I'm not going to put that thing to my chest ever again. We all think we are doctors when we do that and we all imagine a lot of stuff.

My big anxiety in my life has always been dental phobia. I NEVER WENT. Not unless I HAD TO!!!! It's a horrible phobia.
But last year, I found my "good guy" a dental phobia specialist in New York City.

Now I'm still afraid of the dentist. I still have to take a small amount of xanax before I go to an appointment, BUT I GO TO MY APPOINTMENT. I've kept 3 of them since I found this guy.

I smile now. With confidence.

Phobias rule your life and tear you apart.

Right now, I'm having a spell of depression because of my son and because of Christmas and because my close friend is dying of Stage 3 lung cancer and because my other close friend of 46 years stabbed me in the back 8 months ago.

It all hits me now because of Christmas. Christmas is about getting together with the people you are closest to. I only have Alan and some acquaintances. I don't call them friends.

I'll get through this like I got through the other 5 Christmases. But then, I had my two friends. I only hope the friend with lung cancer makes it through Christmas. She is such a dear. She had radiation pellets implanted in her chest 7months ago and then her grown kids wouldn't go near her, wouldn't let her in the same room as the grandchildren and well, it was a mess.

And to top it off she's anorexic and has been since she's 14. Imagine, battling cancer and anorexia at the same time. She won't eat. It's a mind-set thing. The doctors are throwing up their hands. She weighs 100 lbs. But she's been through 2 bouts of radiation and 2 bouts of chemo and she has to do more chemo because it spread. I think of her and her bravery and I say to myself "and YOU'RE DEPRESSED???

jeez. What some people go through. But she is very religious and goes to mass each morning so thank goodness for that.

Please excuse my rambling. I'm sure I'll be more normal after January 3rd. 2007. I always am a few days after the holidays are over.

Merry Merry everybody

Melody

Aww, I'm so sorry you have so much going on.

You know what's funny, is after you posted all of that I called a friend to bring me home a stethoscope. Curiosity gets me every time.

I know about the dentist thing, for 3 years I tried to go but once I finally had the courage, the dentist wouldn't see me because I have "uncontrolled seizures" ...sigh. The variety of pills I have taken have nearly ruined my teeth, so one bad seizure or fall and they are done. I had a nocturnal seizure and woke up to the sound of my wisdom tooth breaking in half (and boy was that a gross sound!).

Christmas seems to be my worst time of year. I moved here from Ohio, and while my family has made it well beyond being dysfunctional - I miss having a family for Christmas. No snow on Christmas depresses me. On the bright side, my boyfriend bought me a box of this stuff, and when you mix it with water it turns into snow! It's even cold like snow and lasts 2 weeks. I keep a bowl of it and stare at it trying to use my imagination. Now if he'd only stand on the roof and dump some past the window Christmas morning, he'd win some serious bonus points.

For what it is worth, I will think of you for Christmas.

Thanks hon

mel

... all of us cyber friends that you can ramble on to whenever you want/need to. We are all here for each other.

Ellie - where in Ohio were you from? I live just outside of Toledo.

diana

Thanks much, Diana.

Melody

Dear Melody:

So sorry you are feeling blue right now for a number of reasons. Please know that I LOOK FOR your postings first thing after logging on to this Forum. I am probably not the only one who does that. You are a ray of sunshine each day.

Shirley H.

Wow, Shirley. How nice of you to say that. I really needed some day brighteners. Having a child with a mental illness (especially when you haven't been sure he did indeed HAVE a mental illness), well, I wouldn't wish this on anybody. I take it one day at a time.

something funny just happened. My landlord (who is italian and speaks very bad broken english and thank god, I DO speak italian) just rang my doorbell. Today is the 7th, right??. I paid the rent on November 30 and I gave him the December rent. I always pay before or on the first of the month. Been doing that for 14 years. They have only raised us twice and the second time only $50.00. That was a few months ago. So thankfully we don't have greedy people for landlords. We would literally be on the streets if that were the case.

so he comes into my apartment and says "the rent check said 12".
Alan looks at him and says "what???" And Vinny goes "the rent check said 12,you know December"!!! Alan looks at me and says "what is he talking about?". So I ask in italian what is he talking about?? He again looks at us (he seems to know what he is saying but we don't have a clue) and says the check says 12. I looked at him and said "well, this is December and that means the 12th month (this is all in italian by the way and Alan is jewish so try to imagine his face while watching us talk italian. I politely ask in italian "what are you trying to tell us" (I was getting scared that he was raising us $12.00 or something like that). My landlord burst out laughing and said "the rent check is dated 12". So here we go again.

I said (in italian). "look Vincenzo, December is the 12th month of the year, that's why there's a number 12 on the check". Finally it dawns on him that he is not expressing himself correctly and he goes "uno momento, and runs out the door and comes back and there is the rent check that Alan wrote and the check is dated DECEMBER 12TH, 2006. The bank would not accept a check on the first that was dated the 12th. I look at Alan and say "write this man another check and date it today".

I have to check what Rocky writes now. Lord Lord.

melody

My landlord

Born and raised in Cincinnati, Ohio. It was bizarre to watch it mold into what it is now, and it wasn't for the better. Their crime rate continues to climb the charts, and each visit back home yielded more buildings with wood covered windows and people on street corners selling things. I decided since my last trip back home that I will not return again. In a way, each visit took away from good memories, because now I remember the way it looks now.

I was able to see a bit of Ohio; Columbus, Cleveland (I happened to visit the 'bad' part, oy!), Toledo and a few other areas.

How is the area you live in? I always wondered what it was like in the other parts, after the riot our area just went downhill. Living in California is still a bit of a culture shock, and the prices here are something I will never adjust to. The home I live in now would be worth around 400,000 in Cincinnati and it is 1.2 million here. It should be paid off 20 years after we die. Haha.

I think the best part of moving to such opposite areas was going from sitting on a tree branch looking at the muddy river to sitting in the sand looking at the ocean. The smell and sounds of the ocean here bring me more comfort than words can explain. I don't get into the trendy hype here, I like 'home' and I like my yard. I like to read by the ocean. I know I was meant to be here, and thankfully I came here looking for 'home' and not to be a star. I've seen what happens to those people and it's not pretty most of the time!

If you ever visit southern California, come to Newport Beach. People watching is highly entertaining here. They wear mini skirts with snow boots! I'd have killed for those "Uggs" when I was scraping snow off of my windshield back home, lol.

I agree on Melody, too. I love, love, love reading her stories. It makes me smile every time.

I didn't have time to read this whole thread, but I did notice that Mel said she couldn't recall when she had last told a doc about her MVP. I wondered if you were aware that you need to premedicate with antibiotics with any dental procedure due to this? Even my Dermatologist makes me premedicate when he removes a growth, like a mole, due to my MVP.

You all probably already know this, but just in case...

Cathie

Don't worry about me telling a doc about my mitral valve prolapse. They all know it and my next visit is on December 18. And every time I go to the dentist I take the antibiotics.

NOW LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING FASINCATING THAT JUST HAPPENED TO ALAN AND ME!!!!!

We just came home from shopping and on the way home (right around the corner from my house is a little chinese furniture store. They opened up about 7 months ago. I would never have gone in but I spotted this chair thing in there about two weeks ago, I went in, took one look at the chair and said to myself: "Alan would die for this chair". So today was the day.

We are walking past the store and I drag Alan inside. Now he has been in massage chairs. He has been to The Sharper Image in NYC and Brookstone in NYC and he has sat in $4000 massage chairs where you lean back and put your feet in the bottom part and something in the chair goes up and down your back and Alan always goes nuts in these chairs because, as he puts it "it's like Dr. Theirl using the G5 machine on my back.

BUT NOTHING PREPARED ALAN FOR THE CHAIR HE SAT IN TODAY.

The name of the chair is CYBER-RELAX MassageChair SKS 1850.

I won't tell you the price until the end of my story.

the lady says to Alan. Take off your coat and your shoes. He did and then sat down. She advised him to sit all the way in and rest his head back and then she programmed the thing. By the way it's programmed to do 514 functions and it comes with heat and vibrators.

Well, as soon as she turns it on, some pillow thing on each side of Alan starts to inflate and the look on his face was priceless. He murmurs "oh my god". and then he made this OOHH sound with his mouth. I never laughed so hard in all my life. The pillow expander things on each of his side cushioned him and started to rock him back and forth (I kid you not). Then under his neck, something starts to expand and deflate and he went "oh, oh".

Then, (you know how at night, I massage him and thump his back up and down), well this chair starts to thump his back and the lady goes, "how hard do you want it, I don't want to hurt you". I shouted "THUMP HIM, THUMP HIM". He couldn't talk because I think he was in ecstasy!!!

He was just sitting there and dropping dead. He was in such heaven, well, you can't imagine. Oh, when you sit in this thing, you place your wrists inside it and if you have carpal tunnel, well it treats your carpal tunnel.

So now, Alan is getting his neck, his back, his waist, his calves and his feet, (all these pillow things are expanding and deflating and his back is going thump thump thump. He is just sitting there in ecstasy.

Then the chair starts to rock back and forth and I go "Alan, the chair is rocking back and forth". He never heard me because he never opened his eyes, he was smiling so hard. She let him sit in this thing for 20 minutes. I couldn't believe it.

Here's the link to this chair. They have all models but this one was the top of the line, the Model 1850.

How much does it cost???? $7800.00

Here's the link so you can see what it looks like.

http://www.massagechair.tv/index.asp...on=Custom&ID=7

Alan came home a very very happy camper.

He now wants to go on Deal or no Deal to get this chair.

Melody