No way outta it. And, I will bet in the long term, YOU will be repaid in appreciation by an enthustiasic 'Purr Box' ten fold! Not to mention a heater cat that just knows where to snuggle to the benefit of both of you.
While I would have preferred a dog at times? My DH is allergic, but not, somehow to cats..go figger! Where ever I go cats and dogs that aren't super friendly or are shy, to others, just 'come' up to me and peg me for the sucker I am!
My last cat, was a 'neighborhood cat' and just came up to my back door and 'knocked'! I kid you not. He had a very happy and well cared for and appreciated life with us, until he died 3 years ago from a cancer. Even thru his initial decline before a diagnosis, he was a brave and super cat. I had a friend who had gone through some serious trauma, and she'd stayed with us for a few weeks....well-Mr Tommy Cat [who never curls up with PEOPLE!] curled up with her at just the right times. He helped her heal a bit. Actually a lot.
Remember that cats are VERY PICKY about the people that they can choose! YOU have been chosen. Respect cat's instincts and in turn be sure you respect theirs.
As for the care and feeding aspects tho? I'd about now start looking into hairball pastes....he/she's gonna shed out that bad sick coat and start doing the choking thing that goes w/hairballs. Start if you can? Getting the beast used to a brush to get out the old coat and encourage the new one to grow with all the good groceries being fed, will pay off by summer, I am sure.
As for crying when creatures die? I've lost seven in my life...most small some large and each time it's HARD! It never gets any easier with any one, it's to me tho, if they've been really sick? A blessing that they've no more pain! They are spiritually in a far better place, hopefully one we can meet them in some time in the future.
YOU have been officially ADOPTED I believe!
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's - j

Vowel Lady I want to congratulate you on your new addition. Can't wait for pics of Cupcake!

As in settling in and all that? Do you get that wonderful furr-purr-box on your lap at times? Such things can do wonders for your spirit. Quieting yet stimulating at the same time.
Do keep us up to date! Please? - j

Cupcake does purrr a lot. She doesn't always like to be picked up...but she really likes being petted. She follows us around the yard. She LOVES food!
Our dog is forlorn. She hangs out by the window...skulking...sometimes barking. Today, I remprimanded her for the barking and it finally stopped.
Everyone is adjusting. Working on photos...want to wait until I get a comb (probably tomorrow) and she gains a little (hopefully within the next few days). The entire family is attached...she is very cute!

Try this to get her more used to you....
I don't pick up cats or kiss them or put my face close..like some people do. But my husband does carry Oreo around with him...she likes him best, since the other two seem to hog me.
She only will let him hold her along his left arm. A vet once told us that this is what all cats feel more secure with.

But also if you get down on the grass with her, more on her level, she may warm up to holding, etc faster. Cats that are not handled when very young are less likely to want you to hold them. I never push the holding. Our cats all have intact claws and I always respect that.

Invite the dog outside too. Sometimes both cats and dogs need an invitation!
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I'm glad you are enjoying her. Getting to know a new animal can be such fun! I've been watching the dog shows again...sigh!

My Gracie is the same way, Vowel lady. When I adopted her, it was from a family who had gone through foreclosure on their home. They had moved out, but a herd of cats and kittens remained behind.

When I went to the house, kittens were running wild everywhere. Gracie is affectionate and will come up to me purring, even lay nearby, but she mostly cuddles with the other cats. And she does NOT like to be picked up and held!

You remind me my days are numbered with my Sheltie and Collie. While the Sheltie is older (11 yo) than the Collie (est 8 yo), their lifespan will coincide and I will be in a world of pain. I was a mess last April when the Collie dug out of our backyard (lost his collar in the process) and was not found for three days and three nights! I was miserable.

Obviously there was a happy ending when he was found
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