How is this for wonky? Right now @ 330pm EST in VA it is barely above freezing and no snow.
300 miles south of me in Myrtle Beach it's a few degrees colder and snowing. It's above freezing and beautiful in Anchorage, Alaska!! We are all going to die.... |
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But hey, at least we'll die sober, and not acting like an idiot, puking, or fighting a monster hangover! ;) |
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But it would make for a cool scenario though... and somehow, the sober ones would get their act together, and survive/rebuild the world. (and then die at the end because some forgotten nukes self-exploded heheh. Hey, you need to keep the audience amused! ;) ). |
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Now that's a positive way to start the New Year....... |
While it is true I am not getting any worse I certainly am not improving. Today I am couch bound and every simple thing takes much effort so easier just to stay put. I can push through the pain/discomfort and it is actually helpful to keep busy and my mind occupied but it is the weakness that is very limiting and down right crippling.
There is a commercial for fibromyalgia, likely for the drug Lyrica. The woman says that to the outside world she appears "normal" but they are unaware of how she suffers. I can relate. I never speak about PN to anyone because other than a strange gait one would never know how bad I always feel. This week alone I have turned down two invitations to get out and the third one is too important and so I will try and just have to hope I am having a better day or can push through with mind over matter. I have decided meds for this won't be helpful as I can tolerate the burning and crazy firing nerves but it is the weakness that brings me to my knees quite literally. It is my understanding that there is no medication for that. Perhaps antidepressants would be a better way to go. My mental state is very dependent on my PN and what I am able to do on a given day. Perhaps if I could maintain a better attitude I could be more accepting of my limitations. In the interim I am hoping time will help and perhaps Icehouse will post some encouraging news on his therapy program. When I am this low I want to drink to be able to fly away for a bit but I won't. That is what has brought me to this pathetic existence and I only wish I smartened up earlier. |
I felt so much better after posting. Funny how that works.
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Glad you feel better though with a little "opening up". :) |
As for me, on a more positive note, a recent scan of my liver shows that my fatty or alcoholic liver shows reversal and blood tests show the enzymes are now within normal limits. As bad as PN is it could always be worse.
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The liver can't process the excess glucose and starts to store it. That's why it gets "fatter". It gets bad when there is scarring. Yours will be like new, so yes, that is good news (and again, you are being impatient. ;) ) Pain is one thing, but as Icehouse showed: with time, from wheelchair to cane to walking without too much trouble. So that will get better too, but that's at 6 years, not 6 months. That's 12 times the sober time you have, so you have a lot of time still to improve. Not saying that to belittle your 6 months, heavens no! But to put it into perspective. You have about 9% of his sober time. It will go in small steps, but it will happen. And yes, as you noticed: talk about it. Writing it out helps. Knowing that people will read it, will recognize and understand, helps. |
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