I understand all too well the difficulties of being a Christian with a chronic illness. My in-laws are pastors, and many times have tried to pressure me to go to a certain faith healer or have implied that I am not praying hard enough because I have not been cured. They get really upset when I tell them that it is possible that my creator might have a very good reason for not curing me.

kithitter, I have found your posts to be quite enlightening. Talk as much as you like. You have stories that are worth telling.

I have learned acceptance of my ailments, and contrary to what many friends and family think, this does not equate at all with giving up. This just means that I no longer get upset and think I am a failure if I am not able to go back to the person I was before I got sick. I still always do the best I can with whatever I have to work with, and preserve my health in ways that are within my ability to control.

For those of you who are familiar with the Bible, think of the story of Job. Horrible things happened to him, not because he was weak or did something to deserve them but simply because his creator chose to have them happen. Think of all the tough life lessons we have learned that a healthy person might not be able to even comprehend.

fanfaire

Although I'm not a Christian, the Old Testament and this story are quite familiar to me. I've thought of it many times since being ill with PN.
More-so in the beginning and less now, but the analogy seems to have been burned into my brain.
Especially the thought "Why Me?"
I have difficulty with the thinking that it was 'meant-to-be', that there is
a reason or a 'hand' in all this.
Bitterness and despair are easy to give in-to, when afflicted in this way.
Self-determination and cussed meanness are probably my way
of dealing with it. I'd like to think I'm too mean to let it get to me.
Faith really doesn't play too large a part in it, I'm afraid.
And please...... no interjections of re-examining my 'faith', or efforts for conversion.
We've been thru a lot of prayer for my son & his recovery from a fractured neck.
He's fortunate to be alive, altho a quadriplegic.
Maybe all the prayers helped, I'd like to think so - but he's still a quad, (and the true horrors that he & we have been thru, to get him to where he now is).......and I
still have PN.

But the Why ME? question constantly hits home. I've wrestled with this for the five long years I've had my own neuropathy. I have come to the conclusion: Why NOT me? It may or not be a testing of sorts, or merely a confluence of events that has set my own body to over-react in ways usually never anticipated.
I believe we all go thru a whole heap of 'self-evaluations', reassessments, whatevers about HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN? And maybe have some internal opinions, none of which are ever, well, provable Does it matter in the end? Maybe, but more important is getting the best available treatment for which neuropathy you have [usually not much] and in the spare time trying to educate others about it all so that better research and treatment can be something in our lifetimes.
I am truly blessed in that I know many who have far more devastating illnesses than I. Why? Because they show far, FAR more courage than I do in the way they deal with all of their issues. They truly demonstrate a FAITH COURAGE and DETERMINATION in SELF, by not accepting NO hope as an answer. Many of us are literally battered from pillar to post by the medical community regarding our diagnosis[es] and treatments. We truly have to follow our instincts and work very hard [tho not easily] to make the old axium: Lemons into lemonade! What alternatives do we have? There has to be some good in the end our of all this! It must be there, if only we take the time to see it.
I suspect that not one person here will give up without one heck of a fight along the way! Nor should we give up!
Enough! Hugs and hope to all! - j

You know I never really did the Why me question. I got really angry at God. This is a conundrum. You see...I don't believe God that gives out disease and illness. However my logic was, Hey if You rule the universe, haven't You gotten rid of this crap yet. You know I have better things to do? I just got promoted! One of the insights I have gained from this is..that everyone has something. Maybe their something is only temporary,it's something still the same. People have asked me "how do you keep going?". I tell them "just like you" I get up. praise God for my eye's opening and then put one foot in front of the other. I have a real twisted way of looking at pain. If I am in pain (of course I have my days) and I know that no other damage will occur from enduring the pain and still doing what I set out to do, I will continue. I can either be in pain from my couch or I can be in pain doing something constructive. I'm not stupid, I do listen to my body (more) and realize when I need to just give myself a rest.
I have given up on educating people. Oh yeah I will talk to other people who are sick. I find that telling people what is going on with me get's the same response. And most of the time they really don't care. I'm not saying that in a mean way. Just stating the truth. Plus I spent a lot of time in doc's offices convincing them that I was in fact disabled. It felt like I was selling my dignity and pride for money. I needed to provide for my family. It made the whole thing easier. If people want to think I am lazy because I don't participate in a way they think I should be contributing, let them think what they want.

I would rather do too much than too little. The consequences are worth it sometime's. I made a promise to myself, much to my wife's chagrin, I will die with my boot's on. Second Hand Lion's one of my favorite movies.

Peace out
Keep good time
Kithitter

Just so everyone know's..I play drums when I can. In drummer's circles, a drum set is called a "kit". Henceforth the name Kithitter. No I don't hit kitten's and if I dont say it slow enough people think I am saying 'kidhitter". I do have some young adult "kid's' I would like to thump on everyonce in a while. They kid me all the time " dad you aint a problem anymore, you can't breathe"! My response is that I may only get thirty second's of good air, but I only need ten to take care of you!

Well, good thing you cleared up the screen name....LOL, we have a member with a name that resembles what you have been 'hitting'....Thank goodness you are not related! I thought it was a firefighter way of expressing affection. We have a thread going on how folks got their screen names, might be fun for you to read and add to.

I haven't seen the post about screen name's. My firefighter nic was Shrek. I'm bald and big. My other screen name is Shreksbrother. Sometimes I even feel green. LOL.