Poopsicles are easier.
I remember having to shovel our driveway, steps and sidewalks PLUS my backyard so our dogs had a place.
I am currently animal free and just put down the last of my menagerie and the loss is huge. I have lost 3 of my beloved pets in 5 years and it is never easy, and in truth it is very excruciatingly painful.
Ahhh...I miss cleaning up my ol' man's messes. Funny to think of the things that one will miss). I also miss him begging at the table which I hated but I still save my leftovers, ....but he is not there. Yep, I am still adjusting and he left a huge hole.

I am not responsible enough to have a pet....I can barely keep myself alive

Icehouse, my thoughts exactly! My kids know I am mourning the loss of my dog and are relentless about how they want to get me a kitten. NO!!!!!!!!!
If Santa brings me a kitten I will kill him and them, but ugh, likely keep the kitten.

I'm with you. We used to have lots of animals, but over the years had to say goodby to (counts...) 10 cats. Patsy, our oldest Labrador (the one in my profile pic) is almost 14 (it's her birthday in 2 weeks...) and we are going to have to take that step too in the coming days/weeks. She is mentally 110%, but her hind legs just don't want to cooperate anymore. (some days they do, some they don't).

Edie, her brother, is 12, but he's not as "strong", so that will be for the near future as well. Ugh.

I also lost 2 parrots I got for my birthday. We had them for 6 months, and mysteriously they both suddenly went quiet and fell dead after 2 days. (no Monty Python jokes please "It's an ex-parrot" "It's pining for the Fjords", I know them all... ) Turned out they had the kind of parrot AIDS and were born with that, nothing could be done about it. Still hurt like hell. We got new ones after that, but one escaped (my fault...) so now Oscar is the big boss of the house (he's 4 now).

They are family members, and when they go they each leave a huge hole. But, it's also a privilege to have shared your time with them.

I can relate - I lost my two cats last year - I can't complain because they were both 20 y.o.+ but that did not make it any easier. It took a while to accept.

I now have two new ones, Blackberry and WaiWaiaa (Maori for beautiful).

At risk of pic-spamming, here they are when they were kittens .

Attached Images

Kittens.jpg (213.8 KB, 71 views)

Aye. We say that to ourselves: "oh look how old they got" but it doesn't change the hurt. Two years or twenty years: same size hole.

I often "complained" about the design fault of cats & dogs going before we do. And then we got Oscar. Parrots have the opposite problem: they often outlive us. So you have to prepare a solution for your little buddy for when you are gone (and they will miss you, very much, they will mourn, as you were their partner). That's almost even worse.

(sorry MrsD for going off-topic, I'll have a better on-topic post tomorrow! )

The neuropathy has been very bad. I went from depression to just being very angry today. This morning my damn legs gave out from under me. It was a gentle slide down to the ground but the damn legs just would not hold me. That happened months ago and scared the heck out of me. Now I am just ******. I don't understand what is happening. I was doing so good lately.

SC when’s the last time you had a full health check? It might be worth while?

PJ, ironically I scheduled some routine blood work just before my decline. I couldn't get an appointment til mid month. Perhaps that will show something but I doubt it. It was just such a huge disappointment having come so far this last month only to slide back these last few days. I am quite certain it is the neuropathy as I have been here before. The weakness is always the worst first thing in the morning and I was having that first smoke of the day. Smokes have got to go!

SC, I trust that the blood work doesn't show anything of concern.

I have noticed that my PN flares have decreased markedly since I have almost stopped smoking - maybe something to do with carbon monoxide and oxygen transport in the blood?

I hope that will be true for you too.