[St George 2013]

I have missed y'all so much ! Promising myself to get on everyday or at least every few days.

I just kind of shut down for a while. Not sure why but remembered how much this community has helped me and I miss the talks and wisdom that comes from people living with these different monsters.

For my SFN pain I am now on ER Morphine 30 mg twice a day. I was on oxycodone but per my PM dr's office policy I cannot take oxy if I'm taking Morphine. So I stopped taking oxy on Aug 10th. At my next appointment on Aug 29th I asked for something for breakthrough pain and he started me on 50 mg of Tramadol. I had sucked down so much Advil liquid gels between the two appointments I knew I needed something else. The 50 mg Tramadol barely, barely helped so I looked up info on Tramadol and saw that a lot of dr's start patients out at 100 mg. I've had 2 afternoons where I was almost in tears from the pain so I took 100 mg and it worked. That's between us ok ?
I will ask him to increase to 100 mg when I go back. That will probably be against office policy too !

Lots of old pains have come back since I've been off the oxy. I didn't take it everyday but it sure helped when I needed it.

I've tried to get use to the constant pain but that is a whole other story !

Due to the changes in meds and increased pain I've been unable to utilize the pool as I had hoped to. I try for 3 times a week but that rarely happens and I'll be closing it next month until May....makes me sad...it's so beautiful and I love looking at the water from the window of my bedroom.

I sure am missing my cranky, loving, old fella, Bubba. It's been a year, the adult kids and usually a grandchild or two are here every night for dinner that my daughter cooks. I try to help when I can but working in the kitchen hurts both my feet and hands and then the suffering starts. I miss cooking. Never thought I'd say that !

I've come to accept that life goes on for me and everybody else. Life is short and you have to enjoy what you can.

So.....my daughter has planned a girl's weekend a week from tomorrow on Panama City Beach, FL. I told her that was fine as long as she planned everything and all I had to do was get in the darn truck !

Then in Oct she has a trip planned for us to the North GA mountains. That will be me, my daughter, son-in-law and my son. Weird group but we all love being together. I suggested they go without me and have a 'mom free' weekend but they want me to go. That's just priceless isn't it ?

I remember telling my husband that he/we needed to go as often as we could because you never know when traveling will have to stop. He never listened to me unless it was a family vacation and I hate that he missed out on lots of fishing and Nascar trips with his buddies at work. You can't get that back so I'm taking my own advise.

I hope everyone is doing the best they can and wish I could just twinkle my nose and make everyone well and healthy.

Take care my dear friends and I'll be talking to y'all real soon

Debi from Georgia