by this day.

This was four hours of my prime time with my favorite people. So I thought about my job and how there are other positions in the same title that are less stressful. They also mean there is less to little chance of advancement, but I think I am past the point of fooling myself on that.

Despite ridiculous adherence to lifestyle changes and diet for two years the only thing advancing is my symptoms.

So I thought about all the folks before me who were infirmed at my place of employment and the oral history of their treatment. I opened the patient portal to my neurologist and requested a letter requesting the best, least stressful accomodations within my job title for me.

The response- What exactly would you like it to say?

Now I had no plans to lead with this letter. I just wanted it in my pocket in case it was needed. I sent back what I thought was pertinent and within an hour received a response that the letter was in the mail.

As if kismet, certain unrelated things happened that caused openings within the department I hoped to end up in. I wanted to speak with my current boss before speaking to the big wig about this all.

She knows about my situation. Her support of my position, including my want to move away from her team left me misty on the road to complete bawling. She told me she wanted what was best for me, though was sorry to lose a solid worker and that she loved me. The feeling is mutual.

So, off to talk to the big boss, who thankfully did not require me to supply the letter, though I do have it in my satchel that goes with me to work daily. The change in job function should take place early next month and with it a precipitous drop in stress.

I really didn't see what else I had to change. I don't have a give less switch as pertains to the job function I had. My old boss pointed out that advancement opportunties are around the corner. I had to tell her it could be right in front of me, I'd have to say no.

My quality of life is far too compromised. I don't want towait until it is much lower or too low to make a meaningful change.

I just know I am weary of my children putting me to bed. It would be fine if I were eldery and they were grown, natural in a way. But that is not the case. Of course I can't know if this will help or how much, but it is worth a try.

So, that is where I am at. Stepping sideways and back in hopes I do not have to step away from work.

Hopefully it works. If not, I will argue endlessly with anyone who has the audacity to claim I did not try with all I had.

TLDR synopsis- I am taking a lesser version of the same job hoping to reduce my stress in the hopes it improves quality of life while effectively destroying upward mobility.

My best,

Jon

St George 2013 · 10-12-2015, 10:58 AM

I truly feel you are doing the right thing for you and your family. You have been miserable and I think this is going to change things for you

Please keep us posted.

Your friend,

Debi

pinkynose · 10-12-2015, 11:15 AM

I admire you for making that decision. Imo you have your priorities in the right order. I read somewhere "You'll never say on your deathbed, "I wish I had worked more."

Years ago I had an opportunity to go up the work ladder. I chose to go wide instead of up because I didn't want to become an administrator further removed from the reasons I got into my job in the 1st place. I have never regretted that decision. I don't think you'll regret your decision. I am happy for you.

icelander · 10-12-2015, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KnowNothingJon

A few Sundays ago I took my wife and two kids out for errands. We went to two stores. This "simple" trip took enough out of me I had to take a four hour nap. That's right, one hour longer than Gilligan's fateful tour.

I already spend a lot of my weekend and evening convelescing, preparing to be able to work the next day. It would be great if it were not necessary. I am working toward a game plan for if/when necessary or not, we are able to press on with little disruption to our regularly scheduled way of life, but I was really disturbed by this day.

This was four hours of my prime time with my favorite people. So I thought about my job and how there are other positions in the same title that are less stressful. They also mean there is less to little chance of advancement, but I think I am past the point of fooling myself on that.

Despite ridiculous adherence to lifestyle changes and diet for two years the only thing advancing is my symptoms.

So I thought about all the folks before me who were infirmed at my place of employment and the oral history of their treatment. I opened the patient portal to my neurologist and requested a letter requesting the best, least stressful accomodations within my job title for me.

The response- What exactly would you like it to say?

Now I had no plans to lead with this letter. I just wanted it in my pocket in case it was needed. I sent back what I thought was pertinent and within an hour received a response that the letter was in the mail.

As if kismet, certain unrelated things happened that caused openings within the department I hoped to end up in. I wanted to speak with my current boss before speaking to the big wig about this all.

She knows about my situation. Her support of my position, including my want to move away from her team left me misty on the road to complete bawling. She told me she wanted what was best for me, though was sorry to lose a solid worker and that she loved me. The feeling is mutual.

So, off to talk to the big boss, who thankfully did not require me to supply the letter, though I do have it in my satchel that goes with me to work daily. The change in job function should take place early next month and with it a precipitous drop in stress.

I really didn't see what else I had to change. I don't have a give less switch as pertains to the job function I had. My old boss pointed out that advancement opportunties are around the corner. I had to tell her it could be right in front of me, I'd have to say no.

My quality of life is far too compromised. I don't want towait until it is much lower or too low to make a meaningful change.

I just know I am weary of my children putting me to bed. It would be fine if I were eldery and they were grown, natural in a way. But that is not the case. Of course I can't know if this will help or how much, but it is worth a try.

So, that is where I am at. Stepping sideways and back in hopes I do not have to step away from work.

Hopefully it works. If not, I will argue endlessly with anyone who has the audacity to claim I did not try with all I had.

TLDR synopsis- I am taking a lesser version of the same job hoping to reduce my stress in the hopes it improves quality of life while effectively destroying upward mobility.

My best,

Jon

Upward mobility does not = happiness. In fact usually the opposite.

zkrp01 · 10-12-2015, 01:30 PM

I feel you have bought yourself time with a side of peace. Good Luck, Ken in Texas.

mrsD · 10-12-2015, 01:42 PM

I am wondering if you ever tried acetyl carnitine?

This may help with the fatigue. The carnitine enables the mitochondria to move in fatty acids for energy if glucose is low.
It can strengthen heart muscle, and skeletal muscle and provide some energy.

Start at 500mg a day and increase by 500mg /week and see if you get benefits up to 2000mg a day. Take in divided doses, as GI absorption reaches a limit maximum per dose.

some studies:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15616239

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2430690/

KnowNothingJon · 10-12-2015, 02:00 PM

I did at the outset for about six months but it was rotated out. Perhaps I will rotate it back in.

KnowNothingJon · 10-12-2015, 02:24 PM

Yeah, I'll rotate it back in. Why not, eh?

Icelander- couldn't agree more. There was only so high I was willing to go on said ladder and it would have been for my family. This choice makes more sense for my family than any monetary one, though.

Ken- It is indeed the proper choice. I have a rigorous work ethic and a boneheaded style at times that can work against as much as for me. I'm just glad I didn't wait to make a call like this until it "had" to be done. Perhaps this will offer me a glimpse at halting progression a bit.

Pinky- I agree, work has always been a function of necessity for me. With two pipsqueeks it alters that attitude a bit. Still, I often muse that simpler times were likely where my soul belonged, not the bottom line margins mean everything 21st century. But here I am, peephole open and amazed. So it goes.

Debi, I have high hopes and will certainly keep jabbering away.

To infinity, and beyond!

Jon