Why no sex talk??
 

I have been at NT now about a month, love it here, feels like home. I got very sick with severe Guillian-Barre syndrome, 13 years ago, I survived by a miracle, and have recovered well, but for the nerve damage pain, and since have had another accident, which has left me with one paralysed leg and foot, and worse nerve pain. I was excited to see this thread about sexual disorders and sexuality, but when I went to it, the last post was from 2007! Not very current! Why is this? Is there no one else suffering with any sexual problems, or is that too much of an embarrassing topic to discuss? I could sure use some help in this area, and I am not too shy to talk about sex-how about you? Anyone else want to revive this topic with me?

Maybe if you go ahead and ask your questions prairiemary, some-one will come along with answers, and hopefully.... further discussion.

It's certainly worth a try. :)

Okay,here I go! I used to want a normal amount of sex,but since I have been on morphine and elavil, I could care less, is this normal with being on medication, or is it a perimenopause situation?I would like to hear from other 49 yr. old women with neuropathy pain,and nearing or in menopause. After I got Guilllain-Barre, the muscles that used to work just fine, well, I can not even really feel them anymore, no matter what exercises I have tried, I mean how can you exercise muscles that you do not feel?

I'm not a woman or suffer the same disease as you (I'm a 38 year old guy with MS), but I'll be brave enough to step forward.

I would quiz my gyno on all this. I know many meds, especially for pain or depression, can kill the sex drive. Which makes no sense at all from my stand point. Everyone's individual physiology is just enough off tilt so that no two reactions are identical.

Most of the western world is sexually repressed. We see hints of sex on the TV and billboards but it's not something we talk about over breakfast.

*Since MS and a car wreck 3 years ago, pretty much any ailment you can think of regarding a penis has hit me. I've pretty much given up that that part of my life is over.

But this isn't about me and I would hot foot it over to a doc for help on this.

Plus a Moose size thread bump never hurts. :)

I am the MonSter that MS fears.

I don't know that lack of "drive" would be from the perimenopause.. but I suppose that affects women differently too.

I would guess that it is probably meds related..you might want ask the question on our Medications forum also.
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum72.html

how long ago did you have the G-B syndrome?

As Jo*mar suggested, the medications that you take are quite possibly to blame, but I did do some checking for you, from the perimenopausal point of view.

The most basic cause of low sex drive in women is hormonal inbalance, which comes in many forms. Progesterone is crucial to libido, and the natural fall in its production during perimenopause can wash away sexual desire all by itself.
http://www.womentowomen.com/understa...sofdesire.aspx

Both physical and emotional factors can lower sex drive.

The most common physical one is hormone inbalance. When hormones are out of balance, other symptoms also arise. These include hot flashes, insomnia, fatigue, mood swings, and weight gain. Once women get their hormones back in balance, they usually get their desire back as well.

Another factor is stress.

The body naturally puts survival ahead of pleasure. Your over-burdened adrenal glands can rob your body of the building blocks it uses to make estrogen and testosterone, which are vital to desire and sexual response.
http://www.womentowomen.com/sexualit...menopause.aspx

Nutrition and diet also affect libido. Not only does chronic dieting lead to hormonal inbalances, but also has an inpact on energy levels and self image, which in turn leads to loss of libido. Low fat diets cause havoc with our hormones, as fats are needed by the body to manufacture hormones such as Progesterone, which is the hormone needed by our body for sexual desire.

I just don't worry about it. I have very little or no sex drive but who cares? I guess if I were married to someone who wanted sex it would be a problem but since I'm not, it's just no problem for me.

As for the question about morphine and lowered sex drive, heroin makes it really low, I know. My late husband was a heroin addict and even when he quit the drug, he never really seemed to have one. Morphine is a close relative of heroin, so probably the same thing occurs with that.

Oh, and about the menopause question, of course hormones change and lessen during menopause. I was more interested in sex before menopause, but think of it---before menopause, when you're in your childbearing years, you're made so that you're going to have more interest in sex for procreating. After menopause, then it's natural that your hormones change so that you don't care so much about sex. Men continue to have sexual desire into older ages because they can still father children into old age.

A question about sex, eh! Mary, are you really Canadian? Quick, who scored the winning goal in the 1972 Canada/Russia hockey series? lol

I agree with much of what has been said. This is a complex issue that I doubt has one definitive answer. For example, menopause doesn't lower the libido in all women. Some, for example, find they're more relaxed knowing there is no risk of conception. (Their kids must be terrors.)

I think that fatigue is another factor in this problem. Pain, and getting through the day in pain, is exhausting. Sex takes a lot of energy.

Psychological factors are also at play. In addition to an altered body image, I also think that resentment toward a partner who doesn't always understand the trials of our daily lives can lower desire. "Come hither, you big, insensitive clod." See what I mean?

Cheers

I wouldn't blame it all on menopause either.
Physical, emotional, relationship play a part, as well as a person's general attitude /upbringing.

Maybe you can experiment with different "toys", and see if any of them can elicit pleasurable sensations for you? I rarely have orgasms anymore, but I still enjoy stimulation.

A toy I'm eager to try out is called a violet wand. My friend swears by it!

Or
"come hither you pot-bellied stallion." :D

After having a number of symptoms and a whirlwind of doctors with conflicted opinions, I was dx'ed with Guillian-Barre. My sex drive was near non-existent after my twins were born 3 years ago (yes, i know it's a long time). Now, it no longer exists and with me being on Celexa, which is notorious for killing the desire, I am now feeling like I could care less for it. My partner is very understanding but it makes me feel very guilty since we are so young. This is not a mechanical or physical problem either, so toys or other things will not help. It's just that mentally I no longer want it hardly at all.

Lack of desire for sex
 

Hockey said: "a partner who doesn't always understand the trials of our daily lives can lower desire. "Come hither, you big, insensitive clod." See what I mean?"

ROFLWMP (literally)

Over many years I discovered that lack of desire did not mean I couldn't get aroused. I finally realized that turning down sex with my beloved was making him unhappy and I stopped saying no. It was amazing how our relationship, and his sensitivity, improved after that. No longer fearing rejection, he bloomed. I am lucky -- he is gone, and I have sweet memories and no remorse about loving words unsaid.

PAIN = STRESS, and chronic/intractable pain = chronic/intractable stress.

Aside from pain itself, many of the medications used to treat pain, including but not limited to ALL opioids, supress adrenal hormones, which negatively impact libido (desire).

Testosterone is just as important to women's libido as it is to men's - just in much lower levels.

Google: testosterone libido
Google: chronic pain hormone therapy

Properly balanced hormones can also have an effect on controlling/reducing pain itself, and a long list of other symptoms. It's a simple matter (blood test with fasting) to get levels on all the adrenal hormones, from pregnenolone (the "mother/master" hormone which is a precursor to all the adrenal hormones) on down to estrogen/testosterone, and then supplement the ones that are too low.

Doc

PS: Catma, don't forget to change your drawers! :D