Prayers for my DH
 

Hey guys,

Just asking for a alittle prayer for my DH.

Nothing life threatening so no worries there.

But he could lose his job which would be a set back for us and we wouldhave to sell our house most likley.

His boss is a real jerk (the stories about this man are beyond unbelievable) and bascially ripped my DH apart yesterday.

I could not believe how much he crushed my DH's spirit to the point my husband apologized to me for being a bad husband which is just ridiculous if you knew him.

You know being a boss its one thing to provide contructive criticism to an employee its another to completely crush their self esteem to make yourself feel better.

I believe in my heart this man does this to make himself feel better for his own bitter life and shortcomings.

So please say a prayer to lift my DH's spirit and not because he deserves it because he does not but please say a prayer for his boss to find compassion in his miserable little life.

I'm so sorry to read about your DH's position right now. I can't imagine what you both must be going through emotionally with this sress and uncertainty hanging over your heads.

I hope and pray his job will be safe, that things won't get any worse for him, and that his boss comes to his senses and starts acting like a compassionate human being.

I'll be saying a prayer for you both. :hug:

:hug:Shelley & DH, I'm so sorry this man has acted so immature and unprofessional. It's a shame that someone in an authority position would do this to someone else. IMO...he should be either demoted or fired.

We had a couple of hotheads at the place I worked but they didn't last long.

I pray that your DH doesn't take this man's opinion to heart. And I pray that the "boss" gets a wakeup call and soon.

shell shell,

everytime he feels down...

please point to that bottle of special sand where he wrote his proposal to you...

that should remind him of what a good husband he is.... :)

And we'll be praying for you and DH...

and yes, pray for his boss also, because he needs more prayer than anyone else....

((((BIG HUGS))))

PS, don't drink syrup...LOL ;)

and, should we do a FOOD drive for you guys?? (since shell shell is always hungry)

:grouphug:

I heard she likes mints, lol! ;)

Sending up prayers for you, your DH and his boss...

This is a frightening time economically even without the boss being a pain in the you know what... I'm sorry to hear your hubby is having to deal with this pain.

I pray things calm down and your hubby's boss see's the light and eases up on the hubby.

:hug:
Abbie

Sending prayers up right now Shelly. Try to hold on and know we're here for you if needed. :hug:

Thank you all. I hope that all of your wonderful prayers comfort him as he is beating himself up.

I cant even begin to tell you the disgust, horror and anger I felt as DH repeated to me the things his boss said to him. The guy made it personal and wanted to hurt him deliberately. He is the type of person that makes himself feel better by hurting others among other sordid things.

If you only knew my DH who has the most character and integrity of anyone I know. And I am just not saying that. And he is really good at this job (I have always looked up to him jobwise because we are in the same business) Plus we have always known that this man is threatened by my DH talent-wise even though my Dh fully respects his bosses position and never tries to outshine him or do anything out of the line of authority.

My heart just broke for him last night and all I could say was I love you so much and I believe in you...but it was not enough to take away the pain of how his boss treated him. :( He destroyed a little piece of my DH and for that I will never forgive this man.

Consider it done, Shelley, I'll get Corrine and my other warriors too. But, I must warn you, we will also be praying that your anger is released and that you will forgive this man. You don't need a bitter thorn to bear on behalf of another. :hug:

THanks Nappy :hug: I would consider forgiving him if you would lend me the slingshot first. :mad::mad::mad:

Well..One little slingshot wouldn't be so bad, would it? :o
I'm sorry your DH's boss missuses his authority like that. He won't last too long with that kind of arrogance and insecurity. It's an ego blow to hear stuff like that from someone you work for..from ANYONE..Keep reassuring him and give it time..I'm praying for you both (and his boss, too). :hug:
Blessings,
Kris

Lots of prayers for your family Shelley!!!!!!

(((((((((((Shelley & DH))))))))))))))))))

I pray the boss guy has a real wake up call and realizes how wrong he is being...

and I pray something will happen to greatly encourage and reassure your hubby of his abilities and worth.

:grouphug:

I know this situation...
 

I am so sorry to read that this happened to your hubby, Shelley.

We had a similar situation years ago, and it was stressful for my husband too.

I am sending all the strength I have at the moment for him!

I hope your husband can weather this, without quitting.
I know it is stressful and hard.

It seems the extremity of the abuse is in a small way pointing to a solution of sorts. When bosses of this type blow up, it is because of THEIR own short comings, and character flaws, not the recipients'. When they blow up like this they are creating issues in the recipients to make them feel like a small child, and pushing those buttons is what creates the pain, IMO.
Then feeling "trapped" by the feelings in the present situation then escalates this pain. The boss is in effect dumping his crap on your husband.

I would urge you to listen to your husband and point out that now is the time to START to look for another job. But not to quit in reaction, and thereby put your whole life in chaos. This is what his boss enjoys, sadistic results! If this bully intended to fire your husband, he would have. Instead he is using him as a punching bag.

When I was recovering from my abusive childhood, back in my 20's I had a great therapist who encouraged me to stop reacting and begin to act when confronted with situations. I had learned to react to survive, but as an adult did not learn ways to ACT to solve my feelings. Conscientious sensitive people tend to react most of the time to keep the peace.

Somewhere in this horrible event, there will be some action in the future your husband can begin to do, that will change things for him and you. Maybe find another job on your husband's terms, or deal with the sadistic boss in a different way. But those solutions take time to find and effect.

These are bad times to quit a job..so I am sending you positive thoughts so you can support your husband as he needs, and to also find ways to soon solve this painful problem. :hug:

Here ya go, Shelley.....http://i283.photobucket.com/albums/k.../slingshot.gif

but I'm gonna need it back once you're through. You just never know around here when you're gonna need it!! :eek:

I hope today's a better day for your DH.

Sorry Shelley:hug: Debbie and my prayers are with DH and you, hang in there hope for the best:hug:

:smileypray::smileypray::smileypray::smileypray::s mileypray:

you got it my little cupcake. :hug:

i ditto cindy's prayers.

plus i think hubby's boss needs some too. he must have some deep seeded issues for him to treat people this way. i pray he can be released from those and find inner peace and the abitly to treat people in a fair and just manner, with grace.

Shelley
 

I had a boss like that for 14 years. They don't change if they own their own business,I'm sorry to say. It hurt me deeply too. I was sincere,and tried to help my boss to the best of my ability. That's why it hurt so bad. You just can't shake it off if you are around a work situation like that,year,after year,day to day. I'm saying a prayer for him. I'm so sorry that he is buffeted by a boss like that. I've forgiven mine. I'll say a prayer:smileypray:for both. Brokenfriend:hug::hug::hug::smileypray:

Shelley, how are things going?

Still praying....

Shelley,

I hope you can rise above this someday soon. Do not allow this man's venom to poison you too. It's bad enough your DH has to carry around the memory of that day. I know it's hard to do, but I hope someday you'll both get past this. :hug: Try to consider the source and feel sorry for him. Your DH is a much better person than him. I hope he can find a new job soon.

I agree with MrsD. This guy does not deserve to have your husband's talent or presence in his business. I hope your DH will find a well run company that respects its employees to work for someday soon.

BTW, there are articles out there about dealing with difficult bosses. You might find some good ones to help your DH in the meantime.

Aw Shelley....what a jerk. I feel so bad for DH and you. I hope it all works out and his boss see's the light and realizes what he's done.

:hug: and prayers for you both....

(and a big box of mints!)

:D

Thanks guys for all your prayers. I really do think my DH felt them and is in slightly better spirits.

He was in NY for a couple days at headquarters and he said everyone there was fantastic to him. Took him to lunch all wanted to meet with him while he was in.

HIs boss was also there but did not interact much with him and the one night where they had a big awards dinner his boss was just cold cold cold to him in front of everyone. It just confirms more that there is a conflict. But it did give him some confidence to kow how everyone at HQ really likes and appreciates him and thinks he does a good job.

It really made what Mrsd said even more clear...that this is specific to his boss and that if he wanted to fire him he would have but based on this bosses superiors everyone likes my DH and thinks he does a great job so I bet the boss can't fire him but sure is torturing him to get him to leave.

Then when my DH landed back home he read his emails and his company announced cost cutting that would involve personnel cuts most likely.

And we are betting if there is layoffs his boss will most defintely lay him off.

So we sat and talked and put together a plan of action together of things we can do, places he can send resumes to, how unemployment works, how to negotiate a severance, ways to cut costs and how long we could make it without his paycheck and still hang onto our house. (can somone create a forum for shoe and handbag shopping withdrawl? - see atleast I can laugh about it - your prayers have helped us :p)

Please keep him in your prayers. I even said one for his boss and asked God to help the man find compassion. Even if I did have the slingshot behind my back.

Tomorrow is resume day and we have identified atleast 3 places we can send it out and possibly one may be hiring in 2009 which is not that far away.

Thanks again :hug:

Maybe they are considering giving your DH the boss's job? Maybe the boss knows this too? It could be that he's scared for himself so that's partly why he acted like such a jerk?

Yes
 

You never know. That could be what's happening in the internal affairs of the company. God gives favor,to whom he gives favor.

Whatever happens,God is in control,and to everything there is a season. He closes some doors,and opens others. Only God knows,and I'm sure that he is displeased with his bosses behavior. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Oh Wiz I could only hope for something like that but his boss is a 20+year veteran of the company and DH has only been there 2 years but moved up quickly. BUt you never know.

You are rigth BrokenFriend, I am putting my faith in God first and foremost and I have faith in my DH and his character and ability.

If the worst does happen I just want him to know I love him dearly and we will survive. He is strong and proud he and we will rebound. We cannot put our head in the ground and hide and wallow in fear.

And I am trying to look at this as a chance to assess what is truly most important to us.

But I certainly could not even try to be this postive or even supportive without all of your prayers, support and friendship. I may stumble along the way and have a bad day and fear may take over but I am going to do my best.

:grouphug:

middle managers
 

are typically the first to go. Is this boss a middle manager?

I read a really good book recently based on the new data about psychopaths in the workplace. This was co-written by an
expert on identifying psychopaths (20+ yrs research by Dr. Hare of Canada).

The book is called Snakes in Suits, and is really good.
Our library had it, and that is where I found it.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13150054/

You might find it helpful. It is a bit of a downer tho.
My last job was riddled with this problem. It is one reason I retired early!

Just hold tight for a short while...this may settle out in surprising ways. But I would still plan on making a change, and keep options open.

The problem my husband had, fixed itself. His problematic boss was moved laterally, to another division. He was just awful and wouldn't let my husband take his vacation all in one block (we need that for our far away summer place). He did turn him in for bonuses since my husband had a high output, but he harassed him all the same (as if he were envious or something).

Forget about the slingshot, Shelley.

I'm envisioning something more like the contraption the ladies in "9 to 5" had their boss wearing, and hooked to the garage door opener. :eek: ;)



Nah, seriously, you have to keep praying for "those who despitefully use you" or else (as has been said) the strong emotions will poison you from the inside out. It's dang hard, but it really works.

You may look back a year from now recognize this time of tribulation as a blessing. I pray for you and your DH. I'll let YOU pray for the boss (kidding). :D

Hmmmm its such a massive company that I am not sure if I would call him middle level. I think maybe more senior level. He is a SVP.

I am totally going to get the book. Always helpful to learn how to manage people like these.

Shelley
 

I hope that they transfer his boss to some other division of the business. I'm hoping for the best. I'm going to say another prayer:smileypray: "What the world needs now,is Love sweet Love" BF:hug::hug::hug:

Ah Shel, just seeing this tonight.:(

If personal and abusive things were said would a letter to HR or higher up be helpful?
Does this boss treat any others the same way??

Even if you don't send the letter now, it might be good have at home in case it ever happens again. To have a record of what transpired??

(((Shelley)))
Looks like you guys are doing fine..Stay positive and be proactive in case the worst happens. If you feel as if you've worked toward being ready for anything, anything can happen and you'll come out on top. Glad things went so well for your DH at HQ. That had to lift his spirits a bit..That, and having a loving, supportive wife.
Still hoping for the best for all ~
Blessings,
Kris

Ah Jo, we wish we would have done this. His abusive behavior has been going on for some time. The boss does treat others badly but treats my DH even worse.

Given that they now have announced thre will likley bee layoffs a letter to HR would not look good right now and more like sour grapes if offered a package.

But he has been keeping copies of all correspondence for a month or two and is sending himself emails after every interaction with commentary of what was said just in case.

Tonight he did his resume and we sent to two peole. Tomorrow two more places so we are trying to be productive.

Thanks Polar :hug: It did lift his spirits and just getting some things out to people helped him today as well.

SOmetimes the limbo part weighs on my mind but I am trying to be super supportive.

THanks for your continued prayers.

I'm praying that every thing will work out for you two sweet people!:hug:

Plus...on the cost cutting front..Good to know that Taffy is slipping in all wedding showers, baby showers, etc,and dumping all the Chehalis Mints they have as treats in her purse and will be sending them to you Shells!:D

Now that just made my day! :hug:

Best of Luck with the resume's - I really hope something comes out of them!!

To bad the boss wouldn't get the layoff instead of your DH!

hubby and I have been discussing this
 

situation this weekend.

He reminded me to tell you that VP designations can be very
hollow. He audits businesses, and says some just give that
label to workers instead of bonuses of money.

He has seen places with many many VPs! He says they are typically weeded out when tough times come. The VP often means nothing in his opinion.

This boss may be on the chopping block as we type these posts!

Hang in there!

Shelley
 

Your husband's mean boss needs to go through that Dale Carnegie training,and read his book," How to Win Friends & influence People". My Dad swears by this mans teaching,and training.

Major corporate bosses need to send all of there bosses to training like this. Over 15 Million copies of this book have been sold. BF:hug::hug::hug::)

Prayers and good thoughts headed your way.

That's a good point. HIS Boss may be the one let go first since he makes more money. If his job can be downsized it's a very big possibility.