Thanks so much for the advice and the link.

Yes, the male is social. At the shelter, he is staying in a common room with other cats, rather than in a cage.

When our female was rescued by a friend, she was, as young Queen's will do, traveling in the company of another female. Sadly, we couldn't entice her shy companion indoors before the very brutal winter set in. Poor baby.
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First off I LOVE Jackson Galaxy! His site always has great information.

I have successfully integrated new cats to my house on multiple occasions. I find all cats are different as far as how long it takes to get them together. I keep the new comer restricted to one room. In your case I would probably use your daughters room so she can bound with her new friend as well as prepare the existing cat for the new comer.

Tell hubby it can be done. My cats are 16, 12, 10, 4 and 2 and all have been brought home at different times and integrated into the household.

Not sure I get what that means, exactly.

I have no idea why cats seem to have this affinity for whoever is most allergic/least cat-lover. I have the same problem (allergic) and guess who's lap they head for first...
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She likely gets her dog-affinity from you. My concern is that the most affectionate dog-like cat in the world still isn't a dog, and can't be made to behave/think like one. Some kids can understand this; others can't. Likewise, the most docile dog-like cat in the world still can't/won't tolerate the (kind of) doting that dogs will. Not trying to be negative—just pragmatic. There may not be a cat that can satisfy that need/relationship.

While dogs are pack-oriented & social, cats—as a rule—are solitary & territorial by nature. While there are exceptions, in all likelihood, they will choose their turf in the house (in 2-story houses, it's not uncommon for each to choose a floor) and seldom/rarely get chummy.

OTOH, there are a very few cats who just don't/won't adapt, despite doing everything correctly (this may be your husband's reservation) and this can be problematical.


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My personal experiences have been bringing in multiple cats—as kittens—at the same time, so I'll defer to others on this kind of introduction.

Doc

Hi Doctor Smith,

Yes, I agree 100% that what my child really wants (and needs) is a dog. It's not that my child is an animal mauler. She is mature and respectful of animals. She just needs something that wants her love.

I fear a cat, no matter how dog-like, will not be able to fill the void left by the loss of our dear Retriever. To expect that from a cat is, frankly, unrealistic and unfair. The child and the dog had such a special bond, that even another canine might struggle to fit the bill.

Sadly, my husband will not agree to getting another dog. After I became disabled in an MVA, he discovered that dogs don't walk themselves. lol He simply doesn't want to be "burdened" by any creature that requires ANY effort on his part. I proposed breeds with very minimal exercise/training needs, but, no dice. He remained unmovable, even in the face of our daughter's profound grief at the loss of her dog.

The child does need pets. I'm a TBI patient, prone to outbursts of temper. The dog was playing a very important role in helping her cope with the inevitable stress in our household. Dogs will sense mood and sit, forever, and listen to your troubles with empathetic eyes. I'd take a poodle over Prozac, any day.

The addition of the first cat to the house has helped things. However, she is not a major cuddler. The male were looking at does love to be stroked. That calming physical contact would be valuable to my child. The homeless cat will get a loving home, where he will be treated like a king.

To my shock, hubby has agreed to go to the shelter to meet the cat. That's a long way from agreeing to adopt him, but it's a lot more cooperation than I expected.

Ouch.
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He may not realize the seed of resentment he's sowing.

Sad for you both,

Doc

He knows. He just doesn't care.
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All respect, I have to disagree about how cats are. Yes, some cats are more solitary, but I have 4, all boys, and they are all pretty social, with one of them being extremely social and dog-like. He follows me everywhere, site on the chair with me, licks my hand and face, fetches, etc. He doesn't walk on a leash, but he probably would have had I introduced it to him. The fact that you are getting a boy is a good idea if you want a more social animal. For the most part, male cats are more sociable than females, which is perhaps why your daughter didn't get the kind of interaction she wanted from your female cat. Anyway, I was a dog person all my life until I got my first cat. I have both a dog and 4 cats now and the only thing the cats seem to be "missing" is the neediness that some dogs display. Anyway, the cat will hopefully give your daughter all the love and affection she craves. I think if she puts the energy into developing the relationship, she will be thrilled at the results!
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I didn't mean to "dis" cats. I actually really, really love our little female. I find her feline personality engaging and enjoy her independent streak. When she comes to me, she really WANTS to be there. They are intriguing and enigmatic creatures. I've never had a cat before, but I'd never be without one now.

However, you're dead on about the cat vs dog thing: what my daughter really misses is the sense of being needed. I do think the male kitty at the shelter would be a good fit for her. He craves attention and she'd like to shower him with it. Fingers crossed.

Acknowledging/recognizing legitimate special (i.e. of, or relating to, a species) differences is not "dis"sing.

Alexicat,

I was careful to use the terms "by nature" and "as a rule", and to acknowledge there are exceptions. I've had both cats & dogs (as well as several exotics), and can acknowledge and appreciate the differences.

If there's disagreement, it's not with anyone here. From 2 cat websites:
I think that last statement illustrates/sums it up best.

Doc