Hey Linter, welcome to this little corner of the internet.

As for reading part 1... personally I would recommend it. The short story is that some of us have gone from wheelchair to doing great things in their sobriety, and complaining about being tired after walking up a mountain....

It is never too late - although I do recognize the feeling of "oh, it'll probably be too late anyway, so why stop now?". Part 1 of this thread proves that this feeling is not accurate. At all.

Never forget: many or most of us have been where you are now. Maybe in slightly different situations, but mostly: the same. And we somehow found a way to improve, and to kick the habit.

It sounds to me you are ready to dive into finding the possibility of turning your life around. Reading part 1 may not get you sober, but it sure as heck can motivate you to try. It's difficult to just point out single posts: reading it as a whole will give you a lot more insight in the ups & downs (we are also honest when it's not all rose gardens and fluffy bunnies). But you will be surprised how some of us have changed their life for the better. Grab a coffee, you have some reading to do.

And obviously, we are always here to answer your questions. Don't hesitate, don't feel a bore or a drag: it's what this section is all about.

Good luck.

Now where's the blush smiley? Thank you.

Not sure about wisdom , but I can honestly say I'm 100% motivated and committed to do something useful. It does seem that the people I found can absolutely facilitate this desire, so I'm very happy with the way this is going.

When I think back to how difficult it was for me to find help* - and bear in mind I was even honest, no longer in denial, and actively ASKING for it - I ... want to be the guy I would have hoped to meet at that point in my life.

* I actually remember asking a doc - who was a stand-in for my GP - what my best options would be to get sober, a full year before I finally went to rehab. No, not just asking, begging! With tears in my eyes. I can still see myself sitting here in my office, on my bed, feeling totally lost, wanting to stop the madness.

I got little or no information from her, other than "Well, just stop drinking!". How very useful...

I had forgotten about this (!), but my wife reminded me of it yesterday. She knew I wanted to get sober, but didn't really know what to do either. She assumed the docs would know... If they had a system in place back then, or at least some information, some pointers, I might well have gotten sober a year earlier.

The organization I'm now involved with wants to put an end to situations like this, and offer information about help, about where you can go, as soon as. To addicts, their families, to doctors, psychs, to ERs... So if I ever doubt my motivation, I only have to think back to my earlier self, on my bed, in 2011...

SC,
Have you considered going to AA meetings? I can't say enough how they helped my daughter with her sobriety. She eventually had a what she called a "home base" where you are comfortable; especially when you feel yourself slipping in the substance taking over you mind. Also, so important to have a Sponsor.

She has many ailments too; but this gave her a purpose and even tho the story is told over and over again at AA; can hear it often enough. I myself attended some of the "open" meetings. Please don't let the PN be your only reason for sobriety....

As for PN, I have been dealing with this for a few years. After having a surgery, I noticed issues some numbing and pain with my legs and feet, as well as some imbalance. I mentioned this to my Primary Care doctor. He said that's the neuropathy. I hadn't even heard of PN at that time. Some days are better than others; but I try not to let that stop me from doing many of the everyday things.

Not sure what you are using for footwear; but I found wearing slip on velcro sandals without a back and about 1 or 1 1/4" overall heel has avoided setting off some of the pain issues. I only wear stockings when absolutely necessary and take off asap. They seem to aggravate the feet/ankle issues.

The hardest part for me dealing with the PN was acceptance. Then finding the best way to work with what I have in an effort to not let muscle atrophy, etc. or things worsen.

You can learn ways to work around the PN and still make yourself useful and enjoy life. There is a site with Physical Therapy for PN I (printed out the instructions/pictures). It is The Foundation For Peripheral Neuropathy. Look for it under Exercises for Peripheral Neuropathy. Hope some or any of this may be helpful to you. While not a quick fix, these may help your physical and mental outlook with improvement.

I will only add that the earlier pages offer advice as to vitamins supplements which may aid in the regeneration of nerves. I suspect much of my PN issues were not only the poisoning effect of the alcohol but poor nutrition as well, which is often an issue with alcoholics. To this day my brain still confuses hunger with the need/desire to drink.

Originally I went on a program with vitamins supplements for PN which were suggested by Mrs. D. You may look under some of her older post regarding PN. They certainly are worth using as well.

Doing some of the exercises recommended by The Foundation For Peripheral Neuropathy can also help keep your body from even more decline.

Motivation may help with the brain confusing signals. I mentioned sometime back my heavy 2 1/2 pks. a day cigarettes. For quite sometime, something would set this off in my head a flashing desire to have a cigarette even after having stopped for months, years.

It's still an addiction that has been compared to the nicotine being as addictive as cocaine and as difficult to stop. I never thought it would happen. But I know; if I take only 1 cigarette; it will be all over. There's no such thing as only 1 cigarette or 1 drink, etc.

Hang in there.

Hey! I resemble that remark....but he is right.

Reading Part 1 will take some time, but I assure you that it will lift your spirits with the improvement that we ALL have shared.

As Wide-O said, it's motivation, and we hope you find it here

BTW, welcome Linter!

Welcome to the thread Linter .

CIDP is an auto-immune disease with clinical signs which resemble alcoholic PN. Because of that its differential diagnosis usually involves asking a patient about his/her drinking. There is some information about alcoholic PN here Alcoholic Neuropathy: Background, Pathophysiology, Epidemiology.

We all have our personal stories, both here and in Part 1.

One of the hardest things that I have had to do was to accept that I needed professional help for both my alcohol abuse and clinical depression. Once I had done that everything else was relatively straightforward with some ups and downs along the way, which is normal.

Please keep posting here. Nobody will shout at you or judge you. We will all do the best that we can to offer you support and encouragement.

Wide-0,
You mention keeping open the idea getting a degree/certification. That could be a real plus. Because of my daughter's certification, she has also been able to work with a few of the local hospitals getting individuals she is working with into Rehab.

Another very important area you mentioned, is working with families who are often at a loss and greatly in need of support.

Hey Ger, I was in rehab many years ago, got out and did my 90 in 90 and worked a good program for a year. After that I dropped out and remained sober for over 13 years. I should probably go back to AA as I think I struggle with sobriety more than I should at this point. Perhaps I will give it a go. The support that the AA community offers is invaluable and I certainly have gained much just with our little group here.

thank you all for your kind welcomes, thoughts, advice and encouragement. muchly needed, muchly appreciated.

it's funny w/ the booze and my neurologist. when i go see him, he always asks if i've been drinking. if i say yes, he mutters something like, okay, alcoholic cidp. if i say no, he'll mutters something like, okay, idiopathic cidp.

doesn't really matter at this point. i know for a fact that the alcohol has damaged me severely and continues to. right now i'm mostly drinking to forget this girl i was more addicted to than in love with. i once smoked 2+ packs of cigarettes a day and quitting that, even though it took ten years of trying, was much less painful and gnawing and brain frying than trying to get myself freed from this particular person. but the booze helps, but i hope to stop again once i move from the west coast to the east coast in two or so weeks.

i said in my first post that i hoped to stop today. that's not going to happen. sigh.

my next job is to read round 1 of this great thread and see if i can derive some inspiration and motivation from it.

thanks again all for your thoughts.